Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

Convergences:  a protein wisdom Tuesday afternoon riddle

Q: Why did grieving Mom Cindy Sheehan cross the road?

A: To catch Michael Moore a chicken, so that the slovenly propagandist could deep fry the thing in pancake batter and lard, then eat it with a pound of potato salad and a tray of buttered Hawaiian-styled sweet rolls.  The fat, opportunistic bastard.*

(h/t John Cole)

****

updateBaaaaBaaa. BaaaaBaaa. BaaaaBaaa. BaaaaBaaaBaaaaaBaaaaBaaaaBaaaaaaaaa.

54 Replies to “Convergences:  a protein wisdom Tuesday afternoon riddle”

  1. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Thank you, I’m here all week.  Try the veal. Tip your waitresses.  You miserable fuckers.

  2. B Moe says:

    OMG WERE DO I SNED THE CHEK??!!!1?

  3. Sean M. says:

    When she says that her message won’t be “artful,” the woman ain’t kidding.  F’rinstance:

    We need to show George Bush and his cabal of neocons that when we say “bring the troops home, now” we mean “bring the troops home, now!!!”

    “Cabal of neocons”?  I think we just hit a time warp back to early 2003.  And as for the little repetition at the end–well, I guess nothing conveys that you mean what you say like EXCALMATION POINTS!!!  TAKE THAT, NEOCONS!!!

    And speaking of time warps, we have the following:

    They think that they are pushing us off, but we will not leave there voluntarily or without handcuffs on. My only hope is, there will be tons of media there when they carry me to the squad car.

    THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING!!!

    TW = “today.” As in, “Today is August 9, 2005.  1968 was 37 years ago.”

  4. The Colossus says:

    ” . . .the slovenly propagandist.” You can’t improve on that.  That formulation that is going straight into my “things I’ve stolen from Jeff Goldstein for future use” file.

  5. Murel Bailey says:

    “Slovenly propagandist?” That’s much more to the point than “fat America-hating retarded millionaire marxist baboon.”

  6. TallDave says:

    I wonder if any the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi moms currently digging their sons out of mass graves ever sat outside Saddam Hussein’s house to protest?

    I guess they’d be in the mass graves too.

  7. Sean M. says:

    You’re missing the point, Dave.  It’s exactly the same thing!

  8. maggiekatzen says:

    daniel, that was before we all found out about how much “w” was lying to us. rasberry

  9. Daniel says:

    Oh. I see you already covered that.

    Carry on…

    red face

  10. mojo says:

    …Humbug.

  11. Wow, some wonderful people you link to Jeff.  Apparently some “Mahablog” commenter named zpa said something the reality-based community didn’t like.  Maha banned the troll (presumably to teach John AshKKKroft a lesson about civil liverties):

    Sorry about the troll. He’s been sent back into the cave.

    Prompting this joyous approval from another commenter:

    And off with the trolls head Maha… just like an American contractor in Iraq… he’s not wanted here… beat it!

    Remember that the next time someone tells you the Left is not defeatist.  And seditious.

  12. Sheep is right.  Please do not allow me to be that stupid.

    All about oil, Israel and Haliburton.  gulp

  13. Attila Girl says:

    Maybe the way to honor the memory of this young man is to cut and run . . . ?

    You know: support the troops. Bring them home.

    q.e.d.

  14. me says:

    What’s a customary tip for a blog waitress? 15%? 20%?

  15. T Marcell says:

    Seditious? sure.

    Defeatist? obviously.

    Whiny, condescending and inclined to tantrums?

    yeah.

    But ya gotta admit-“No Deep Integration With the USA!” is one intriguing Lefty catch-phrase!

    Please tell me Quebeckers are, even as we speak, pondering in hushed and worried tones in al fresca cafes, Pernod and tobacco littering their crowded tables the terror of “deep integration”

    Allez-y Rene!, mais tell me, zeez “deep integration”, comes with a sort of political…how you say…lube? Non?”

  16. gandhi says:

    To quote Cindy Sheehan:

    “Why do the right wing media so assiduously scrutinize the words of a grief filled mother and ignore the words of a lying president?”

    Blogs like this encourage small-minded, hateful invective while strenuously ignoring any serious debate of the real issues.

    Oh what a surprise, a link to the bogus “charity” Spirit of America. And what a surprise, the author just happens to be Jewish, like all the others who launch hateful attacks on my blog.

    So… are you on the payroll, or you do this shit just for fun?

    Get a life.

  17. Russ from Winterset says:

    Here we go…….. “IT’S THE JOOOOOOOOOOOS!  THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

    Jeff, it’s a good thing gandhi is a pacifist, because otherwise you’d have to be on “double secret alert” for bomb belts coming into your comments section.

