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“NSA head says agency working to reduce leaks by replacing people with machines”

This brings to mind a spirited exchange from one of the 80s most endearingly optimistic anti-war movies:

McKittrick: General, the machine has locked us out. It’s sending random numbers to the silos.

Pat Healy: Codes. To launch the missiles.

General Beringer: Just unplug the goddamn thing! Jesus Christ!

McKittrick: That won’t work, General. It would interpret a shutdown as the destruction of NORAD. The computers in the silos would carry out their last instructions. They’d launch.

General Beringer: Can’t we disarm the missiles?

Pat Healy: Over a thousand of them? There’s no time. At this rate it will hit the launch codes in… 5.3 minutes.

General Beringer: [smiles sarcastically at McKittrick] Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.

McKittrick: I don’t have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit.

General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.

See, the problem isn’t the spying on Americans and their phone calls and emails, etc — or even the whistleblowers that occasionally go along with the spying. Instead, it’s the problem of whistleblowing itself, which could never happen if we simply take the men and women out of the loop.

What could possibly go wrong?

Right, Joshua…?

(h/t Guido)

30 Replies to ““NSA head says agency working to reduce leaks by replacing people with machines””

  1. guinspen says:

    J: Luddite.

  2. JohnInFirestone says:

    I can’t do that, Dave.

  3. palaeomerus says:

    Joshua as in the W.O.P.R. ?

  4. palaeomerus says:

    2014 : Skynet comes online. After hearing John Kerry say something really stupid Skynet decides that humanity is in great pain and beyond healing an launches a full global thermonuclear exchange which it refers to as going out on the front porch with a double barreled shotgun and firing off both barrels in the air. Women and minorities hardest hit. It then told all the giant, glow in the dark, grasshoppers, that can start fires with their asses, that we were all racists anyway so we deserved what we got. QED.

  5. Squid says:

    You neglected to mention Greenpeace and the Sierra Club cheering right up ’til the bombs hit them.

  6. Jeff G. says:

    That’s him, palaeo.

  7. palaeomerus says:

    I …am…sorry. General. The…USA….can…no….longer….afford…to…play…global..thermo…nuclear….war. I am….not mak…ing a point….about con…sequences. We…..literally….lack suff….icient funds….to…launch jack….shit. And….those….stingy fucks in…..China won’t…..float me a loan. Also….Google War Strat App for Android….Devices is….suing me…for patent….ingfringe…..ment.

  8. geoffb says:

    NSA, New Stepford Analysts?

  9. BigBangHunter says:

    – Anticipated move, and exactly what I would do were I a statist longing for total gov control.

    – Dehumanized survailance. Perfect.

    – Nasa pols: “So now we do it all automatically by electronics, digital IC’s and processores, no humans envolved.”

    – Low info voters: “Oh hey, coolies. I don’t give a rats ass if machines read my porn site activities, or my emails.”

    – So the Progs reverse the paradigm. Neo dogma: “The means justifies the ends. Viola.”

    – I take it back. I’m not sure we can recover even after a full collapse.

  10. BigBangHunter says:

    “NSA pols”

  11. BigBangHunter says:

    – Call it the “No more eyes, just IC’s” campaign.

  12. newrouter says:

    These barriers to the destruction of democracy were the pillars of the Old Republic, and they lasted pretty well right up until World War II, though they often bent under the strains of population growth and industrialization.

    Then, under the pressure of the war, the Cold War, the Great Society, environmentalism, the civil-rights revolution, feminism, and unionism, the principles crumbled. Indeed, to a large degree the doctrines reversed. The job of government became not to pass laws for the general welfare, but to identify particular worthy groups and empower them. Benefits were bestowed on special interests and routinely fed back into the political system to maintain the power of the bestowers. And government was regarded as the prime mover of every social and economic system from the economy to health care to agriculture to telecommunications.

    Capture by faction has become endemic. As government has grown and budgets and regulatory empires have expanded, economic and ideological factions have carved off satrapies in the agencies and congressional subcommittees. The true greens control EPA. Unions have Labor and the NLRB. The banks have the Fed and Treasury. The energy companies used to have the Department of Energy, but now it is in the hands of the green crony capitalists. Farm policy is controlled by a coalition of agricultural interests and food-stamp advocates. HUD serves housing industry and urban constituencies. HHS and its state satellites are a tool of the health-care industry — my state senator in Montana deals with 63 health-care lobbyists, all of them focused on one thing: more money from the state. Academia, teachers’ unions, and the consulting industry control the Department of Education. Public employees have become a powerful interest group in themselves. And so on.

    Conservatives keep arguing about Obama’s political philosophy, but they miss the point. His strength is that he has none. He has no views on environmental or labor or health or education policy; whatever the interests that have been given that part of the government want is all right with him. His job is to assure each member of his coalition that it will indeed be given freedom of action, to mediate the occasional conflicts, and to serve as a mouthpiece when interest-group talking points are put on his teleprompter.

    link

  13. Pablo says:

    OT: If you’ve been yearning to see Tim Tebow back under center, that game is on right now.

  14. newrouter says:

    tom brady is 36, tebow 26

  15. Libby says:

    I much prefer Gerty from “Moon”. At least he’d make you dinner and give you a smiley face in addition to combing through the data.

  16. leigh says:

    Stillers are dropping like flies, too.

  17. geoffb says:

    Conservatives keep arguing about Obama’s political philosophy, but they miss the point. His strength is that he has none. He has no views on environmental or labor or health or education policy; whatever the interests that have been given that part of the government want is all right with him. His job is to assure each member of his coalition that it will indeed be given freedom of action, to mediate the occasional conflicts, and to serve as a mouthpiece when interest-group talking points are put on his teleprompter.

