You know, when you stop to think about it, she’s really passing judgment on you…
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Well, we ALL know what this argument is about for both parties, Jeff, and I can safely put an end to it right now. Yours is indeed bigger, Jeff.
Well, sure. But can it dance?
And anyway, this is about you, the reader. Leave me out of this playground bullshit.
“existential outsourcing”, heh.
i really can’t get too worked up about it until i get my hoodie.
I’m thinking of having some pw hoodies made.
On the front it would say, “What, you’ve never seen a hoodie before? Buzz off, you nosy bastard.”
And on the back:
Jealousy is the highest form of…leftist thinking. Pretty deep, huh?
WHO WANTS HOODIES?
I’m offended at her implication that scurvy isn’t funny.
Scurvy-colored hoodies, yes. Which, that’s periwinkle, right?
actually, since i live in texas i’d probably only get to wear it like two days out of the year. so maybe a tank top?
Oooo, high concept! How imaginative.
Actually, I think you rated at least a zucchini. At the very least. Maybe an eggplant.
no, at least a rude shaped turnip.
Clearly I’m at least part beet.
But then, this is not really about me, is it?
take your pick of:
COCK!
BECAUSE OF THE HIPPOCARCY
not that there’s anything wrong with that
I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!
Scurvy is hilarious. Just think, if it weren’t for scurvy, we wouldn’t get to call the British “limeys”.
I’ll worry about it when people start actually reading her blog. Hell, I have a bigger following than she does, and that’s saying something.
I also have bigger boobs. So there you go.
My one consolation is that the silly ass has no sense of humor. Totalitarians seldom do.
I like ‘Because of the Hippocracy’ myself. At least, it’s clean.
‘I am not an animal’ Now, that might work if we got beekeeper helmets or wedding veils or hijabs or something like that.
I’m tryin’ to think here….
HOODIES? OK, but there’s gotta be a ‘dillo reference somewhere.
I’m having trouble finding that unsourced “boobs” attack credible. This is the internet, you know. We expect to draw our own conclusions based on independent inspection of the subject material. Topless blogger pictures should be the standard in the industry by now. It’s worth repeating: this is the internet, you know.
Hey Jeff, your red pills posts collection is missing one.
I agree with ss.
I’m afraid it doesn’t show the boobs as well as you might like, but there’s <a href=http://littlemissattila.mu.nu/archives/023283.php>this.</a>
No topless pix, for your own protection (my husband’s armed).
And then there’s the issue of why we aren’t seeing more male bloggers pictured on their own sidebars in muscle shirts. Just saying.
t/w: police. As in, I wanna join the morality police, ‘cause I hear it’s a Federal job, with bennies.
That is a classic case of a question which answers itself.
Trust me, no one wants to see a picture of me with my shirt off. Or in a muscle shirt either. Unless a lot of airbrushing is involved.
Which, I guess, is exactly the point Beck was trying to make. Most of us are not pretty enough to be on display.
I’ve never understood why I should care what idiots think of me.
Does that make me arrogant?
I’m one male blogger who isn’t afraid to show off his tits!
I disagree with that girl—Jeff is funnier than socks.
Except argyle socks. Those things are just fucking hilarious.
I certainly think you are funnier than iceberg lettuce. I don’t know about scurvy. Scurvy can be a knee slapper. It was in a funny line on Rocky and Bullwinkle once. Keep up the good work.
Sharp as a Marble,
That was cruel.
The reason you won’t see a picture of me with my shirt off is, I can’t afford Photoshop.
Some friends of mine wrote a comedy sketch once called “Uncle Scurvy” that was pretty damn funny.
Hmmm. I could put up a picture of me with my shoes off. Because I actually own some argyle socks…
You know what were funny? Those socks that had little toes in ‘em. And, they came in rainbow colors. Now THOSE were funny.
Hey, nobody told me there would be fellating. I’ve been blogging for two years and there has been no fellating, no inappropriate touching or even a suggestive come hither stare. The best I’ve gotten was a quick diverting of the eyes followed by the sound of quickly departing footstep and that was from my wife.
Oh, and yes argyle socks are funnier than Jeff. And those big honkin’ goiters on old ladies that are too gross to look at but you can’t help yourself? Also funnier.
The rainbow socks with the toes are only funny if worn in conjunction with really tight denim shorts and the Mork from Ork suspenders.
McGehee, I’d be happy to Photoshop a picture you could be proud of for only a small fee. The larger the donation, the smaller the man-boobs.
You know, if she ate the lettuce instead of laughing at it she wouldn’t have gotten scurvy.
Yikes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you got under her skin.
Thersites is a he (top photo).
When we go to other sites like that, they always call us stuff like “Jeff’s minions,” but I just want it known that I feel more like one of those flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz.
Can we start throwing feces now?
You’re kidding right? That’s him?
No, really…
That’s the guy from the Ditech.com commercials.
Quit foolin’.
Woo did you see that panel?
I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS! If there was such a thing as heaven, that is what it would look like.
Iceberg lettuce = funnier than Jeff?
