Me: “Because let’s face it, man. In the cola culture wars, nobody wants to be New Coke. You know?”
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Me: “I mean, did New Coke ever teach the world to sing? Ever?”
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Me:
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Me: “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
Is it possible for a cola to be so bad it disproves the existence of cola?
and to SING IN PERFECT FUCKING HARMONY, to boot?
I rest my case.
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi I understand. I wouldn’t drink it, but I get it.
Would someone please explain to me, however, why the American public needs a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper?
New coke did teach the world to disco, use dollar bills as drug paraphernalia (what a statement!) and suck dick for crack. Thank you new coke. Thank you
turing sort – I could swear it said snort.
Incidentally Jeff, I’m having more Guinness than you are tonight. Eat my shorts chump!
Further incidental, is the fact that where you to live over here on the east coast, I could be buying you pints right now. There’s this little Irish pub downtown where they even make the clovers in the head of your glass! It’s the little things that count!
Bitch.
The Low-Carb Caffeine-Free Diet Vanilla Cherry Raspberry Blue Tropical Banana Coconut Chocolate Pepsi with Lemon is GREAT!
TW: “new”
when nothing was wrong with the old?
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi: I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi: RACIST.
Certainly. It’s like this, A Fine Scotch: DCVDRP is the best diet soda ever made. We Americans strive for the best, so it was obviously created to meet that need. Nuff said?
Whaddya mean, “RACIST”? After all, it’s not like Jeff called the Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi “articulate.”
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Me: “Stop! Stop staring at me!â€Â
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi:
Me: [monotone] “Yes. Must. Kill. Scott. Baio.â€Â
Hey, I’ve been known to say “Must. Kill. Scott. Baio.” in a monotone, and there wasn’t a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi anywhere near me at the time.
There was, however, a TV showing “Charles in Charge.”
He has partially redeemed himself by his performance as Bob Boblaw in “Arrested Development”.
PARTIALLY.
The existential gestalt of a “Wild” Cherry pepsi can be summed up readily by first understanding (through courageous axiomatic introspection) the sexual-social dynamic of having a “cherry” in one’s “Pepsi,” to coin a metaphorical phrase.
Whenever ones “Pepsi” becomes clouded with the ubiquitous “cherry,” often to the detriment of one’s Chi, the imputation of the declarative “Wild” carries with it unavoidable moral implications such that, in the context of one’s hermeneutical exegesis, ”Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper” becomes the only recourse to resolve one’s pervasive cognitive dissonance.
“Cherry,” now present with the soothing balm of “vanilla”, and yet not forcibly characterized by the contentious appellative “wild.”
tw: started
As in ,why did you get me…
Dude. What is it about you that you can get food to talk? You’re like the Dr. Dolittle of the food pyramid.
Can’t say for certain, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I’m borderline insane.
Borderline?
Well, take it from me, when the furniture starts talking to you, you will have crossed the line.
Not only that? But evidently I got my “ass” handed to me in a “debate” while I was talking to a soda can.
Fuck. Must learn to pay closer attention.
Damn that shiny intoxicating Metallic Fairy.
Perhaps pierre could use a little fun in his life.
Amazingly perceptive soft drink, the Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi – beautiful plumage…
SB: but
Jeff, if that damned Pepsi gives you any trouble, I could use it for M249 target practice. Well, that or I could arrange for a nice A&W Root Beer to pay you a visit…
But Jeff, you unjustly went after SHEP!! And where would news be today without men of such greatness, men like our SHEP!!!!
Wherefore art thou, SHEP?!!
Wild Cherry Shepsi,man.
The entire reason for the existence of New Coke was to have Diet Coke. Diet Coke is the diet version of New Coke, Coke Zero is the diet version of Coke Classic. Which is why Coke Zero doesn’t taste like yak back.
And Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper ROCKS.
Long time lurker, first time poster here. You need to combine two threads, cuz “there ought to be a law.”
There ought to be a law against any and all things “diet.” Especially if said “diet” food item has a nasty aftertaste similar to some sort of sickeningly sweet/bitter volatile organic compound.
Any drink item combining “Dr. Pepper” and “diet” ought to be a hangin’ offense.
– bev
TW “body:” as in, “High fructose corn syrup does a body good.”
Bev, I’m betting you also like mayonnaise.
CHICKENANTIARTIFICIALSWEETENERHAWK!
Abso-stinkin’-lutely! REAL mayonnaise, I might add. Not that faux-mayo-salad-dressing-hack stuff. I’m surprisingly svelte. Mainly because I also like running.
No artificial sweetener war in my name!
– bev
No blood for Miracle Whip!
You people are INSANE. High fructose corn syrup is the devil’s pap. The lack of sugar, and consequent presence of this evil substance in soda, is a fact that I myself have successfully used to convert no fewer than three sugar-deprived geeks to libertarianism. (Viz: bottling plants everywhere but the US use sugar, because it’s cheaper than corn syrup everywhere else. Here, it’s more expensive, for two reasons: restrictions on sugar imports [to cuddle domestic sugar-beet and sugarcane farmers], and subsidies for growing corn. Result: Blehhhh.)
TW: ”When sugar is outlawed, only outlaws will have Old Jolt!”
cherry pepsi is a load of shite.up yours everyone!!!!!