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My third brief interview with Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito

Me: “So, did you see where Bob Novak stormed off the set of CNN’s Inside Politics today?”

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito:  “Didn’t catch that, no.”

Me: “Yep. Cursed at James Carville, took off his mic, and left the soundstage in a bit of a huff.”*

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “How unfortunate.”*

Me: “CNN suspended him almost immediately.  And now, John Aravosis at AmericaBlog is floating the theory that Novak’s meltdown, rather than simply a reaction to Carville’s cajun henpecking, suggests that ’RoveGate is hotter than we all realized.’”

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “I see.”

Me:  “Care to comment on that?”

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “Well, let me put it this way:  John Aravosis once mistook me for Jeff Gannon’s COCK.”

Me: “He did?”

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “Yeah.  And then he posted an item on his site claiming Gannon’d been spotted humping a table top at Denny’s.  When really that was just me, sitting on a plate, minding my own business.”

Me: “You don’t say.”

Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “The point being, unless the conversation suddenly turns to Appletinis or David Gest, I’d take Mr. Aravosis’ punditry with a big fat grain of salt.”

****

first and second installments

32 Replies to “My third brief interview with Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito”

  1. Bill from INDC says:

    COCK!

  2. Michael says:

    Wait a minute. Are Appletinis gay or something?  Nobody told me.

  3. MC says:

    More sour cream?

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    WHAT DID JEFF GANNON’S COCK KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?

  5. anotherSteve says:

    HOMOPHOBE!

  6. I have this completely radical theory that Bob Novak just had an epiphany that Bullethead was the flaming horse’s ass we’ve all already known.

    Good for Novak.

  7. Tman says:

    JEFF GANNONS GAY COCK: I mean seriously, do I even LOOK like a burrito? Man is that Aravosis stupid…

  8. Michael says:

    I used to like Appletinis, but now I realize they taste aweful.  Just for the record.

  9. Pappy says:

    Remind me never to order a burrito at Denny’s.

  10. Sean M. says:

    A confidential source tells me that the burrito was recently seen enjoying a coconut rum beverage with a man identified only as “Brucie.”

    DIG DEEPER, MR. ARAVOSIS!!!

  11. Beck says:

    Just don’t get caught drinking an amareto sour, Michael.  Oh, and you might want to start going by “Mike.”

  12. edddie says:

    that’s some lame-ass blogging, Jeffy.

  13. CraigC says:

    Salt on a breakfast burrito?? Feh.

  14. Jeff Goldstein says:

    On your way out, Edddddddddie, ask the girl at the ticket counter to refund your money.  Tell her Jeffy said it’s okay.

  15. Matt Moore says:

    That’s some lame-ass commenting, Edddie.

  16. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I think Edddddddddddddie might like this site.  He and the site’s author can have virtual s’mores and virtual hot cocoa and snuggle up together in a virtual sleeping bag to take anonymous potshots at me.

    It’ll be just like they were in summer camp again, only without their underpants pulled up over their heads by the kids who weren’t such total fucking dicks.

  17. me says:

    Is that burrito ‘uncut’?

  18. Matt Moore says:

    Heh, that mightcan guy is funny. His blog has four posts, two dedicated to letting everyone know that he doesn’t understand why they read you (Spelling? I can understand that someone might not get your blog if they don’t have a sense of humor or enough patience to try to make sense of it, but since when have you had a spelling problem?), one with a chick showing her Longhorns panties, and a picture of him having a beer with two buds.

    Fully half his blog is dedicated to Jeff-hate, and one of those posts doesn’t make any sense because he seems to think you want ID taught in science class when you clearly said you did not.

  19. Jeff Goldstein says:

    In the used auto showroom of lefty Jeff hate, Mightcan is that 1979 Caprice Classic with the broken trunk latch that all the 2002-3 Dodge Durangos feel sorry for.

  20. netro says:

    Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito: “Let me put it this way:  John Aravosis once mistook me for Jeff Gannon’s COCK.”

    Not really John’s fault that Karl Rove’s breakfast burrito is leaking pus. If Rove put mayo on his onion bagel it wouldn’t be hard to mistake it for Jeff Gannon’s puckered ASSHOLE.

  21. Matt Moore says:

    Oh, he has five posts. He also appears to hate Ben Stein, but doesn’t really say why, other than Stein is a Republican. Maybe he just hates Jews?

  22. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I’m not sure, but I think netro just came.

  23. Sean M. says:

    Who the Hell puts mayo on a bagel, anyway?

  24. mojo says:

    Somebody who wants to slide their big, hot breakfast burrito into it, I guess.

    Me, I don’t eat at Denny’s. Just so you know.

  25. TerryH says:

    Well, just look at Mightcan’s hero’s: 

    Daily Kos – The King

    Juan Cole – Best …

    Wow!  If Edddddie and netro leave PW and head on over to Mightcan’s, BOTH places will get better.

  26. dtlc says:

    This is the SECOND time. Yes, yes, this happened before.

    CNN BULLSH*T COVERAGE OF KARL ROVE

    Lou Dobbs Tonight Show on July 15, 2005.  Here is the partial transcript.  Mr. Dobbs continues: “ …Rove testifying that he first learned about Plame from columnist Robert Novak, a CNN contributor.  Danna Bash reports.” Immediately after that you can clearly hear a female voice saying “that’s bullshit.” Thereafter Dana Bash begins her report.

    CNN – fair and unbiased – before, now and forever.

    at http://satire.myblogsite.com/blog

    NOTE: THE SITE IS NOT WORK-PLACE SAFE

  27. Helen Thomas says:

    If Jeff Goldstein scoops me one more time with that burrito at Denny’s, I’m going to kill myself.

  28. McGehee says:

    First militant: “Will somebody please ‘do’ Helen Thomas before she dies? I keep having this nightmare where I only get one virgin, and…”

    Second militant: “Yeah? Well I have the same nightmare, but my only virgin is you.”

    First militant:

    Second militant:

    First militant: “Really?”

    Second militant: “Don’t get all mushy, Achmed. Before anything happens you turn into an onion bagel.”

    First militant:

    Second militant:

    First militant: “You know, I’ve been thinking maybe I need to get my own place.”

    Second militant: “You know, I’ve been thinking the same thing. For, like, two and a half years.”

  29. Salt Lick says:

    Damn, McGehee, I had to check you e-mail address to make sure it wasn’t Jeff pretending to be you.

  30. Fred says:

    I go all the way over to Mightcan’s “blog” solely on the basis of an assertion by MM that there will be a photo of a girl wearing longhorn panties.  And she’s kind of big.  Not fat, just a tad chunky.  NOT a Dusty girl, if you know what I’m saying.  Not even close.

    Disappointed.

  31. Jay says:

    Fred,

    Well, thanks anyway, because that means that the rest of us don’t have to go look.  You took one for the team, and we appreciate that.

  32. McGehee says:

    Heh. I’ve always been good at doing impressions.

    Indeed.

Comments are closed.