Wow. This guy Aravosis has the “potentially queer” on just about everybody, doesn’t he? And yet, he never has any firsthand knowledge. Oh well. Maybe he just dates sailors.
Anyway, I can’t help but notice how much he likes to trot out the “hypocritical closeted homosexual” charge—particularly against Republicans—an accusation backed up by such pressing evidence as a refusal to admit publically where ones like to pitch one’s meat dart. I mean, it’s almost as if he keeps files on those who haven’t specifically denied enjoying man sex. Just in case.
But don’t you dare compare him to Stalin! Because that’s just, y’know, homophobic crazy talk! From “Hastert to pick Closet-Heterosexual David Dreier as Majority Leader”:
Ok, this is sweet. The Speaker is reportedly going to pick Congressman David Dreier (R-CA), an avowed, well, an avowed nothing, as the next Majority Leader of the House. This is pretty historic since Dreier refuses to respond to ongoing rumors that he’s gay, but even more importantly, I was sitting next to Dreier last summer at the GOP Convention when Mike Signorile was interviewing him, and Dreier refused to answer a direct question from Signorile about whether Dreier was heterosexual.
[My emphasis]
Did he now? Why, how terribly sinister! Of course, most people might conclude from his silence that he thinks his sexuality is none of Mike Signorile’s fucking business — but then, you aren’t most people, are you John?
No. To you, a fellow’s disinclination to talk about his meat packing preferences, particularly against the backdrop of “rumors” you glory in perpetuating, is a tacit assent. Because really, inside every bachelor politician who refuses to talk publicly about his sexuality, there’s a tortured cocklord just waiting for you to throw open the closet door and elephant walk him to FREEDOM!
THE WORLD AWAITS THE GRAINY INTERNET PICS OF REPUBLICAN DAN DREIER’S GAY REPUBLICAN COCK OF INTERIM HOUSE LEADERSHIP, John!
Show us!
Do it! Do it BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!
****
h/t Allah; see also, Rawstory (thanks to outlawdog)
****
update: Missouri’s Blunt selected. Probably to hide David Dreier’s SECRET SHAME!
****
update 2: related thoughts from Robbie at Prism Warden
GAY PORN COCK OF LIES!!!
GAY LIES OF PORN COCK!!!
I don’t mean to throw my heterosexuality in anyone’s face, but does anyone know who the chick in the blue bikini is?
GAY LIES OF POPCORN!!!
GAY CORNUCOPIA OF PIES!!!
Ok – I’m done.
You’re just trying to piss off Jack Grant again, aren’t you?
tw: that, as in That was just irresistable.
TV (Harry)
Blunt and Drier are sharing…
A RECYCLING OF SPOOK
COCAINE FLOGS PORKY
PEACOCK FRYING SOLO
CONCEAL FRISKY POGO
PERKY GOLF OCCASION
LICK ACE FROG SNOOPY
/Dave Barry
So if you don’t openly proclaim you’re heterosexual, you’re actually homosexual ?
For whatever reason, I thought it was the other way around.
RAPES OF PORUPINES AT FIVE!
OR PORCUPINES! WHICH IS EVEN WORSE.
GAY COCKPIE?
I am a single man who lives with a cat, does that mean……
This is the most irksome thing about being out of the closet: No private life!
Even that g.d. armadillo at least has Fridays all to himself, no one knows where.
Wow. “Gay Cal Cock of Interim House Leadership.” I smell an agonized Jack Grant post coming on…
Speaking of which, noted hatemonger Albert Brooks has switched studios after Sony head Michael Lynton told him the studio wouldn’t distribute Brooks’s new film, “Looking for Comedy in the Moslem World,” unless Brooks dropped the inflammatory word “Moslem” from the title.
T/W: “Europe.” Honestly, that filter is better than a Magic 8-Ball.
You know, come to think of it, I’ve never made any public proclamations of heterosexuality…
BJs, anyone?
I live in a room the size of a closet, does that mean…
I’m reading this using Firefox and the Say Anything babe just popped up right in the middle of this post, right after “throw your meat”! Is she testing us?
HYPCOCKRACY!
Uh-oh, Jeff. I think you forgot the legally required Gibbon-like notes and explanation for the terminally humor-impaired demographic…
SB: horse
Oh yeah! And a pony! I demand a pony!
Isn’t Signorile the dick—no disrespect meant to any of you cocks out there—who was behind the ‘outing’ craze a few years ago? Apparently, his idea of a good idea is to force homosexuals out of the closet whether they wish it or not, to force his modestly-sized gay cock of political agenda down everyone else’s throat.
Fuck him.
Don’t these outings violate the CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to PRIVACY?
Dating sailors? Look, just because submarine sailors spend months underwater in the company of nothing but other hairy-chested dudes doesn’t mean there’s any hanky-panky goin’ down, I mean on.
TW: Three, like do you think we could get a three way goin’ on here?
And now they’ve gone and called Drier ”articulate.”
GAY WELL-SPOKEN PORN COCK OF LIES!
