When I find myself in
times of trouble, Mother
Mary comes to me
— but I tell her to quick,
run and hide!—before the
goddamned ACLU and its
goddamned lawyers find
her and the baby Jesus,
and strangle them both
right where they fucking
stand!
Search
Archive Calendar
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ||||
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |
Archives
Categories
- A Government That Can Force You to Buy Health Insurance Can Make You Do Anything (3)
- a protein wisdom philosophy primer (3)
- academics (25)
- armadillo (8)
- Friday Fiction 100 Word Challenge (51)
- from the protein wisdom conceptual series (136)
- identity politics (33)
- If Republicans Win the Senate in 2014 (1)
- in which celebraties comment on current events (67)
- language / intentionalism (88)
- legal (6)
- My brief conversations with inanimate objects (130)
- NSA / FISA (46)
- One Term to Serve, the 2012 Revival (6)
- Overheard in a Fallujah bunker (27)
- Poems from 196x, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brauti (27)
- protein wisdom's DNC coverage (30)
- protein wisdom's RNC coverage (29)
- protein wisdom: the movie Lists (20)
- Provocateurism (16)
- real-time empirical observations (51)
- red pills found behind the sofa cushions (42)
- Scenes from my driveway (61)
- Talking back to 80s music (41)
- The Martha Stewart Chronicles (58)
- The protein wisdom interviews (10)
- The protein wisdom original poems (142)
- Uncategorized (20,046)
- Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged (34)
Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
I’m glad I like to eat paste.
Well, i’m sick of all this christmas crap! Us ‘net demons want equal time for Walpurgis Nicht, and AntiChrist-mas and Satanalia!
I believe some of the intellectual force of this post may be somewhat dissipated by your slip of the tongue regarding the whole “name in vain” business.
Oh– and don’t think the crafty Jew King didn’t think of killing that wily Jesus first.
So you see, it really is all just the Jews.
Got a Christmas card from my favorite lefty pal today that said “Happy Holiday” on the front, and inside he wrote, “Just doing my part in the “war on Christmas.” HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Brat.
This is good. It’s no Talking Bowties or Trip to Payless Shoes or Schwarzenegger’s Cat, but it’s good. I like how you’ve taken a Beatles song, which has never had any Christmas connection, and knit it seemlessly into the “ACLU hates Jesus and his Mommy” thing.
Hear them scream,
Shout our screed,
Cut their throats and
Watch them bleed…
Shout out Happy Kwanzaa,
Watch them bleed…
HA! “The War on Christmas Poem” is one of my favorites so far. Exquisite.
Merry Fucking Christmas, Jeff!
Somebody should advise the Ghost of Clement Moore—and whatever other trolls wander by—that they are becoming part of the joke.
Or not.
Well played, sir!
I can’t think of anything to post, I just want to use this name.
“We three kings of Orient are,
Let’s go out and get f@#$ed at a bar”
I admit I only remember the first line…
I wonder where I’ve seen this before?
Jeff, STOP READING MY MIND!!!!1!!
TW: “paranoia”
What, exactly, is THAT supposed to mean!?
Where is that kid’s daddy? Deadbeat.
Let it fucking be
You ought to hear my version of “The Long and Tortuous Athiestic Road through the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals”
“Strawberry Fields Would Have Been Forever, Had Not You Fucking Rethugs and Your Fucking SUVs Poisoned the Earth”
I am the Balrog.
boop boopadoo…
Ric wins.
How can you laugh
When you know I’m broke at Christmastime?
It was twenty months ago today,
Howard Dean taught the Left to play
They’ve been going in and out of style
But they’re guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you
The act you’ve known for all these years,
Noam Chomsky’s Twisted Logic Band.
We’re Noam Chomsky’s Twisted Logic Band,
We hope you will enjoy the show,
We’re Noam Chomsky’s Twisted Logic Band,
Sit back and let your freedoms go.
Noam Chomsky’s Twisted, Noam Chomsky’s Twisted,
Noam Chomsky’s Twisted Logic Band.
It’s wonderful to be here,
It’s certainly a thrill.
You’re all a bunch of neocons,
We’d like to let al Qaeda know,
We’d love to help them grow.
I don’t really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
That the Left is going to sing a song,
And you’d better all dance along.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Hillary
And Noam Chomsky’s Twisted Logic Band.
Okay, let me amend my earlier statement.
GODDAMNCHRISTMASHIPPIES!!!!!!!!
“Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.” –Mac & Katie Kissoon, 1971
Mine was pithier.
Regards,
Ric
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I need a lefty
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Not just any lefty
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Y’know, I need a loon
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
All we are saying,
is give Jeez a chance.
