Sometimes, if you’re in the proper state of mind, tequila can relax you to the point where you fall asleep near bolt upright, hitting the bridge of your nose on a table edge once gravity catches up to your feat, and then not waking up until hours later, when your wife finds you there on the floor, a small smile having crept across that part of your face not caked in dried blood and what may or may not be pieces of Doritos.
And sometimes, you’ll even dream of a having been on a long space expedition that sees you crash land on a planet where sea monkeys rule and man is enslaved. Except instead of bellowing “keep your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape,” you say something to the effect of, “wait, how in the hell did you guys ever take over a planet without the benefit of working thumbs?”
Thus endeth the lesson.
In the scheme of things tequila, a not-really-broken nose and hallucinations is about the best outcome one could expect.
On the Planet of the Sea Monkeys, opposable thumbs are eeeeevil.
I never trusted brine shrimp, and for good reason.
In related news, Zombie Charlton Heston is available if we can secure the film rights.
At least you didn’t lose clothing.
Ahhhh, one can enhance that effect by consuming a close relative of tequila, the mescal variant – you’ll know it; there’s a handsome agave worm at the bottom of your bottle. Consume that, and a room full of warty beings will cavort with you until dawn, somewhere, just not where you left your body. Trust me on this.
Nocturnal cavortings with warty beings never required mescal nor even tequila for me. They only required that I call my then-girlfriend.
I may have said too much.
A tequila thread and no Leigh?
Something is wrong.
What Blake said. I thought this was going to be a dish on Leigh post.
Squid is wise in the ways of tequila.
But I have done almost the same thing with bourbon, except it was pork rinds.
Here I am, the only honest woman on the planet when it comes to tequila.
I have swum with real live Sea Monkeys. They have teeny black eyespots and undulating cilia, and they were as thick as soup.
Great Salt Lake. That’s where they all come from.
They have teeny black eyespots
I have heard something about “sea monkey do see” or some such epigram.
Take another shot of courage, wonder why the right words never come? You just get numb.
Must have eaten the worm to get visions like that.
Telepathy.
Duh. ;)
Tequila helped me to see the Fnords.
I used to drink it rather frequently, but finally got tired of burping it three days later.
one tequila,
two tequila,
three tequila,
floor.
I can remember as a youth making road trip to TJ for the express purpose of buying tequila.
don’t Forget Harper Lee’s “Tequila Mockingbird”
bgbear, I think that was an episode of “Get Smart.” (yeah, I’m that old)
So you’re saying that if Mormons drank liquor, they could make their own version of mezcal with sea monkeys in it? Mezcal con camarón rather than Mezcal con gusano?
I bought four ounces of brine shrimp eggs once, not fully understanding just how many that was (hint: a lot).
They are amazing creatures.