And now they’ve gone and called Drier “articulate.”
If he were black, that would be racist.
password: indeed
(I want a “heh”)
Mike Signorile (I guess he changed it from the pretentious Michelangelo) is convinced everyone is gay, in particular anyone who is against gay marriage.
CRACK-SMOKING BASTARD!
Wait; sorry.
Wrong thread.
Personally, I’ve heard rumors that Aravosis practices pyronecrophilia. I don’t believe he’s ever denied it directly, so . . .
Actually, I’ve heard he practices pyronecrobestiality. He hasn’t denied that, either.
tw: behind—he probably does it doggy-style, too.
From Rob A.’s link:
Well then, I guess that explains which strange things were afoot at the Circle-K.
…pitch one’s meat dart…
A phrase that shall live in infamy…darn you, Jeff! Darn you to heck! Why do you keep stealing all the good phrases!
Ahhhh, I understand…it the nature of ‘you people’ to horde, and be sneaky.
It all becomes clear to me now…
…and I bet you are a bunch of damn hoarders as well!
Friends don’t let friends comment drunk…
When are these twits going to grow up?
TW “length” – AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH. ITS A CONSPIRACY!
From the “articulate” article:
“When Republicans turn to Dreier they’re putting their best face forward, because he’s articulate, reasonable and attractive,” said Jack Pitney, a government professor at Claremont McKenna College in Southern California, where Dreier graduated in 1975.
Um. I’d say that’s grounds enough to conclude that Jack Pitney is also gay and has a gay man crush on Dreier. You’ll notice Jack never asserted his heterosexuality anywhere in that article.
Why don’t ya just get married, ya queers?
Oh yeah. ‘Cause of the hypocrisy. I forgot.
Jeff, I think it’s important to remember that Leftist bloggers have full immunity to slag anyone they damn well please with their homophobic garbage because, when they do, it’s only a matter of being ironic, see. They’re not being fag-bashing hypocrites; they’re just [heightening the contradictions]. I’m surprised that I have to explain this to you.
We’re all ignoring a basic fact here.
Americablog sucks.
Dude can’t even create a decent banner in photoshop or anything.
That makes his geek cred pretty damn low in my book.
Your link’s off, guy, but I appreciate the sentiment =)
<a href=”http://prismwarden.blogspot.com/2005/09/politics-of-outing.html” target=”_blank”>
Drier is my congressman. He’s a good guy, but he sucks on immigration. (Ooops. Did I say suck?)
Anyway, I’d do ‘im.
Apparently, everyone has a right to privacy (it’s in the Constituion, doncha know) unless it gets in the way of a good old fashion smear campaign.
Maybe the solution is to have all legislators’ sexual orientation (and/or gender identity) next to their names, before party affiliation: Adam Boi (G, R, GA).
Just a thought.
w/w: added. Spooky.
Umm, for what it’s worth…
That idiot Signorile? I went to HS with him.
I can fucking SHRED his entire first book that made his SCREAMING COCK HIV WARRIOR bonafides, with witnesses to boot.
He claimed he was “in the closet.”
Oh shut the fuck up, Mickey. You were the local quaalude/hits of THC machine. And the whole “Michaelangelo” shit might have been written on you goomba birth cert, but you were Siggy, or Mickey, or The Fag, since you went to PS 52 in fifth freaking grade. (And I have witnesses to you trying it out with girls!)
Everyone knew you were a three dollar bill, and you didn’t get your ass kicked, becuase you got protected. Your trips to Christopher Street always reaped great drugs. What happened to your piehole in the process was irrelevant.
I went ahead and linked this post to Gay John and asked for an analysis of the posters. Here’s the results :
1. rls – Gay
2. Hoodlumman- Gay
3. ChairmanEdog- Very gay.
4. Bmo- BIG GAY BMO
5. Sanityinspector- Duh.
6. Russel Wardlow- Buttpirate
7. Jeff Goldstein- loves da cack
After analyzing these 7 posters in depth (though the guy with the cat was a given), Gay John announced he was spent.
I think each of you has the responsibility to tell your wife/GF/parents of your overwhelming lust for ass today.
TW – Free- You are free my big gay cockloving brothers- embrace the sausage !!!
Some people around here need new hobbies.
Seriously.
Word: lower. “It is theoretically possible the level of discourse here could get lower. In fact, I would bet on it.”
Mikey- this is not discourse. We’re mocking Gay John as well as this ridiculous need for liberals to “out” republicans as gay so they can point out the “hypocrisy” inherent in being against gay marriage but craving dick. Inside, we’re all gay, right ?
Also, since you don’t particularly care for the discussion on this site, Juan Cole has a site you should visit- I suspect the discourse there would be far more suited to your sensibilities.
TW “top” – sooo can’t make that up.
“Maybe he just dates sailors.”
Didn’t have anything to add, being a happily heterosexual man with a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters (DENIAL!!), but this line stirred a memory.
