—well, before you get too excited, I should let you know that the little guy signed on with the Angels as a substitute “Rally Monkey” when their first-string Rally Monkey, “Pierre,” came down with food poisoning from eating spoiled mashed banana off the pocked breasts of some enormous Bronx hooker.
The pay is decent—and the team plane is like an airborn Ritz-Carlton, he tells me—but he hates wearing the monkey suit (which he insists is the animal world equivalent of blackface) and, most of all, he hates “all those miserable fucking peanuts.”
Well, he seems to be working his magic so far, what with the Angels’ 3-0 lead in the first inning.
Could be worse. He could’ve been Mascotopia and stuck watching the playoffs in his underwear….
’Bout now, I’d settle for a dancing Ardolino.
Pierre. Is that some kind of subtle allusion or what?
Subtle?
The guy is devoting his entire site to bad mouthing me. The least I can do is turn him into a degenerate monkey with the shits.
Funny. I thought I saw him legging it out of Hartsfield in an Alabama direction muttering something about “not cutting my fucking hair.” No?
Jeff, I hate your politics. I almost always disagree with pretty much everything you have to say. But as a die-hard Angels fan from the day I left the womb, I appreciate the support.
Go Halos!
Your little guy will do better if you do your kegel exercises—after a while, he’ll feel like he’s not even wearing a monkey-suit in public.
I’m starting to question whether this armadillo really can dance at all.
Uh-oh, mixing ‘dillo and monkey in the same post.
Something awful is going to happen.
I question the timing. It seems likely that a certain pea-coated marine mammal is behind it all. “Squeeeeee-ky clean”, my ass…
One of those strange realizations–I just linked PW to a friend. She sent an IM asking what I was doing, so I answered by saying I was catching up on my reading here.
Then I thought to check just what my friend would see upon arriving here, and this is the top post. And it occurred to me that a non-regular here would have no fucking clue what is being talked about. Not from the comments, not from the post, not from the context, nothing.
I love it.
Jeff
There should be nothing subtle about Pierre, I mean is a arrogant shit aint he?
Is his little tail sticking out of the monkey suit?
Aw now, Jeff. You hurt Pierre’s self-esteem. Time for some blogsensitivity training for you.
Well, he is a little yappy over here, considering he doesn’t allow comments so we can return the favor.
The guy is devoting his entire site to bad mouthing me.
From that old comment thread a ways down, I was more under the impression that Pierre had just decided to graft his entire site onto your comment sections.
Not that it’s not occasionally fun to see what floats to the surface after the silt at the bottom of the bell curve gets stirred up–but this site does attract the darndest trolls.
Has the little fella seen this flick yet?:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0357930/