    This poor woman has lost her son, so I’m cutting her miles of slack.  That same slack does not apply to the bootlickers whispering in her ear & cheering her on.  Next thing you know, some moonbat is going to dig up her son’s corpse & bring it to the protest like a remake of “Weekend at Bernies”.  Because, you know, anything that helps bring Chimpy McBusHitler to justice is worth the lies & distortions, right?

  18. T Marcell says:

    Ghandi, you fetid, warped globule of walking spittle,

    Don’t pretend to be in the least interested in “serious debate of the real issues” when your first, knee-jerk reaction is to slander a man’s religion.

    Someday, when you’ve reached, oh, 22, you will remember that exchange and you will be ashamed.

    If you have forgotten your liberal principles to the point that you, like the stereotypical, Southern bigots whose venom you find anathema, find yourself now repeating their bigotry, then, truly, your cause is lost, your noble defense of the powerless and the minority voice twisted, your desire for equality moribund and turned against itself.

    Read your post again, and if you have any shame or honor, I will see your retraction soon.

    Otherwise, don’t bring your sad, sectarian malevolence to this side of the aisle…

    and if you do, next time, ask your Mom if you can borrow your balls.

  19. Average Joe says:

    Small-minded, hateful invective (an example):

    what a surprise, the author just happens to be Jewish, like all the others who launch hateful attacks on my blog.

    So… are you on the payroll, gandhi?  Perhaps some pro-Bush political group is paying you to make the Bush-haters look like a bunch of small-minded, hateful, bigoted idiots.

    … or you do this shit just for fun? Which seems more likely, as I would expect higher quality from paid stupidity.

    By the way, what’s with all of the anti-Semitism I have been seeing recently?  Is it the new fad among morons?

  20. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Did somebody hear a Baaaaa…?

  21. gandhi says:

    Oh grow up, Russ. I said it’s no surprise this is a Jewish-run blog because who else has an interest in promoting Bush’s anti-Arab neo-con agenda? If you want to claim that this makes me anti-Semetic, go ahead. But just beware of crying “Wolf!” too often.

    … anything that helps bring Chimpy McBusHitler to justice is worth the lies & distortions, right?

    At the risk of encouraging this manic crapola, what “lies and distortions” are these? I’m not promising to debate you, I’m just curious how you are spinning things…

  22. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I said it’s no surprise this is a Jewish-run blog because who else has an interest in promoting Bush’s anti-Arab neo-con agenda?

    Uh, noted Jewish President George W. Bush and his evil Hebe Henchman Dick Cheney, for starters?

    Jesus, what a fucking little anti-semitic pissant Why not just come out and say it, Mahatma:  “I CARE ABOUT CINDY!  IT’S ALL THE FILTHY JEWS I CAN’T STOMACH!”

    Incidentally, I once at gefilte fish, but beyond that, I’d hardly call this a “Jewish-run blog,” except in the strictest empirical sense.

    Oh. And Baaaaaaa.

  23. alex says:

    Before any of you other ‘small-minded, hateful’ right wingers leap to accuse – er – ‘gandhi’? of anti-semitism, let me be the first to say:

    ‘Ofcourseyoucanbeobsessivelyantijewishimeanisraeliwithoutbeingantisemitic besidesdontyouknowarabsaresemitestoothatmakesyouanantisemiteyouracist

    besidesallmybestfriendsarejews’

    Ahem. Just to save time, y’know.

  24. Chris says:

    “Oh what a surprise, a link to the bogus “charity” Spirit of America. And what a surprise, the author just happens to be Jewish, like all the others who launch hateful attacks on my blog.”

    Not to be insensitive, but I’ve never heard of you in my life.

  25. gandhi says:

    Great blog. Very intelligent comments…

    Go find some other form of entertainment.

    Bye.

  26. Jeff Goldstein says:

    You wouldn’t know an intelligent comment if it crawled in your ass with a reading lamp, a pipe, a glass of port, and a volume of Montaigne.

    Had you bothered to look around before making a filthy dick of yourself, you would’ve seen this post on Cindy Sheehan.

    As it stands, I’ll put my readership up against yours for intelligence any day.

  27. Paul Zrimsek says:

    In Russ’ place I’d be pretty amused. I mean, to be accused of crying wolf by the Boy Who Cried Wolfowitz.

  28. T Marcell says:

    Frankly, “fetid, warped globule of walking spittle” was more indicative of intelligence than anything I’ve wasted the precious few minutes of my life seeing on your blog, Ghandi.

    So…that retraction not coming then, eh?

  29. Shawn says:

    At least Gandhi stuck around long enough to enage with the commentariat.  Most spammers usually don’t exercise that courtesy.

  30. Lincolns Ghost says:

    Is that Ghandi Man for real?

    Who can take a blog post

    Sprinkle it with joos?