I’m middle-aged, an agnostic “yearner” in the Robert Penn Warren tradition, and this year I bought my first plastic Jesus, Joseph, and Mary lawn ornaments.
BECAUSE OF THE ATHEOCRACY!
TW “saying,” as in I’m just…
And what,
In front of my wondering eyes did surprise,
But a Deposed Sea Monkey King,
And a Gay Cock of Lies,
I was always partial to Hey Judas.
Jim Carrey was on Conan O’Brien’s show a day or two ago, and Conan laid some nervous, weasely “holiday season” crap on him. Carrey got visibly, honestly pissy about the spineless evasions, and shouted at us all to have a “Christ-y, Christ-y good time!” this Christmas.
I’m not a Christian (at all), but I appreciated Carrey’s annoyance (and so did Conan’s audience). It is absolutely infuriating to be told “Happy Holidays,” because it’s impossible for “Happy Holidays” to be a sincere offer of goodwill.
For each and every one of us, it’s Christmas, or it’s Hanukkah (though I don’t know any Jews who give a crap about Hanukkah; I had to look up how to spell it), or it’s Kwanzaa, or it’s some fake-rebellious pagan shit, or it’s just another few days in the snow. There’s not one single person on the face of the earth for whom it’s actually The Holiday Seasonâ„¢, so anyone who says “Happy Holidays” is just a smarmy brainwashed asshole who needs to be sworn at.
Rememberâ€â€
Smarmhole: Happy Holidays!
You: My black ass.
Yeah, you’re not black, but you’re lying to a liar, so who cares.
Merry Thursday!
The Ballad of Jesus and Yoko
Christ you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They’re gonna crucify me….
… which would just be fuckin’ typical – that fucker Herod tried to do me in when I was a nipper then me mam fuckin got run over by a fuckin’ p’liceman when I was fourteen and me Dad had already fuckin’ fucked off and only fuckin came back when I was famous so I had to live with Auntie fuckin Mimi in a big posh house in Woolton. Then they didn’t want me so they made a fuckin’ star – and even then everybody wanted to do Paul’s songs because he was fuckin’ cute…I’d rather have been a fuckin’ carpenter – at least that way you get to hammer the tacks instead of getting hammered by tacks…meessig a meesig, I bedsa nothin…dib dib…
(apologies to Jan Weiner’s Lennon Remembers…)
As my friend Lou says, Merry Christmas, and enjoy the birthday of the worlds favorite Jew…..
We all live in a non-denominational secular politically correct world view driven social model.
A non-denominational secular politically correct world view driven social model.
A non-denominational secular politically correct world view driven social model.
A buddy of mine sent this info in an email yesterday, which promted me to send a simple sincere Christmas card to the ACLU.
Fun with the ACLU
Want to have some fun this CHRISTMAS? Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD!
As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN, card to brighten up their dark, sad, little world. Make sure it says “Merry Christmas” on it.
Here’s the Address—just don’t be rude or crude. (It’s Not the Christian Way you know.)
ACLU
125 Broad Street
18th Floor
New York, NY 10004
Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn’t know if any were regular mail containing contributions. So spend 37 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone. Also tell them that there is no such thing as a Holiday Tree …it’s a Christmas Tree.
And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!
Hm. I don’t mind “happy holidays.” It’s not like it’s a new phrase, either.
But I do like the idea (this one is Dennis Prager’s, I believe) of simply wishing the other person a happy whatever-you-celebrate. That way, you don’t have to spend time trying to guess. So the Christian would say “merry Christmas,” and the Jew would say “happy Hanukkah,” and the neo-pagan would say “have a good solstice.” No muss, no fuss.
But some people simply aren’t that religious, and aren’t they entitled to celebrate good old-fashioned capitalism, and the fact that some parts of the world have snow and stuff, and the traditional creation of light in what is often a very dark season? So, happy holidays.
Supposedly Happy Holidays is a contraction of Happy Holy Days or some such.
So they’re not totally anti-Christian, although they may not know that.
A friend of mine goes out her way to email me such variations on the greeting such as Merry Xmas, WIshing you a Merry, Merry…etc. You get the idea. It’s just sort of odd that this particular person, for years running now will never simply say Merry Christmas and I know for a fact she has a problem with religious people….except Iraqis who are Muslim…she just wants them all to revert back to living in a totalitarian prison state. Feel the love, the universal humanity.
I know this is a late comment, and I know no one’s probably listening, but there is no religious content to “Let It Be”.
McCartney’s mother was actually named Mary
This isn’t an ID argument is it, Jay?