yin: “Why doesn’t Hollywood write meaty roles for mature women? I mean, don’t men ever get tired of watching nothing but perfect twenty-somethings with perky breasts and no real depth prancing around in expensive designer clothes?”
yang:
yang: “Please tell me that’s a trick question.”
You left out the pause for the disbelieving gape…
SB: farm
marlin perkins
Heck far, I’d alot druther watch ‘em prance ‘round nekkid!
BECAUSE OF THE SEXISM!
God I love this country.
Sheesh, next yin will be asking, “Does this make me look fat?”
No trick. Watching forty-somethings with deep breasts and no real perk dragging around in clothes from the local mall is FAR better.
Youthists!
Hey, come on. How many Marg Helgenbergers can there be in this world…?
…and yang will answer ….”You betcha”…. and an off stage voice will chirp ….”In the time it takes you to pull out the hide-a-bed you could be saving……
Funny. It does seem older women have to be portrayed as “empowered.” I hear that writers out there are really young now, too young—despite their passion for pushing attitude change—to understand older women, who could be shown grappling with recreating a love life and how they tend to defeat themselves at that, while younger women could be shown as the poor-judgment dummies they so often are.
Well, there’s always Diane Lane…
Yeah, that stairwell scene in Unfaithful, made her beg for it….
Anyway, I forgot to mention, related to this topic, that I have started a TV newsbabe contest over at my place in a shameless attempt to get some traffic; so click my name and have a go.
I am an old man and so tired of ‘perky’ breasts.
Just go and be ‘perky’ somewhere else, on your own time.
And take your owner with you.
I understand the love of perky and nubile depthless prancing.
My beef is that it is too often the Jessica Albas of the world screen-mating with the Michael Douglases. It is the great male/female entertainment inequality.
If my husband gets to see nubile prancing, I want to see it too. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I value depth and maturity any more than you do.
Oh, they definitely do equal-opportunity nubile prancing nowadays–Keira Knightley or the gal from Spiderman with the elf from Lord of the Rings–and Jessica Alba with Mr. Rum, Buggery, and the Lash from Horatio Hornblower–but I personally find those pairings rather disturbing. They look like something out of a eugenics program, or a poodle breeder’s kennel. Not to mention that it’s hard for any straight pairing involving Orlando Bloom not to look like a lesbian couple.
That, and they always make the huge mistake of giving Jessica Alba actual lines of dialogue.
– I too am long in Le’ Cuspe’…. I suppose thats why anything about the waist is “perky” too Me…..Actually I much prefer a woman to a girl…. But thats probably just an affectation of age…..
(Goldstein, if you think we don’t see through the thinly disguised veil of anti-MoDo posts that you’ve been issuing with regularity as of late, we’re blonder than we thought you are)
Michael: Track 2. (Although, the entire CD is a good one; if off topic)
Well alex, perhaps we could get around the eugenics portion of our program by having each nubile prancer pair with a mature deep thinker. I will even take an entirely gratuitous prancing scene if it serves to balance the film.
Alexander: the Director’s Cut, for example, showed Rosario Dawson’s naked breasts and and Colin Farrell’s naked balls in entirely seperate scenes.
Which at our house, made it the perfect family movie.
Now, Jeff…
Is that really the kind of world you want Molly growing up in?
tw: wish –
Doesn’t make it so.
I humbly remind you, sir, that the term “MILF” didn’t even exist until this generation.
Perhaps there is cause for cautious optimism.
A. You are trying to be funny.
B. You are a homo.
No post on the lesbo cheerleaders!?
Yea your gay! Not that there is anything yada yada yada ………..
Isn’t mixing Seinfeld jokes some kind of crime?
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!!!!!!!
“I like to eat paint chips. Seriously.
Just thought I’d share.”
So, in that case, I’m going to go with Dutch Goldstein
…short for Dutch-Boy.
…what!? It’s requisitely multiculti in it’s unique combination of both Irish and Zionist-Neocon-Chosen peoples, is referent to Jeff’s personal philosophy and combines the the masculine menace of Chicago gangsterism with the solid accounting skills of Ernst & Young!
what’s not to love, bubuleh?
Um, the previous should’ve been posted here
still funny, though…and, yeah,
perky breasts-a-go.
I for one am damn tired of teaching those young “nubile prancers” the art of sexual ectasy. I’ll take the mature woman who already knows. Sorta cut out the middle man.
Paid my first visit to “Hooters” recently. Traffic being slow, my perky young waitress sat down to talk with me. After 5 minutes of twenty-something conversation, I just wanted to read my magazine and watch sports.
Gimme some sag, a Marilyn Monroe tummy, a smile, and smarts.
TW “member,” as in will make mine remember.
You should have tried talking to her hooters. Their IQ is significantly higher than hers most likely. Plus they stare right at you the whole time.
Let’s talk about the perkiness of Nicole Kidman. I mean, there’s one woman who has managed to hold onto perkiness far longer than most.
The Interpreter sucked–but Nicole Kidman looks better than ever. I think even my girlfriend is sort of atracted to her.
So, yeah. Perky. Nicole Kidman. Hubba hubba. And she’s, like, 37 or 38. So, not only do you get the perky, but you can take the moral high ground, too.
I’ll say it:
Sex with young ladies (legal, of course) is FUN.
Sex with experienced, mature ladies (within reason, of course) is GOOD.
There’s a difference. Not incredibly unlike a comparison between Pizza and Steak, or between Beer and Wine.
Heh, probably the most important thing I learned in college.
Of course, there is that unfortunate contradiction between “perky” and “significant amounts of mass.” Unless surgery is involved.
And some guys are fond of mass.
I stopped being perky at 17, but no boyfriend of mine has ever minded.
– Well it wasn’t the pony dance AG, but charmingly sweet in a different way. With or without shaved legs….
– Personally I think Goldstein just enjoys watching us discuss tits….
– which reminds me… Whatever happened to that “Breaking News” rotating flashing nipple we were promised ages ago…
Using “meaty” and “women” in the same sentence is just so typical. (That last one is for when Molly happens.)
Jeff, I really find this whine of yours silly – Hollywood does write meaty roles for women.
Its just that the roles always go to Robin Williams and Nathan Lane.
ROBIN… oh that hurts… jack and coke shooting out my nose.
Definitely agree on the whole lesbian scenes… orlando or jude and any attractive girl looks sooo good, until you see the hint of an adams apple on the guy. How much better would pirates of the carribean been if it had been performed by the TopCats of Carolina Panther fame??? A HELL OF A LOT BETTER, that’s how much better!
Robin: You left out Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, and I do shave, Bang–may I call you bang?
I can even show you pix, if you like–though no pony dance. Of course, I’m depressingly clothed. And outrageously–and happily–married.
Wizened Women: longest breasts
Most Beautiful Women Better Able to Carry Men’s Progeny: perky breasts
And, Z- Nicole Kidman hasn’t grown a child or two or three or four in her belly. Of course she is built like a crayon still fresh in the box.
Wait…
Does this mean I still need to feel a little tiny bit of guilt?
Damnit, she’s older than I am.