January 6, 2006
At one, we loved you with
all our heart; at two we
love you twice as much! —
which makes mathematical sense
—though it also helps that
you’re now much better at
completing your chores, and
at smuggling Dad’s peyote in
from New Mexico in your Easy-
Up Elmo toddler nappies.
By the way, the grass looks
marvelous!—and the rain
gutters are running clear as
Cameron Diaz after a $500 Bel
Air colonic. Well done, my beautiful
son! Enjoy your chocolate cake!
Er…OK. Happy Birthday Satchel. Don’t worry, daddy will be better in a while. Just dolike he says and enjoy the cake.
So has Stch tried to ride the armadillo like a minature armored horse yet?
Get well soon.
World’s major smuggling locales:
1. Waziristan
2. Miami International Airport
3. Any place where North Korean border guards are on the take for a Big Mac…hell, anything really
4. The New Mexico/Colorado state line
Who knew?
FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, SATCHELITO!!!
You forgot the picture of Satchel. We’ll expect one up as soon as you’re feeling up to snuff. (And, by “up to snuff,” I mean “feeling better.” I’m not endorsing you going out and watching a snuff film.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SATCHEL!!!!
Jeff,
TYou are to be congratulated for that fine specimen of a young man that you produced. So well mannered too. Oh, you should probably pass some kudos over to the wife too….she probably contributed some.
Glad to see you took my medical advice and are feeling better. Perhaps you could post on the massage experience when you get time….and tell us if the BJ was truly “medicinal”.
So do you lean more for the Gallup Green Dragon or maybe some of the Sandia Wild Ride? Being an Albuquerque boy myself, we would head to the Isleta Lakes for an afternoon of a little spirit walking with the affordable but potent Taos Thunderbird, which they claimed had been rolled between the then very much alive thighs of Georgia O’Keeffe.
Awwwweee, daddy’s little mule.
Hmm. I hadn’t thought to use them for peyote…
Happy Birthday, Satchel!
It does give new meaning to ‘cute as a button’, however…
Aren’t poems supposed to rhyme? I mean, strictly speaking, think of the classics:
“There once was a man from Nantucket …”
How much does he charge (dollars per foot) to clean the gutters?
Happy Birthday Satchel!!
Say hello to your father’s peyote induced imaginary armadillo friend….
You forgot the picture of Satchel
this cannot be emphasized enough. you don’t think we pay our $0 to come here and not see cute baby pics, huh?
Happy Birthday, baby boy!
It took me three tries to get through that poem without tearing up so much I was blinded. Beautiful.
It’s true! Girls are always in the mood for cute baby pics.
Happy Birthday, Satchel!! You certainly are one lucky little fella to live in such an INTERESTING household.
Happy Birthday!
so, you think he would like to visit texas for a while? rto will be gone soon, and i could use someone that could take care of the lawn.
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuu!.
happy birthday Sach and don’t mind daddy he’s been feeling kinda icky lately.
Don’t worry, Satch, some day you’ll get out of there, and you’ll be able to pretend that daddy was an undercover agent who was never home, and that you actually never met him. As for the sleeplessness, I recommend Trazodone.
Happy Birthday Satchel.
Just think: at three you’ll have mastered the whole Carlos Casteneda series, and explain to daddy how to see his own reaper.
Won’t that be fun?
Don’t feel pressured about the pix, Jeff.
Jesus, he’s two already? Happy Birthday, Satch!
Happy Birthday to Satchel! That nasty little thing with the shell is not a “fluffybunny,” no matter what your daddy says.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!
Oh Kewl, Satchel shares a b-day with my eldest daughter, Jennifer!
‘course she turned 27.
Savor the moments, cuz the youngin’ stuff is very fleeting.
Aren’t poems supposed to rhyme?
Any poem featuring a colonic for that ditz Diaz gets my vote, rhyme or no rhyme …