—Well, I’m afraid we’ve run into a bit of a snag. Seems the little guy scored tickets to a special critics’ screening of Munich— Spielberg’s lengthy meditation on Mossad response to the 1972 Olympic Park murders of 11 members of the Israeli Olympic team—then came home, strapped himself with “explosives,” and tried to “take back” the last three slices of my sausage and green pepper pizza.
Luckily, what he thought was Semtex was really just flour, water, egg, and a little bit of food coloring—so when he detonated himself, all that happened was that I wound up with a surprisingly nice croissant, and he wound up with second degree burns on his belly and claws—along with a week’s worth of extra chores for, y’know, being such a little Zionist-hating prick.*
I imagine there was a little butter in there, too . . .
Most likely. Whatever it was, it was damn tasty.
Was it a kosher sausage?
BECAUSE OF THE ORTHODOXY!
{/not Jewish}
SW: they secretly run Pizza Hut, don’t they?
What does a suicide bomber do when they fail? Do they get so depressed that commit themselves to a long productive life?
Well, at least he knows how to run the vacuum cleaner, moody little bastard that he is.
STOP THE BLOODSHED, ZIONISTS! RESPECT THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS!!!
Mmmm…quagmire of blood…
Was the food coloring red, Jeff? Did he “inadvertently” make a red croissant?
He really is a little Zionist-hating prick, isn’t he?
Just spent the evening on a Studio City street corner counterpicketing MoveOn. Funnier than South Park… but I’ll trade ya.
Fortunately, no one taught him the difference between Semtex and Semolina. Just be careful the next time you let him use the pasta maker.
Why not just call the little slave on the half-shell Pozzo and be done with it?
Good one, Gamer.
Did his clip-on bowtie survive?