17 Replies to “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, 8”

1. William says:

   October 14, 2013 at 1:38 pm

   Uh, just tell the waiter you’re not going to pay. Don’t they always have to do what you say? That’s always happened to me in the past when I did paid, therefore it should happen in the future when I don’t!

   Q.E.D. suckas!

2. TaiChiWawa says:

   October 14, 2013 at 2:07 pm

   Barack Obama: “You’ll buy what I tell you to buy!”

3. Squid says:

   October 14, 2013 at 2:26 pm

   I’m pretty sure we’re not allowed to call it “red” wine any more. On account of the rAAAAAcism!

4. TRESPASSERS W says:

   October 14, 2013 at 3:11 pm

   So, it would properly be Native American wine, Squid? Or North American Aboriginal wine?

   I can’t keep up with the label makers.

5. Squid says:

   October 14, 2013 at 3:22 pm

   Can we make a football team called the Napa Wineskins?

6. dicentra says:

   October 14, 2013 at 3:27 pm

   First Nation “except for the European scull found in the Pacific Northwest” Wine

7. palaeomerus says:

   October 14, 2013 at 7:03 pm

   “First Nation”

   Yeah Canadians make some good wine if you can get past the French on the label.

8. palaeomerus says:

   October 14, 2013 at 9:52 pm

   Well I bought a Marlin 795 at Academy.

   The counter guy gave me some gentle grief over mychoice. ” It’s a cheap bum with a really nice barrel.” I thought he’d be all ‘Ruger 10/22 has way more after market mods and their factory 25 rounders are the best’ but it turns out that he was a Remington 597 fan.

   He made me promise to at least buy a lighter pull trigger kit with a real-metal trigger guard eventually. And some tech-sights. Class ‘er up a little he said.

9. palaeomerus says:

   October 14, 2013 at 9:53 pm

   And soon they shall be given by cruel boating fate unto the house of Poseidon. Or possibly Tlaloc.

10. cranky-d says:

    October 15, 2013 at 6:06 am

    Lakes are more plausible I think, but I guess you could have been shark fishing and wanted something to finish them off with.

11. palaeomerus says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Poseidon has been demoted to administration of still inland bodies of freshwater since they gave Obama the Ocean Lowering job. Nereids now run estuaries as regional coops.

12. Slartibartfast says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:18 am

    Barack Obama: “Why not both? Hell, make it two. Or 4! Just make sure you put it on a credit card. After all, it all just goes to the WH expense account.

13. geoffb says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:22 am

    Lakes don’t always work.

    The Belgian Corporal
    by Neal Knox

    In the summer of 1955, I was a young Texas National Guard sergeant on active duty at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. A corporal in my squad was a Belgian-American named Charles DeNaer. An old man as far as most of us were concerned, being well over thirty, Charley commanded a certain amount of our respect, for not only was he older than the rest of us, he had lived in Belgium when the Germans rolled across the low countries by-passing the Maginot Line on their way into France. He had seen war.

    One soft Oklahoma afternoon, sitting on a bunk in the half-light of an old wooden barracks, he told me his story.

    In Charley?s little town in Belgium, there lived an old man, a gunsmith. The old man was friendly with the kids and welcomed them to his shop. He had once been an armorer to the king of Belgium, according to Charley. He told us of the wonderful guns the old man had crafted, using only hand tools. There were double shotguns and fine rifles with beautiful hardwood stocks and gorgeous engraving and inlay work. Charley liked the old man and enjoyed looking at the guns. He often did chores around the shop.

    One day the gunsmith sent for Charley. Arriving at the shop, Charley found the old man carefully oiling and wrapping guns in oilcloth and paper. Charley asked what he was doing. The old smith gestured to a piece of paper on the workbench and said that an order had come to him to register all of his guns. He was to list every gun with a description on a piece of paper and then to send the paper to the government. The old man had no intention of complying with the registration law and had summoned Charley to help him bury the guns at a railroad crossing. Charley asked why he didn?t simply comply with the order and keep the guns. The old man, with tears in his eyes, replied to the boy, ?If I register them, they will be taken away. ?

    A year or two later, the blitzkrieg rolled across the Low Countries. One day not long after, the war arrived in Charley?s town. A squad of German SS troops banged on the door of a house that Charley knew well. The family had twin sons about Charley?s age. The twins were his best friends. The officer displayed a paper describing a Luger pistol, a relic of the Great War, and ordered the father to produce it. That old gun had been lost, stolen, or misplaced sometime after it had been registered, the father explained. He did not know where it was.

    The officer told the father that he had exactly fifteen minutes to produce the weapon. The family turned their home upside down. No pistol. They returned to the SS officer empty-handed. The officer gave an order and soldiers herded the family outside while other troops called the entire town out into the square. There on the town square the SS machine-gunned the entire family?father, mother, Charley?s two friends, their older brother and a baby sister.

    I will never forget the moment. We were sitting on the bunk on a Saturday afternoon and Charley was crying, huge tears rolling down his cheeks, making silver dollar size splotches on the dusty barracks floor. That was my conversion from a casual gun owner to one who was determined to prevent such a thing from ever happening in America.

    Once the State knows what you have they don’t forget.

14. palaeomerus says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:35 am

    They sort of tried that in Serbia a while ago. Didn’t work out so well. There are ex-stasi in Germany still in hiding for fear their ex-neighbors might pay them a nigh visit. Romania lost their taste for the iron hand.

15. sdferr says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:43 am

    So I guess Billy didn’t excuse himself to go to the can, there to root around in the toilet water-tank for to retrieve a snubnose 38.? Ah love . . . and the things it will permit.

16. palaeomerus says:

    October 15, 2013 at 8:53 am

    If you don’t reward surrender eventually you’ll have to fight to the last of everyone you meet and you won’t be treated well when you try to surrender.

17. palaeomerus says:

    October 15, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Colo-Gov Hickelooper asks that gun control groups please stay far away from upcoming recall elections please….PLEASE.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2013/10/14/colorado-gov-hickenlooper-suggests-gun-control-groups-stay-away-from-recall/2969257/

    He’s swallowed enough anchors and now he needs to swim.

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