    Cover it in bullshit

    And a homonim or two

    The Ghandi Man

    The Ghandi Man can

    The Ghandi Man can

    Cause he mixes it with hate

    And makes the kool aid taste good

    Who can take tomorrow

    Dip it in a scream?

    Multiply the sorrows

    And collect up all the cream

    The Ghandi Man

    The Ghandi Man can

    The Ghandi Man can

    The Ghandi Man can

    Cause he mixes it with hate

    And makes the kool aid taste good

    And the kool aid tastes good

    Cause the Ghandi Man thinks it should

    Cause the Ghandi Man thinks

    Cause the Ghandi Man thinks it should

  31. Homo... ner says:

    Goldstein is a Jewish name? I thought it was Amish.

  32. Homo... ner says:

    Well, I guess that explains the armadillo

  33. So this is a Jewish blog?  Shit.  I hope the Grand Wizard doesn’t find out I’m reading a Jewish blog.  Last rally, I accidentally quoted Ludacris and boy, the guys were pissed!

    BTW, funny as shit, Lincoln’s Ghost.

  34. I can tell another anti-semite has been by … there’s diarrhea all over the floor again.

    Ghandi?  Ghandi?  Thankfully, he wasn’t no Joo.

    The only mystery to me, is have all the right-wing anti-semites disappeared into the quantum foam to be spontaneously replaced by left-wing anti-semites ( kind of a quantum ideologue tunneling … ) or have the right-wing anti-semites themselves changed phase into left-wing anti-semites via some electro-magnetic pole reversal?

  35. Sean M. says:

    So… are you on the payroll, or you do this shit just for fun?

    C’mon, Ghandi.  Seeing as how Jeff is a JOOOOO!, you outhtta know that he controls the payroll.

    Get your shit straight or the “reality-based community” may just have to revoke your Anti-Semitic Crackpot License.

  36. Russ from Winterset says:

    Yeah, that makes sense.  An “anti-Arab neo-con agenda” that frees an entire nation from slavery to a despot and helps them rebuild their infrastructure & develop their own form of representative government.  Shit, those jooooooos are CRAFTY mo-fos.  They’ve managed to steal Iraq’s oil & oppress it’s people by helping those people have a say in their government.  Heck, the joooooooos probably STARTED al quaeda & hamas hoping that they would go too far & move the US into acting against islamofascism.

    I see your point, Jeff:  arging with these chowdaheads is starting to lose it’s charm.

    BTW – for the record……to paraphrase Adam Sandler…..”Russ from Winterset….NOT a Jew (but he does enjoy bagels).”

  37. Russ from Winterset says:

    Oh, and just in case Mr. gandhi is still lurking:  the lies and distortions would consist of the following.

    Bush stole the 2000 election.

    Bush’s negligence allowed Al Quaeda to blossom in the late 90’s.

    Bush was AWOL from the Texas National Guard.

    Iraq was a workers paradise, and had NOTHING to do with international terrorism.

    Saddam Hussein was the legitimate leader of Iraq.

    The Mossad and the CIA staged 9/11 to draw the US into fighting Arabs in Israel’s name.

    …these are just off the top of my head, so forgive me if I’ve missed a few of them.  I don’t do this for a living.

  38. McGehee says:

    I tried to count the “Baaaaa“‘s up top, but for some reason I keep nodding off…

  39. Carin says:

    Well, a sympathetic commenter of Gandhi’s did offer this advice:

    Well, in future, I’d be more careful about making the distinction between “Jewish” and “anti-Arab neo-con agenda”.

    heh

  40. Major John says:

    Heh.  Ghandi once had some rather dark and conspiritorial things to say about Arthur Chrenkoff and yours truly being some sort of DoD propaganda/conspiracy mouthpieces.  Fun stuff.

  41. Paul Zrimsek says:

    Say what you will about “gandhi”, the fact that he turned up to bring credit to the Left the very day after Geek, Esq’s attempt to promote guilt by association with the guilty by association is as wonderful as coincidences ever get.

  42. Moe Lane says:

    I have no comment, per se – except that when I read comments like ghandi’s I’m reminded of Tolkien’s pithy reply to a contemporary German publisher’s enquiry on his ‘Aryan’ status – but the spam word was ‘farm’, and, really, how could I resist?

  43. Matt says:

    Would somebody explain how Spirit of America is a “bogus” charity ?  Apparently, any conservative type charity is bogus but we should continue to give money to amnesty international and green peace.

    I had a liberal tell me yesterday that Hannity had pocketed all the money from the freedom concert.  I asked what his proof was and I got “oh you’ll see.”

  44. capt joe says:

    Matt,

    You don’t see why Spirit of America is bogus.  Here let me help you with the leftist mindset. 

    Spirit of America is sending money to children and that helps ChimpyMcHilterHaliburton. 

    Air America is stealing money to get rid of BusHilterEnron.

    Obivously Spirit is bogus and AAR is good. 