What does that make mesclun, baby spinach, or cole slaw, especially when pre-packaged and ready to serve? Maybe funnier than the love child of Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield? Hyuck Hyuck.
Word = Great, as in: Great is the expectation of the salad eaters.
Yeah, Sarah.
‘I think the best part about it was that we didn’t have to censor the way we said things. These were people of a like mind on many things. If they disagreed, so be it. No problem. However, we mainly agreed on most ideas and that is how futuristic plans are made and laid.’
I’ve seen sharper criticism by Dave Navarro.
What a horribly-written piece of second-rate snark that is. I was just wondering: Could she possibly use a few more clichés? DMV? Socks for your birthday? Did she accidentally delete “White People Dancing?” For originality, that post ranks somewhere between “Apprentice: Martha Stewart” and Friday the 13th 9. I have to go now and delete that site from my history, cache and cookie files.
TW: “life”—that site would think it the height of comedy to say: “Get one!”
I considered leaving a snarky remark on that thread, but I thought it would be too much like dunking a basketball in the Fisher Price plastic hoop over a five year old’s head and then whooping it up and talking smack.
Too easy and kind of demeaning. For everyone. Best to let them enjoy the afterglow from their confab. I hope a good time was had by all as their “futuristic plans” were “made and laid” in a place that “looks like heaven” if such a place existed in the left wing universe.
Hoodies. We must have hoodies for the minions/myrmidons/flying monkeys.
My personal favorite? A “scurvy” colored hoodie with a tasteful slogan on the back (I DROWNED PUPPIES UNDER ORDERS FROM KKKARL ROVE’S SECRET BRAINRAY MACHINE…….AND ALL I GOT FOR MY TROUBLE WAS THIS LOUSY HOODIE) and a little “dancing ‘dillo” logo on the right breast for the front.
TW – “many”, as in: I have MANY more of these ideas, but you’d better start writing fast….before the thorazine kicks in.
We’re scared now, they said Jeffy was unfunny! And what a deep well of humor is Thersites’ blog! With posts like “Thursday 5-Year-Old Soccer Blogging” and “News Today”, I think it’s safe to say that we have uncovered a comedy goldmine! Wait, is that SNL I hear a’knocking? Let’s all be sure to bookmark Theresite’s blog for our daily humor pills!
I would absolutely buy that shirt, Russ.
I demand hoodies for Citizen Journalist minions!
And matching gold chains!
Come on Jeff, admit that you would take the lettuce in a heartbeat, provided that its
produced in a socialist/government plantation, is highly taxed, is overregulated, approved by “greenpeace” with an FDA label.
Call it a new brand “moonbat lettuce”
Ditto
If it is SNL knocking, then it’s a sure sign that it isn’t funny. At all. Like SNL.
TW: ideas – As in, “Mr. Michaels has run out of ideas.”
Jeff,
First of all you have to be flattered by the obvious attempt on the left, to somewhat poorly I might add, to imitate you. It would be a first for the moonbats to come with an orginal idea or a sense of humor that was truly theirs. How pathetic….
I can’t believe it. She’s a guy.
Thersites obviously didn’t take the time for an in-depth look at the site. I’ll admit it’s sad rather than funny pointing out how incredibly lame and pathetic the idea of EschaCon is, but Jeff’s union solidarity songs alone are funnier than itchy wet socks at the DMV. By the way, Thersites? If you are attending “fill in the blank”-Con then there’s no getting around the fact that you are indeed a groupie. Non-groupies have better shit to do than travel about to conventions.
I think the linked comment thread has given us the pefect t-shirt or hoodie slogan:
On the front:
PROTEIN WISDOM
And the back:
If there was such a thing as heaven, that is what it would look like.
You know what would be funny? A bunch of M.C. Escher fans showing up at EschaCon and finding themselves very confused and disappointed.
To avoid any confusion next year, might I suggest DunCon?
I want a hoodie with Jeff’s picture (the one with the beard) and it says underneath the picture..”PW…The Cat Stevens Years”
I’ll take it in Pink please….
JG,
Don’t dismiss that criticism too quickly. Apparently that iceberg lettuce has a pretty wide fan base, and it seems to be a broad-minded vegetable. Maybe you could attempt a few conversations with it and gain a few humor tips, get an idea of the material it uses to appeal to the other end of the political spectrum.
Try the lettuce before the scurvy. All its humor revolves around self-hatred, slapstick, and limey jokes. The limey jokes could be useful, but scurvy keeps forgetting the punch lines, and it has a nearly impenetrable accent.
HCT
I’m probably more to the left on the political spectrum than Duncan “Atrios” Black, and despite this I’ve had a good three-year blogging friendship with Jeff Goldstein.
When I first started blogging, what really freaked me out was that people of different ideologies were supposed to hate each other by default, or at least that’s how it seemed to me. However, I found as many assholes on my ideological side of the spectrum as I found on the other.
Jeff was always very friendly with me, and this was despite some knock-down, drag-’em-out ideological arguments between us. At the same time, he linked my weblog frequently and helped me get hits early on when I was a huge nobody–which I remain, but that’s another story.
