Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”
Me: “Uh huh. Say, what do you think of this as an idea for a t-shirt: ’Malformed Victorian Freaks With Enormous Heads (Which Leave Them Susceptible to Suffocation) Do It Standing Up!’”
Merrick: “I AM A HUMAN BEING!”
Me: “Yeah, too wordy. Still, I think there’s a huge untapped market out there for Elephantitis humor, if only we could figure out a way to tap into it.”
IT’S ABOUT THE HYDROCEPHALICY!
Inflamation of the elephant?
I think you meant elephantiasis, which it turns out Merrick didn’t have. Sort of like finding out Lou Gehrig didn’t have ALS.
I think you meant inflammation.
–
–
—
“I am an animal (in bed)”
SB: doing
the nasty
“elephantitis” is the deformed enlargement of the arms, legs, or genitals to huge size, caused by a parasite that blocks the lymph nodes that drain into said areas. It’s typical of tropical climes.
John Merrick did not suffer from elephantitis. He probably had Proteus Syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes excess skin and soft tissue growth, deformed bone growth and progressively bigger batches of tumors to grow all over the Goddamn place.
Get your potential font of humor right, Goldstein.
Nice catch, Chrees. His name, BTW, was Joseph, and not John. Linkage: http://www.answers.com/topic/joseph-merrick. Still, the concept of this series is funny, if not completely accurate. Just the Legacy Media standard of reporting, that’s all.
My Skull is not the only huge bone in my possession.
Or
Yes, I’m weird.
You should be f#cking weird.
TW: member. I’m not even touching that.
Sharkman –
re: Merrick’s first name:
Thus, it’s not unreasonable for Goldstein to come to the conclusion that his name was John, especially since he’s specifically riffing on the movie (“I am not an animal!”), which lists the cast as follows:
That’s not a trunk.
Hey, I still like it and think it has a huge potential for that untapped market. “I’d tap that for…” Nawww. Nevermind.
“Slllurp. Have you ever kissed an open wound?”
“Slllurp. I’m quite good with my mouth.”
Please calm down, Bill from INDC. I’m administering just the tiniest of needles, and meant it in the most collegial way possible, and also was attempting to make a point about the MSM as well. Perhaps my efforts are wasted. The link I provided is more towards what Chrees was commenting on, in that John/Joseph/Cheech/Khaddaffi/EfriamZimbalistJunior Merrick may not have had the disease that is commonly attributed to him. Plus, I just like Googling, rather than working in the early afternoon.
If anyone respects Jeff’s writing and reasoning abilities, it’s me. Hell, I even sent Ted Rall Jeff’s “Ted Rall’s Internal Monologue” via e-mail once and challenged him to respond (giving full credit to Jeff for writing it, of course), but didn’t get a bite from Rall, perhaps because what Jeff wrote was true.
Way OT now, so let’s all just relax and enjoy the huge elephant cock jokes, now, can’t we?
Actually John Merrick, the elephant man, suffered from an extreme case of neurofibromatosis, a condition of enlargement of the membranes that surround nerves.
Hey, how about a frank and earnest discussion of the riots in France/Belgium/Germany? The Villepin vs. Sarko fight? Merkel vs. Schroeder?
You could call it “The Scum Also Rises” to keep in line with the literary ripoff theme…
SB: provided
the state has
Sharkman –
Exactly what about my comment intimated that I’m not calm? I just pointed some stuff out. Calmly.
Untwist your itty-bitty pretty panties, boy.
Keep your patriarchy off of my…uhh…whatever the hell this thing is.
Bill from INDC: I think we can tell from this series of comments, whose panties are in a bunch. Plus, isn’t it a little dangerous for you to call me “boy” when you don’t even know if I’m an AfAm? Lucky for you I’m not, or we could really get started with more boring, yet simultaneously interesting, linguistics discussions.
PS: I think you’re still smarting from a comment I made back in December when you lost your mind fighting in the comments here with Right Wing Sparkle. Unseemly then, and now you’ve gotten all bothered by my comments again. I’m just having fun.
PPS: Commando, Bill-girl, not panties.
How about, “My other trunk is a Samsonite”?
But, he did have Lou Gehrig’s Disease.