Had a visit from some Marine aviators to coordinate a flyover for a funeral. I became concerned that a (previously modest, shy, soft-spoken) co-worker was going to cause one of the Marines uniform pants to burst into flame, so intense was her gaze. “Geez, just ask him for a date,” was my reasonable suggestion.
“I don’t date Marines,” came the reply that is seared, seared into my memory. “I just fuck ‘em.”
tw: writing, which is close enough to “writhing” that I’m willing to “out” it, just on principle.
Rick
I won’t believe these allegations that Drier is gay until Geraldo’s moustache starts talking about doing him in prison. Because I prefer to get my news straight from the bigote’s mouth.
The America Left is vicious. Bloody vicious.
No wonder the Left has made alliance with Islamic-fascism, they are woven from the same cloth.
“Because really, inside every bachelor politician who refuses to talk publicly about his sexuality, there’s a tortured cocklord just waiting for you to throw open the closet door and elephant walk him to FREEDOM!”
This is what I was talking about yesterday. This is just brilliant; you won’t find a sentence like this anywhere else. The highlight, of course, is “tortured cocklord”. Man, it doesn’t get any better than this.
Matt Esq.:
Man – read that comment of mine carefully. Again. The word thing was a joke,. play on the submission word that appears at the bottom of the post. It was all tongue-in-cheek. (Wait, does that sound too gay…?) It was a joke. A. Joke. (Mind you, not a good one, but still…)
I am well aware of what level of cruel, deserved mockery is being done to the people Jeff posted about. I know mockery, I went to a public junior high school.
Word: almost. “Somedays, I am almost witty.”
And as for suggesting that I go to Juan Cole’s site, well, pal you can go piss up a rope. I don’t hang out with fascists or their apologists and Cole is one of those, a totalitarian worshipping, liberty hating (but I repeat myself) shill for any hate-America cause or group that comes down the pike.
I rarely pop a gasket at anyone, but I’m coming pretty close to it right now.
Word: club. “I’m mad enough now to club cute, furry baby seals.” (Man, this word generator is spooky…)
Lets see – first you note that clearly I have misinterpreted you (I’ll remind you that tone and inflection do not always translate on a message board) and now you’re going to blow a gasket due to an apparent mistake in my interpretation?
Ok, new suggestion, since you didn’t like my last one- either switch to decaf or start popping prozac.
Or were you just being sarcastic again ? Maybe your sense of humor is just too dry for me to “git” ?
No, the “pop a gasket” is to the suggestion that I should hang out at the site of someone who excuses the actions of, and supports the continuation in power of, people who received their ideas of leadership from the likes of Hitler and Stalin.
I think you can understand why that might tick me off a bit. And yes, sometimes my sense of humor is a little dry.
Word: groups. Okay, this is really getting way too weird even for me.
I’M NOT THAT BIG!
It’s just since I quit smoking I have had a little setback.
And I must confess I don’t really live with a cat exactly, it is more like my apartment is the occupied territory of a Feline Imperialist.
B Moe: We will support your glorious insurgency against the hated neo-con Felinist occupier and assist you in driving the hated catsader into the sea. Or the sink. Whichever is closest.
Word: and. And I really can’t think of anyway to use this one. Any ideas out there?
B Moe,
I can bring over my Husky; she likes cats – they taste good.
Maroons
Big Brother: We have always been at war with Felis Silvestris Catus.
Good sweet PIE, how to dump the rsponses from my inbox?
“feet”?
I gotta type “feet”?
Get out of Dodge!
*We will support your glorious insurgency against the hated neo-con Felinist occupier and assist you in driving the hated catsader into the sea. Or the sink. *
See, now that, I laughed at.
Seriously, sorry mikey if I misinterpreted you ) Juan Cole tells me he has no place for humor at his site anyway…
Catsaders in Sinks!
I’m just here for the fun stuff…can I play, too?
GUILESS PORK OF YORE!
Away for months at a time underwater? The submariners call it sea-pussy.
Matt. Sorry, I got a little twisted there. I usually don’t.
No hard feelings?
Nope, none at all- my fault all around- us secretly gay married heterosexuals need to learn to laugh at ourselves a bit more =)
“And I must confess I don’t really live with a cat exactly, it is more like my apartment is the occupied territory of a Feline Imperialist.”
“B Moe: We will support your glorious insurgency against the hated neo-con Felinist occupier and assist you in driving the hated catsader into the sea. Or the sink. Whichever is closest.”
Hilarious! Both of you! I laughed so hard my thoroughly subjugated canine servant fled the room.
So…..ummm….what exactly is wrong with doing it doggy style?
Individual gender/sexual preference wouldn’t mean so much to anyone but for the homophobic and the wacked religious right.
Very well done Ian – you do turn a phrase…I rather like that.
Susan, you’re misinformed and apparently an idiot as well. And just like my calling you an idiot was generalized based on your statement – so too was the baselessness of your comment which was based on nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I’m a little confused by this whole thread. Is drunkenness a prerequisite for browsing this website?
DICKSLAP!
Oh… I see. Excuse me, I have to go and give my Shih-Tzu a bath.