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“Colorado Democrat Says Self Defense Is ‘Absurd’ and ‘Frivolous'”

How ridiculous is this notion that one carry a fire arm for “self-defense.”  The truth is — and we all know this — you can’t protect yourself from hardened, predatory criminals, many of whom are, well, you know — dangerous and aggressive minorities.  Best to just shit yourself and hope the stench drives them off.  Or, if you’re being raped, tried to pee on your assailant.  On the off chance you can’t reach your rape whistle, naturally.

But defending yourself?  Who would ever dream of such a thing!  I’ll tell you who:  Hillbilly wannabe soldiers, white TEA Party militia-types and their swole, nasty biker women, that’s who!  Ugh. How gauche.

Want protection?  Let them eat state-funded bodyguards!

Dana Loesch:

Colorado’s House Majority Leader Dickey Lee Hullinghorst slammed self defense in a recent interview, calling it “absurd” and “frivolous” […]

Hullinghorst made no mention of Colorado’s famous case Castle Rock vs Gonzales which went all the way to the Supreme Court and established that law enforcement (in this case, police in Castle Rock, Colorado) have no legal obligation to protect your life.

Well, why would she even have to?  It’s clear that once you take the guns out of the hands of citizens, gun crime goes away — and then there’s no real need for all this hypermacho self-defense non-sense.

I mean, shit. What’s the wort that can happen to you? You get rounded up and put in gulags, or spread like mulch around killing fields, or wind up the smokey flavoring in a giant German pizza oven?

How absurd. How frivolous!  And besides, if you really need protection, Dickey Lee Hullinghorst will be happy to throw her 130 lbs of squat elderly fury in between you and your assailant.  Provided the two of you make an appointment first.

Remember: in cases of self defense, “statistics aren’t on [your] side”.

Which is precisely why I don’t get baseball:  batters failing 70% of the time are rewarded with multimillion dollar contracts, when what they really should be doing is giving up entirely, the odds being so stacked against them each time the come to bat.

Absurd and irrational. And frivolous.  Mustn’t forget the frivolity.

18 Replies to ““Colorado Democrat Says Self Defense Is ‘Absurd’ and ‘Frivolous'””

  1. sdferr says:

    Dickey aims to kill us with her prions lack of a brain, bolstered by a magnificent sniveling voice. Die, auditors, die.

  2. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Social Imagination of full display there; self-defense is absurd and frivolous because the statistics say so. You sub-humans

  3. Shermlaw says:

    It’s funny how the people who always poo-poo the idea of self-defense also always seem to surround themselves with big guys with guns.

  4. Pablo says:

    “I have the right to not carry a gun and to feel safe on the streets.”

    When were we endowed with this right to feel the feelings of our choosing?

  5. geoffb says:

    Dickey hearts Philly.com I suspect.

    PROPOSED AMENDMENT: “Because a well-regulated National Guard and Reserve, and well-regulated Federal, state, and local public safety departments, are necessary to the security of our free states and our free nation, the rights of citizens, while serving in their capacity in the aforesaid organizations, to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

  6. Squid says:

    I’m not stopping her. Let her feel as safe as she wants to.

  7. eCurmudgeon says:

    I’m not worried these days so much about “gun crime” as I am having the very will to live sucked from by being by Ms. Hullinghorst and her ilk…

  8. McGehee says:

    Creutzfeldt-Jakob is more common than these doctors suspect, I suspect.

  9. Apparently Joe Biden is a little extreme. Majority Leader Hullinghorst advises to just go outisde and yell “Bang!” twice and criminals will slink away.

  10. RI Red says:

    The underlying problem is that voters actually elected her and her ilk and keep doing so. The ultimate cure for such stupidity is rather final.

  11. dicentra says:

    This is nonsense.

    I was assured that the democrats were not gun-grabbers.

    This story must therefore be from The Onion.

  12. nashvail says:

    Yesterday the Vail Daily published the LATimes cartoon that was blatantly false about Conservatives. There are a crapload of fucking liberals here, all driving Rovers Lexus and Beemers. fucking hate them.

  13. McGehee says:

    the LATimes cartoon that was blatantly false about Conservatives.

    You might want to narrow that down…

  14. palaeomerus says:

    “Remember: in cases of self defense, “statistics aren’t on [your] side”.

    Trayvon died, Zimmerman almost fried, and statisticians lied.

  15. palaeomerus says:

    “This story must therefore be from The Onion.”

    Our planet now orbits the Onion.

  16. palaeomerus says:

    Self Defense nuts are anti-math!

  17. bgbear says:

    So, that propose improved second amendment would let cops have nuclear weapons? That will stop Walt and Jesse for good.

Comments are closed.