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Because I’m determined not to start the day off with a post on the NSA domestic “spying” story

From the Weekly Standard‘s “Scrapbook,” 12/26:

Former President Jimmy Carter, in an interview for the January issue of GQ magazine, reveals how, on the recommendation of then-CIA director Stansfield Turner, he once authorized a psychic to make targeting decisions–while “in a trance”–for America’s satellite surveillance system:

GQ: One of the promises you made in 1976 was that if you were elected, you would look into the [UFO] reports from Roswell and see if there had been any cover-ups. Did you look into that?

Carter: Well, in a way. I became more aware of what our intelligence services were doing. There was only one instance that I’ll talk about now. We had a plane go down in the Central African Republic–a twin-engine plane, small plane. And we couldn’t find it. And so we oriented satellites that were going around the earth every ninety minutes to fly over that spot where we thought it might be and take photographs. We couldn’t find it. So the director of the CIA came and told me that he had contacted a woman in California that claimed to have supernatural capabilities. And she went in a trance, and she wrote down latitudes and longitudes, and we sent our satellites over that latitude and longitude, and there was the plane.

The Scrapbook figures this woman is probably no longer alive. Otherwise they’d have found bin Laden by now.

Sure.  Not to mention it’s a safe bet that giant killer swamp rabbit who bumrushed our 39th President wound up in a pot of Rosalyn’s stew, one of it’s giant killer rabbit feet neatly cleaved and clipped in perpetuity to Billy’s naked lady keychain.

God bless the Dark Prince and his earthly minions for their powers of second sight.

19 Replies to “Because I’m determined not to start the day off with a post on the NSA domestic “spying” story”

  1. Patricia says:

    So, finally, we have a means of intel the Dems approve of.  Is Shirley MacLaine available?

  2. That’s so funny! Or maybe we could consult with the astrologers that ol’ Nancy Reagan used to use to plan her confused husband’s schedule.

  3. Sinner says:

    WHAT??? no NSA update?

  4. Vladimir says:

    Lefties tell me the “Dark Prince” was Strauss.  Any thoughts on this Jeff?  A case of Billy Beer to you if you’ve got an essay on the man.

  5. shank says:

    Goddamn if that’s not the biggest bunny I’ve ever seen.  Swims too!  I’ll be a pig in a poke, boys.

    You think maybe we could send an army of those suckers into the Afghani-Kashmir region, lasers mounted on their heads like those government dolphins; to flush bin Laden out of the caves?  Damn army of those big bastards would put the urge to piss in just about anyone.

  6. tongueboy says:

    Hey, the truth is out there. So when you are truth-seeking, Why Not The Best?

    But this revelation does not erase Undeniable Truth #1: Jimmuh was The. Worst. President. Ever.

    or Undeniable Truth #2: Jimmuh is The. Worst. Ex-President. Ever.

    Sorry, Jimmuh.

  7. BumperStickerist says:

    to be fair to Jimmy, anytime you’re in a canoe and you notice that something is nearby, in the water, and swimming at you, the appropriate action is to beat the living hell out of it with a paddle and then make an identification.

    It’s funny in retrospect, but ex-post facto / hind-sight stuff isn’t

    Had Carter put a knife between his teeth, jumped over the side and killed the rabbit, he’d be a retired two-term President and we’d be talking about President Fritz.

  8. Or maybe we could consult with the astrologers that ol’ Nancy Reagan used to use to plan her confused husband’s schedule.

    Truthy unwittingly points out the difference in how these stories are handled: every-goddamned-body knows Nancy (not a member of the government) Reagan consulted astrologers. Yet how much attention will Carter’s official use of a psychic get?

    Which do you find more troubling? The irrationality of someone with no official power, or the irrationality of someone trusted with the Red Phone?

  9. BumperStickerist says:

    , or the irrationality of someone trusted with the Red Phone?<i>

    Commisioner Gordon was the most rational person on the planet.

  10. Boner of Zion says:

    Judging by the documentary footage I’ve seen, Carter uses the same “just go into a trance and know stuff” technique to certify dirty Third World elections.

    Anyway, the CIA is a well-known sucker, happy to give millions to any psy-huckster who conjures politically useful visions, so the only reason to doubt this story is because Jimmy “Go Ask Alice” Carter says it happened.

    It’s hard to imagine him not lying.

  11. mojo says:

    I knew you were gonna say that…

  12. Phone Technician in a Time of Roaming says:

    Besides, as far as I know, Nancy’s irrationality about astrologers affected Reagan’s schedule, not his actual decisions. At any rate, I’ve never heard anyone assert otherwise.

  13. B Moe says:

    Nevermind the disturbing nature of the story itself, what the fuck does it have to do with Roswell?

  14. Sigivald says:

    Might it have any relation to the alleged (or maybe admitted, I haven’t paid enough close attention to sort out the conspirazoids from the reality, and I’m still to lazy to try right now) CIA experiments with “remote viewing” back in the 70s?

    (Hey, the only way to be absolutely sure it’s BS is to try it in lab conditions and watch it fail…)

  15. Ace says:

    That party is not a serious or credible alternative to the American electorate.

  16. Cardinals Nation says:

    I can never and will never take another single thing that man says seriously.  He and his ilk criticize Bush for being out of touch?

    When will this sad nightmare called the Democratic Party end?

  17. xj says:

    Ah, Jimmuh. I’m told that back in 1980 some Reagan supporters used the slogan, “Why not an actor, when we’ve had a clown for four years?”

    TW: based, as in “Remind me again why they call it the reality-based community????”

  18. Scape-Goat Trainee says:

    I can never and will never take another single thing that man says seriously.  He and his ilk criticize Bush for being out of touch?

    When will this sad nightmare called the Democratic Party end?

    I glanced at Jimmy’s newest tome of trepidation in Borders the other day while waiting on my coffee. VERY light reading about how we should all be wringing our hands over the dreadful ways the country is falling apart morally due to a Republican being in charge. If only we had someone in charge with high morals, like say that golddigger John Kerry eveything would be fine I’m sure. I used to think Carter was a pretty decent guy who maybe was just a highly incompetent leader. Now I see him more as the drunk uncle that always shows up unwanted at family reunions although nobody actually had ever sent him an invitation.

  19. McGehee says:

    The fact is, Jimmy Carter just can’t get over the fact he’s only history’s second most famous carpenter with the initials J.C.

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