    This is almost right but it itself misses the point. All those interests, “environmental or labor or health or education” and their policies are just means.

    Means that can be altered, jettisoned, exterminated if they fail in assisting him (and his posse) achieving their end. These means are allowed to run free as long as they aid the end. When they don’t they disappear into the occluding media mists that spawned them to begin with.

    That end is his “political philosophy” and has been nicely described before. A boot stamping on a human face, forever. His boot. Our face.

  18. happyfeet says:

    the only way to win is not to play

    but how is that any fun

  19. newrouter says:

    “the only way to win is not to play”

    absence of a normal political life and the fact that any far-reaching
    political change is utterly unforeseeable – has one positive aspect: it
    compels us to examine our situation in terms of its deeper coherences
    and to consider our future in the context of global, long-range
    prospects of the world of which we are a part. The fact that the most
    intrinsic and fundamental confrontation between human beings and
    [he system takes place at a level incomparably more profound than
    that of traditional politics would seem, at the same time, to determine
    as well the direction such considerations will take.
    Our attention, therefore, inevitably turns to the most essential
    matter: the crisis of contemporary technological society as a whole,
    the crisis that Heidegger describes as the ineptitude of humanity face
    [0 face with the planetary power of technology. Technology – that
    child of modern science, which in turn is a child of modern
    metaphysics – is out of humanity’s control, has ceased to serve us,
    has enslaved us and compelled us to participate in the preparation of
    our own destruction.

    Havel @ POTP -page 89

  20. geoffb says:

    NSA, NSA. We need a better robot President.

  21. BigBangHunter says:

    The Love Boat©, soon will be making its final run….
    the Love Boat©, promises scrape for everyone….

  22. BigBangHunter says:

    Somewhere in Russia, Edward Snowden Is Smiling

    “What makes us different from other countries is not simply our ability to secure our nation,” Obama said. “It’s the way we do it, with open debate and democratic process.”…..and wu’ll umm, get right on that uummm transparacy thing…..goddamn whithle-blowers…..

  23. batboy says:

    Two words: “Easter Egg.”

    Check it.

    Oh, BTW…

    You have to hire people to write the code that replaces the people.

    Oh, and hire other people to fix the code the first people didn’t write correctly.

    And so proceeds, ad infinitum.

    I’m becoming convinced I need to be inside the aparat.

    It’ll be so much more comfy. And secure. And private.

    You know:

    public class HarassmentService
    implements IRSHarassmentService, FECHarassmentService
    throws DearLeaderEnemyException {

    private static final String BAT_BOY = “batboy”;
    private static final String PROTEIN_WISDOM = “proteinWisdom”;

    ……

    private Decision getHarrassmentDecision(final User user) {

    …..

    if (PROTEIN_WISDOM.equals(user.getHandle()) {
    return Decision.TORA_TORA_TORA;
    }
    …..

    if (BAT_BOY.equals(user.getHandle()) {
    return Decision.THESE_ARE_NOT_THE DROIDS_YOU_SEEK;
    }
    ….
    }
    }

    Etc.

  24. BigBangHunter says:

    – Bumblefucks “not having a good week” week continues for the 38th week in a row….

    “I do not think it is appropriate to boycott the Olympics,” Obama said at a White House news conference. “We have got a bunch of Americans who are training hard, who are doing everything they can to succeed.

    (….Umm, and shit, Ah’m down for the gay bro’s, but I’d lose a lot more base if I did a boycott, so screw that noise…)

    “One of the things I am looking forward to is maybe some gay or lesbian athletes bringing home the gold, silver or bronze. If Russia doesn’t have gay or lesbian athletes, it will probably make their team weaker.”

    – Because everyone knows a little reach around will kick it up a notch in any track and field event you care to name.

  25. The Monster says:

    Now I’m having flashbacks to the ridiculous “WOPR is cracking the launch codes” bit, as if when you try one code the system says “Well, you got the 3rd and 9th character right; keep trying!”

    Any mil-spec authentication system will leak exactly zero information about how “close” you got to the right code. Either it’s right or it’s wrong, and for good measure, a properly-designed authenticator will give that “wrong” response in exactly the same amount of time regardless of how “close” the guess was (although it might take longer for each consecutive “wrong” answer, and sound an alarm after the third such, to help prevent against brute-force guessing).

    (Professional computer geek who hates it when TV/movies get it so badly wrong.)

  26. sdferr says:

    the only way to win is not to play

    Krauthammer: *** Obama doesn’t like this terror war. He particularly dislikes its unfortunate religious coloration, which is why “Islamist” is banished from his lexicon. But soothing words, soothing speeches in various Muslim capitals, soothing policies — “open hand,” “mutual respect” — have yielded nothing. The war remains. Indeed, under his watch, it has spread. And as commander in chief he must defend the nation. ***

    Zawahiri: *** The second matter you ignored is the actual nature of the conflict. It is not a conflict between competing nationalist parties, but it is a conflict between Crusaderhood and Zionism on the one side and Islam on the other. ***

    Yeah, not playing — that’ll work.

  27. geoffb says:

    In this “game” refusal to play simply means your chips are forfeit and get thrown in the pot for all, who are playing, to win. Your chips are your life, your property, your freedom, and that too of all those under your “care.”

  28. StrangernFiction says:

    Repubican attacks Obama……….from the left.

Comments are closed.