– If I had a propeller on My dick like a certain jooo writer I know, I wouldn’t be running around making jokes about other peoples 8 INCH CUT NEUROFIBROMATIC CYST ELEPHANT PENII….
– I thought I told you to wait in the car cyst….
Calm down, Mary. I’m not the one that felt the need to rationalize my abiding love and respect for “Jeff’s writing and reasoning abilities,” as if some dude had just accused me of calling Goldstein a hack.
I believe that I merely pointed out that the casting at imdb and original biographies of Merrick referred to him as “John,” and that’s what set you off on this hysterical bout of vulvar massage.
Now please back off, your sanitary napkin is leaking on my shoes.
Jesus christ, just get a room already you two.
Oh, and Jeff? If you want a shirt that isn’t too wordy, just stick a picture of Merrick’s face on a shirt and fall back on the good old classic, “I fuck on the first date”
No one owns the rights to that one, do they?
Sorry, Adam. Bill from INDC obviously has problems talking without fantasizing about his man-boobs and his upcoming sex-change operation (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Bill: No, you felt the need to come to Jeff’s defense, when he clearly is quite capable of it himself, and I did feel the need to point out that I was just having fun, not really at Jeff’s expense (for the amount of Sucking Off of Goldstein you perform at your blog and here in the comments, though, you’ve got nothing to say about my small comments about Jeff’s writing and reasoning abilities) Bill, I’m having fun, but you, clearly, take yourself far too seriously and can’t argue, it seems, without descending into juvenile, not-funny-at-all pussy humor and assorted other pathetically lame “girl-related” put-downs. [Insert eighth grade c*nt joke, here]. Take a break from your ego for a while and just have fun, like the rest of us.
Can we get back to the huge elephant cock jokes now, and stop entertaining Bill’s massive ego and erectile-insecurity issues? Woops, just descended to Bill’s level with that one.
– Merrick was definately ahead of his time……
Sharkman –
I responded to your comment because there was relevant information about why people (in this specific case Jeff) call Merrick “John.” And I presented the information without much emotion. I didn’t even call you a mean name!
As the record above shows, you decided to project emotion into my response like a caterwauling pink baby pussy.
As far as taking myself seriously vs. having fun, if you’re too damn stupid to realize that I’ve been lightheartedly poking you with a stick the rest of this thread, well … let’s just call that situationally ironic.
PS – And for my part, I never really thought that you wore panties or used a sanitary napkin.
But now I’m starting to wonder …
Careful, Bill. I think he’s a lawyer.
Hey! What did I say about doing that in public?
Won’t someone please just think of the children?
Sorry, Bill. You lost this bout a long time ago. Hang up your tiny little pink jock and go to bed.
PS: What’s with the pedophilia references? “[P]ink baby pussy”?!?!?!?! Not “taking you seriously” or anything, but shouldn’t you seek psychological help just for writing those three words in serial?
PPS: “Caterwauling”?
T-shirt design: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL… but I love it doggie style”
Matching hat: “You think THIS head is big…”
TW: came
saw, conquered
Bill, I can’t be sure but I think Rightwingsparkle may be getting jealous.
[ducks, runs, gets hit anyway]
Sharkman, you’re pushing the envelope on overreaction.
I was thinking “newborn kitten”; odd that you were thinking that other thing. Maybe Bill will come along and clarify.
“Who farted? Nevermind. It was probably me.”
Or
“Elephantitis is the smell of success.”
Slartibartfast: Loved you in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. What are you doing these days, other than overreacting to my overreacting to Bill’s overreacting? Really, if you can look at the things I wrote with the things Bill wrote above, and accuse either of us of anything other than having a good old fashioned flame-war that is meant 99% in jest and 1% seriously, then you need to relax yourself. It’s all in good fun, as I am sure Bill would assure us, with several references to Women’s Sanitary Products and/or Body Parts. That sound you are hearing is me laughing.
I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before:
“Do an Elephant Man- you’ll never forget it!”
Hey, Shark: Bill isn’t here anymore. Which means that what you’re doing right now DEFINATELY shouldn’t be done publicly.
It is, by its natural, a more solitary activity, after all.
Prick…