    Now do you understand.  wink

  45. CITIZEN JOURNALIST says:

    God I hate people like you, ghandi.  You do realize that all you’re doing is giving these people rhetorical ammunition to fire at those of us who aren’t vile anti-Semites, right (and believe me, fire it they will)?  And that by doing so, you only undermine efforts to oppose the Bush administration? 

    Because, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but most Americans don’t buy into your idiotic conspiracy theories.  Even if you can’t make the moral choice not to spout small-minded hatred, you should at least recognize that much.

    But mostly, just pull your head out of your ass.  If you insist on making these designations based on ethnicity, have you not noticed that many of the most prominent anti-war voices belong to Jewish people and organizations?  Or that Jews vote 75% Democrat?  Or that it’s just stupid, reactionary, and distinctly un-liberal to believe that any group is so monolithic and united in purpose?  Isn’t that what we complain about when the right attacks and demonizes Muslims?

    Seriously – get a life, grow up, whatever you have to do.  You contribute nothing, you are not “fighting the good fight”, and you’re a stain on the good names of the rest of us.  Go crawl back into the gutter.

  46. Moe Lane says:

    “Or that it’s just stupid, reactionary, and distinctly un-liberal to believe that any group is so monolithic and united in purpose?  Isn’t that what we complain about when the right attacks and demonizes Muslims?”

    1).  Good show on the rest of the post.  Thought I’d say that first.

    2).  Is the above a tacit admission that said complaints about ‘the right’ re Muslims is an equivalent situation (ie, the sins of a very few projected on a whole movement)?  And if not, then why not? – because I* as bitterly resent being lumped in with bigoted freaks as you do, for precisely the same reasons.

    Moe

    *I dare to suggest, so would President Bush, who has done his damndest to help keep anti-Muslim sentiment from overwhelming this country.  And I suggest that those ready to critique his performance in this regard should go reference the equivalent American response during WWII re Japanese-Americans as a benchmark for how badly things might have gone.

  47. CITIZEN JOURNALIST says:

    Well, Moe, I understand what you’re saying, and having read your work at Obsidian Wings, I most certainly wouldn’t lump you in with racists.  In fact, despite Jeff’s defense (or “critique of the nature of the attacks”) of Michelle Malkin, it never really occurred to me that anyone here would think I was referring to them with that comment (I never even thought Jeff was defending Malkin’s racism, but merely either failing to recognize it as such, or failing to consider its importance in the context of his arguments).  Mostly, I was just trying get “gandhi” to notice the contradiction inherent in claiming to be a liberal while holding beliefs that wouldn’t be out of place at a KKK meeting.

    That said, I probably should have been more precise than just saying “the right”.  How about, instead of “when the right attacks and demonizes Muslims”, I should have said something like “when anti-terrorist sentiment expressed by certain right-wingers appears to be indistinguishable from outright Muslim-hatred”?

    Also, I wasn’t even thinking of Bush: I agree that he’s done a quite respectable job of not only “not promoting” hatred of Muslims, but of actually discrediting it.  Not sure I can say the same about a significant percentage of the rest of the Republican Party and its supporters, though.  Would you really argue that this is not the case?

  48. kelly says:

    Also, I wasn’t even thinking of Bush: I agree that he’s done a quite respectable job of not only “not promoting” hatred of Muslims, but of actually discrediting it.  Not sure I can say the same about a significant percentage of the rest of the Republican Party and its supporters, though.  Would you really argue that this is not the case?

    Based on what evidence, pal.

  49. Moe Lane says:

    “How about, instead of “when the right attacks and demonizes Muslims”, I should have said something like “when anti-terrorist sentiment expressed by certain right-wingers appears to be indistinguishable from outright Muslim-hatred”? “

    Hey, replace ‘right’ with ‘certain right-wingers’ – or even ‘certain right-wing bigoted freaks’ next time and I won’t say a word in protest.  I didn’t want to criticize in the first place.

    As to percentages; my experience on RedState is that there are people – including ones I respect – who are advocating non-fringe positions on the nature and extent of our war that I find worrisome.  But we are not yet beyond worrisome; with any luck, we will never get beyond that point.

  50. Matt Moore says:

    I’m not shocked when someone like ghandi lets something mildly anti-semitic slip out. But when they just scream JOOOOOO on a crowded blog it literally scares me.

  51. Russ from Winterset says:

    I hear ‘ya, Matt.  Was it just me, or when you visualize Mr. ghandi as looking exactly like Donald Sutherland at the end of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”?

  52. Russ from Winterset says:

    man, my grammar is crap this morning.  I’ll be in the kitchen freebasing coffee if anyone needs me.

  53. Matt Moore says:

    Check out the response I got from gandhi on my post about this brouhaha. He spells it “anti-Semetic” on purpose!

    Bwaaahaha!

Comments are closed.