From the New York Daily News‘ “Lowdown”:
Carmen Electra apparently blurts out the N word during ecstatic moments in the bedroom.
So claims ex-NBA star Dennis Rodman – who was married to the “Baywatch” babe for eight days in the late 1990s – in his memoir, “I Should Be Dead By Now,” due out Nov. 1.
“Take it, n-! Go ahead, take it!” Electra allegedly screamed during their first romp in a Toronto hotel room, in 1998. “This is yours! Yours!”
Elsewhere in his autobiography, the 44-year-old Rodman recounts an acrobatic episode with Electra in the backseat of his Bentley. During the act, she allegedly chatted with another guy in the front seat, bodyguard George Triantafillo.
“George, would you tell Dennis to stop?” Electra complained to Triantafillo as Rodman labored furiously. “I’m getting tired.”
Reached by phone in L.A., Rodman – who’s now married to Michelle Moyer – had only sweet nothings for his ex, who recently pronounced their marriage “the happiest eight days of my life.”
“I agree, if she’s serious about it,” Rodman told Lowdown, magnanimously bestowing his blessing on Electra’s current union with rocker Dave Navarro. “They were meant to be together. They’re small, they’re vibrant, they match up real well,” he said. “I’m happy for her.”
But in his book, Rodman reveals the real reason for a November 1999 marital brawl that drew police to their Miami hotel room and inspired this headline in the Daily News: “ELECTRAFYING FIGHT ENDS IN COUPLE’S FLA. ARREST.”
Rodman writes that Electra had tried to insert a large piece of uncooked penne pasta into her husband while he slept.
Informed of the book’s contents on Friday, Electra was less than amused.
“I am saddened for Dennis that he felt he had to write a book like this,” she told Lowdown. “I think he has me confused with some of the girls he cheated on me with.”
[my emphasis]
Now. Would this kind of behavior be tolerated in, say, Saudi Arabia? Hell nah!
But in Amerikkka, former “Baywatch” cheesecake can stuff you like a slumbering manicotte, and you get a sweet-ass book deal out of it.
And we have the feminists to thank for that!
(h/t Craig Caughman)
Oh, my.
This qualifies as things I really didn’t need to know.
However, since I got the headline’s ref, I was forewarne, so I have no one to blame but myself.
Gives new meaning to “a penne for your thoughts”.
I call bullshit on Dennis. Any man that will wear a dress, dye his hair, get a bajillion tatoos and peircings; but cries like a little girl when the wife brings food to bed is full of shit somewhere. I mean, if you can handle having an 8-gauge rod in your balls or whatever, then a little penne al poopchute is kid stuff. What a poser!
WHAT?
No marinara as a lubricant? How uncivilized…..
“Damn, this pasta tastes like shit”…
Come on, somebody had to say that. Think of it as comment sorbet so you can move on to the really funny comments.
TW: “Aid”, as in “Where is the Chef Boyardee first aid kit?”
Jeff, I suggest scrambling for your hardened nuclear attack shelter located in the far corner of your backyard IMMEDIATELY. Grab the kid and the wife, forget the beer. Do not hesitate, as you are in terrible danger.
Somewhere over the horizon, a howling horde of feminists are prepping a joint fire mission that will result in the saturation bombing of your humble abode with manicotti and tomato sauce.
I can only hope that you have plenty of wine and garlic bread available.
I guess I wont be eating at Rodmans Place in Newport Beach anymore
Not so big on pasta over there in Saudi Arabia.
They prefer rice.
Long grain, if ya know what I’m sayin’.
Nudge, nudge.
BECAUSE OF THE ORECCHIETTE!
(The word is “may,” as in “Thank you, Carmen, may I have another?”)
As I recall, Carmen would yell out the wierdest things during “ecstatic moments in the bedroom”. I never heard the N-word, but then I was never really listening to her. I mean, would you?
Also, for the record, she never tried the pasta thing on me. So Rodman might be making that up.
Still, good times.
I gotta say, Carmen Electra was a lot hotter before we knew all about her extremely poor taste in men.
Oh man – I’m dry heaving over here at this thread. Has to be the funniest I’ve read in a while…
“Penne al poopchute” – priceless
Cheers – DC
The NHL and Augusta National Country Club are WAY worse than some liberated Muslim woman’s issue Jeff.
Oh, and Bill Clinton is still a hero of this special interest group. How’s THAT for irony?
This post brought to you by the letters “T”, “M”, and “I”. And the number “Ew.”
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BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can bet that Dave Navarro is keeping tabs on the Ziti
Think she’s a little full of herself? The guy’s boffing her bow-legged and she’s hollering, “Take it, it’s all yours!” That would seem a little obvious at that point, no?
Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m confused…and a little excited.
That’s so fucking hot!
(I wonder if she’d like Betsy …)
“tried to insert”?
“while he slept”?
the inside of her mind must be a scary place.
*The guy’s boffing her bow-legged and she’s hollering, “Take it, it’s all yours!â€Â*
You’ve um… never had a girl yell that in the heat of passion ?
I think you’ve implied too much…
I can see where “This is yours!” embodies the sort of objectification/ownership nexus you SEXISTS expect from your bimbos. But what’s wrong with “Take it, neopatriarchialist”?
What a little penne in the arse? I mean, mannicotti – that might get ugly.
t/w: “might”, as in the penne is mightier than the sword. (nudge nudge, wink wink)
How come no one has asked if the pasta was cooked or not?
World o’ difference!
… So they say…
Heh. Kinda funny, because I have a noodle I would like to stick in Carmen Electra.
They have blue pills for that now, you know…
Hoodlumman: The emphasized portion does specify “uncooked pasta.”
Now, every time I cook pasta, I will think of the phrase “al-recte,” and will have to over-cook noodles.
And have a mental image of the infamous “spaghetti-slurp” into the wrong orifice.
Those were the happiest eight days of my life.
Any random eight day stretch of my married life has contained more true love than Rodman’s ever likely to know. I pity tha’ fuul…
Turing = various, as in It don’t matter how various a set of personas you put on, if they ain’t nuthin’ underneath.
/whigger
Perversely, this thread made me hungry for pasta. Thanks, guys.
TW: Room. There’s always room for a little penne.
Sometimes you just have to be creative about getting it in there.
I’ve heard that pasta goes straight to your ass, but this is taking that little maxim to a new low.
That said, I’m sorry, guys – a little dry pasta poopery is a small price to pay for the previlege of boffing Carmen Electra.
I draw the line at quatrofromaggio enema, however.
t/w: george. “George, would you tell Jeff to stop?”