Jeff’s satire and humor is biting and sometimes offensive, but that’s pretty much the model Voltaire laid out for all of us two hundred years ago. Being a social critic is not for the polite and weak-kneed among us. Most of my work is just as biting and offensive as Jeff’s.
What makes Jeff cool in my opinion is that he is always willing to extend a friendly hand if you do the same with him. He’s a huge smartass, yes, but he’s not some wacko holed up in his basement with a cache of automatic weapons and homemade bombs waiting to kill everyone who disagrees with him. I can disagree with a guy like Jeff on damn near every subject, yet I could sit next to him at a bar and down shots with him any time.
So much of the ideological acrimony in the blogging world is pure theater. There are plenty of people on both sides of the political spectrum that I’d love to kick around like a hackey sack because they are so vile and repugnant; I’d say 80% of the commenters on Eschaton and Little Green Footballs fit that bill.
Jeff ain’t one of ‘em.
However, I would pay a ton of money to see Jeff and Michael Moore in a mud wrestling death match. My money’s on the tub of lard, but never count out the son of “Butch” Testo.
You’ve never been to his house, have you?
Granted the ‘radish-grenades’ probably aren’t as effective as he thinks.
One of Thersites posters said:
Still living in November, 2004, are ya? You do know that the political process continues after an election, right? And that Chimpy’s at 36% approval and dropping, and 38% think his response to Katrina sucks worse than anything has sucked before (including the skanky whores that might deign to give Protein Witless head)?
I suspect Lancelot Link will improve his approval ratings in time for his 2008 reelection bid.
Words simply cannot express how disappointing it is to find this out.
I’m not going to compare following, but I am pretty sure I have the biggest boobs, on me and reading me.
Words simply cannot express how disappointing it is to find this out.
Fret not: I hear he an impressive collection of Samurai swords and 2×4 àla Buford Pusser; however, I hear he uses that to beat off his groupies.
[slow burn]
Jeff, what the hell did you do with all those automatic weapons and homemade bombs I dropped off with you last June?
You are so irresponsible!
Spam word: “time” as in, “This is the last time I trust you with my ordnance stash. I’ll bet you ate up all the Sudafed I left there too.”
I’ve never been so insulted in my life.
Well, ok, there was that one time in Wichita, but I was like, totally blasted, man. And I was using an alias at the time anyway, so I figure that doesn’t really count, y’know?
Where was I?
SB: already
I hear he uses that to beat off his groupies.
Nah, it’s just too easy.
SOOOO..He is a she, but still has boobs.
Interesting.
mat,
I’d pay good money to see that wrestling match too.
Ya think we can work it out?
*I still want my pink HOODIE!!
You know those cute little sweaters people on put on their dogs? I want a PW hoodie one, that says “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!” And on the bottom, near my dog’s weenie, it can say “Citizen Urinist” or maybe “BECAUSE OF THE —>>”.
Periwinkle, certainly; 2nd choice: cornflower.
For those of you who don’t know who “Thersites” refers to, peek here.
It does explain why he is so ill-tempered and humor-impaired.
Okay, Voltaire’s is bigger than everyone here’s. Happy?
Atilla, your husband is a lucky man. I would be heavily armed if I were your husband too just for that reason.
Though I’m fairly sure my man-titties are bigger than your woman titties, but I couldn’t tell from the picture.
Who the fuck is that pissant, anyway? And that pic of her/him/whatever it is…Jesus. How sad.
I’m thinking you’ve unfortunately made this his Best Day Everâ„¢, which is also pretty sad.
Kyle, that link says everything you need to know about the moron! hahaha
TW: total, as in total waste of good linky love, Jeff.
Who does Goldstein look like the most?
Mat – definitely A, although a good BeeGee’s pic would have worked too.
Serpico!
Totally unrelated, but since the thread is about humor, this made me laugh.
Is anybody fact-checking these boob- and dick-size accusations? This is completely irresponsible CITIZEN JOURNALISM. I demand a public inquest! The public has a right to know!
Mat, I’ve got to go with Pacino, but only because I hate that Pina Colada song and I refuse to allow it to pop into my head every time I see Jeff’s sidebar.
Damn, I should have remembered that. You have to love his hanging that moniker on himself though.
Thersites appealed to the Greeks (whom he insulted as fools and women) stop fighting and go home, arguing that the only purpose for Agamemnon continuing the war with Troy was to make himself richer. Following that outburst, Odysseus whacked him.
So there you have it. Perhaps the earliest example of SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER and CHILLING OF FREEDOM TO DISSENT.
Jeff, you had this guy pegged. I can imagine him hanging out with his friends in college brimming with stoned fervor at his dazzling epiphany: “So, you see man, like, Thersites is the REAL hero of the Illiad because he stood up to the MAN and that fascist Odysseus beat him down. Got any more of those brownies?”
Glen
If you haven’t been back to the post referenced above, you really need to go back for some serious unintended comedy.
I re-checked it.
So, I’m guessing no hoodie for my puppy.
On the plus side, I see my “JeffG-Monster Truck” thing is catching on. Wish I’d thought it through, though …