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Here’s something I very rarely say outside of the occasional itch I get to raze a barn:

“Save us, Amish peoples!”

Americans for Limited Government President Nathan Mehrens today issued the following statement urging members of the House of Representatives to adopt an amendment offered by Michigan Republican Rep. Justin Amash to the 2014 Defense Appropriations Act that would defund FBI and NSA domestic surveillance to collect communications data “if such things do not pertain to a person who is the subject of an investigation”:

“The amendment offered by Amash will defund domestic surveillance under the Patriot Act. We urge its adoption by House members of both political parties. Nobody’s records should be collected unless there is specific investigation into that person taking place for crimes that have been committed and a lawful warrant has been issued by a judge upon probable cause.

“It is time that members of Congress weigh in on and reject these ubiquitous surveillance state that is being built. For more than ten years, this program has operated in secret without any explicit congressional authorization. After top secret court orders revealed that the FBI and NSA were collecting intelligence broadly on every single person in the country, many members of Congress claimed they had no idea just how pervasive the surveillance really was. This is information about everyone, not just those who are suspected of crimes. That is not what the Fourth Amendment says.

“Now members have an opportunity to rein this in before it is too late. They can no longer hide behind the veil of secrecy. This is an up or down vote on whether Congress will allow the FBI and NSA to operate an omniscient secret police or not. The American people cannot afford for members to get this one wrong. No less than the liberty of every single American is at stake.”

Oh, wait. It’s an Amash amendment, not an Amish amendment.   My bad.

— Though I will say that it is a relief, in a way. Because I’m already relying on my Amish conversion — I plan on becoming a “reformed Amish,” which means I can claim Amish religious allegiance while treating all of their teachings and their way of life as utter bullshit, embracing the progress of all the technological advances God wants us to take advantage of, from microwave ovens to state-of-the-art home theater systems, just so long as I own one of them sweet ass flat brimmed hats and maybe wear an Abe Lincoln beard — to keep me exempt from ObamaCare.

And frankly, I don’t want to have to rely on the Amish for everything.  Dependence isn’t really my bag.

Unless maybe it involves butter and pies.  In which case I’m the hardcore Amish’s bitch.  But then, that’s a given.

So. Nevermind.

 

15 Replies to “Here’s something I very rarely say outside of the occasional itch I get to raze a barn:”

  1. Do the Amish do barn-razings too? There are some nasty-looking, falling-down barns around here that could stand to be razed, and then maybe a new one raised in its place…

  2. sdferr says:

    I’ve worked with Mennonites who’re skilled at dismantling (and at times, transporting for re-erection) buildings, from barns to cabins, but I’ve never heard of ’em taking the short route to removals, though I don’t doubt their capacity.

  3. palaeomerus says:

    I saw defund and read it as defend and got all confused until I went back and reread it.

  4. Democrats have been pretty damn good at razing the standard of living.

  5. Caecus Caesar says:

    Razist bastards.

  6. JHoward says:

    so long as I own one of them sweet ass flat brimmed hats and maybe wear an Abe Lincoln beard — to keep me exempt from ObamaCare.

    Well…yes, actually:

    So in the late ’50s, the Amish started their resistance to Social Security. Naturally, they were quiet and reasonable about it. Some put money into a bank account and insisted the government place a lien on it. At least that way, some Amish thought, they weren’t voluntarily paying into the program. Others signed a petition and sent it to Capitol Hill. But, naturally, the IRS paid no attention. The IRS kept insisting that FICA taxes be remunerated…until eventually many Amish just stopped paying.

    The whole conflict came to its climax in 1961 when the IRS went after one of these “delinquents,” Valentine Byler. Long story short, he owed over $300 in back Social Security taxes, so the IRS repo’ed three of his six horses. No kidding. (At one point in this fiasco, Reader’s Digest reported a judge berating the government’s representatives, “Don’t you have anything better to do than to take a peaceful man off his farm and drag him into court?” Apparently not.)

    To the Amish’s credit, they kept resisting the FICA tax, insisting that it violated their 1st Amendment right to practice religion free of government interference. Byler’s story, as you can imagine, was a real hit with the media and within a few years the IRS caved under public pressure. In 1965, the government passed a law that allowed US citizens to opt out of Social Security.

    I’d insist that it violated my Constitutional right to practice life free of government interference, if by interference you mean outright Ponzi fraud.

    But then so is the bankrupt dollar — a fraud on the arithmetic and thus a fraud on constitutional ethics, that is. Of course it’s a good fraud because like all Old Socialism — Social Security, Medicare, government schools, and the welfare State — it serves both Parties just fine.

  7. mondamay says:

    Scribe of Slog says July 23, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    Do the Amish do barn-razings too? There are some nasty-looking, falling-down barns around here that could stand to be razed, and then maybe a new one raised in its place…

    If a barn gets in my way, baby, you know I’ll burn it down
    -with apologies to The Nuge

  8. leigh says:

    The Amish are bad asses. They don’t need the English (that’s us, the non-Amish) for anything except cellphone service.

    Amos is going to have the last chuckle on us.

  9. Squid says:

    They don’t need the English (that’s us, the non-Amish) for anything except cellphone service.

    Well, that and buying their crops, buying their handicrafts, hiring their non-farming cousins to do carpentry and masonry and other construction, and giving them a lift if they need to be somewhere in a hurry.

  10. leigh says:

    They figured out that English are easy marks for handicrafts, many of which include “authentic” Amish stuff from China. Lancaster PA has this down to a science.

  11. palaeomerus says:

    Well in fairness it was the Shakers who made the awesome crafts. Y’know before Ikea came along to make pan head self piercing screws and particle board into something that could pass for chic minimalist 21st century art-loft furnishings.

  12. palaeomerus says:

    Of course I can drive to 4 corners and have real American Indians sell me jewelry made from turqoise from Turkey and pressed Silver alloy mounts from Peru with 80’s European styling. Handicrafts!

  13. John Bradley says:

    In 1965, the government passed a law that allowed US citizens to opt out of Social Security.

    So how does one manage that little trick? I’m self-employed, but not very good at it, and as such my SE taxes dwarf my actual Income Tax.

  14. mojo says:

    We’re also defoliating the Victory garden…

  15. Yackums says:

    Razings, hmm…maybe we should have them tackle Detroit?

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