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I was going to post a brief, preliminary analysis of what is sure to be a major battle over the forthcoming Supreme Court Judicial nomination, but then I realized that if I wanted to do so, I should be willing to nominate MYSELF, which I’m not prepared to do at this time, unwilling as I am to relocate to Washington, DC, or to wear a robe of any kind

So, y’know.  Never mind.

24 Replies to “I was going to post a brief, preliminary analysis of what is sure to be a major battle over the forthcoming Supreme Court Judicial nomination, but then I realized that if I wanted to do so, I should be willing to nominate MYSELF, which I’m not prepared to do at this time, unwilling as I am to relocate to Washington, DC, or to wear a robe of any kind”

  1. Allah says:

    We need you, Jeff.  Now more than ever.

    Assuming you’re unwilling or unable to serve, I think it’s going to be Garza.  Unless Bush knows for sure that Rehnquist will also be retiring soon, in which case he might hold Garza back for that seat.  In that case, I think it’s Rogers-Brown.

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    As long as it’s not Gonzales.

    Rogers-Brown would be interesting, and a good pick.  I know the social cons have their sites set on Roe v. Wade, but I’d rather see something truly pernicious like race-based affirmative action hit history’s dustbin.

  3. MC says:

    I wouldn’t mind hearing a good chickencourt argument.

    And nice to see your smiling handle oh Maker of Worlds …

  4. Hoodlumman says:

    You Chickenjustice…

  5. Joe says:

    I thought about posting a comment on this, but decided that since I, too, would be unwilling to serve (although I dig those robes), my comment would therefore be invalid.

  6. TallDave says:

    BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!!

    But at least this way you’re not a chickenJustice.

  7. TallDave says:

    Dammit, Hoodlum beat me to it.

  8. TallDave says:

    Paul, are YOU willing to divorce Shannon Elizabeth’s husband?  Because if not, you’re just a chickenShannonElizabeth.

  9. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Oh. And if Bush wants to make his pick filibuster-proof, he should nominate someone who he knows for a fact would uphold private property rights.  Then advertise it.

  10. Paul says:

    Damn, you’ve got me, TallDave!

    <slinks away>

  11. Scott P says:

    Nobody here but us ChickenLurkers…

  12. Allah says:

    As long as it’s not Gonzales.

    A Gonzales nomination would piss everyone off.  The right would howl that he’s too moderate and the left would howl that he’s a Bush crony and America’s “torturer-in-chief.” He’s not worth fighting over.

    I think Bush could get away with nominating two men, but one of them absolutely has to be Hispanic.  I also think he’s going to have put forth a hardliner for this seat; the base will flip out if he throws a moderate like Gonzales in there.

    Garza fits the bill in both respects.  If Bush can push him through, then he’ll have leeway to appoint someone a bit more centrist to fill Rehnquist’s seat.  Alternately, he can try nominating Rogers-Brown now; the Dems will have trouble filibustering her now after confirming her a month ago, and she’ll also satisfy the base.  Then he could appoint Gonzales to replace Rehnquist.

    Of course, in a perfect world the choice would be Richard Posner.  But we don’t live in a perfect world.

  13. Blackjack says:

    If the subject is property rights, JRB would be the ideal choice.  She’s downright prickly when it comes to that subject.  So prickly that it was one of the reasons used to show why she was such an “extremist”.

  14. Michael says:

    Jeff, the Joooooo seat isn’t open anyway.

    I think Bush should nominate a conservative woman.  Even the die-hard lefties will pause before they conduct an outright borking of a female.

  15. Sean M. says:

    Instapundit: “Volkoh!  VOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLKOOOOOOOH!”

  16. Bill Quick says:

    Even the die-hard lefties will pause before they conduct an outright borking of a female.

    No they won’t.  Not for an instant.

  17. McGehee says:

    Bill’s right. The opportunity to Bork a conservative woman would just give the MoveOn types the tiny little woodies. Their pants would look like club sandwiches.

  18. MC says:

    Their pants would look like club sandwiches.

    Bwahahahaha! McGehee, now that was funny.

    But should it maybe be “The opportunity to Thomas a conservative woman…”? ‘Cause you know, instead of the slow dope tactic they’ll likely take the what’s on your coke route?

    Plus, you know, historical succession and all…

  19. So, Jeff (you make me want to weep and laugh simultaneously),

    I decided I should read more of your witticisms and found myself amused <greatly at times>, even if I disagree with you 80% of the time.  But then, we don’t have to communicate through writing and words…since I’m your “Howitzer of Enlightenment.” We can just sense each other, on a temporal existential level leaving aside all sanctimony,dissonance, and cognition of course and just do it….on the floor… <as long as Coulter isn’t there> What were you thinking?…<shiver>

    And, finally to the point of this silliness:

    I, The Howitzer of Enlightenment, do hereby nominate you <anointed>, and further, (lets just skip the nomination process), <on your knees dear, yes, just there….> Jeff darling-G, as my quaalude hemp-smokin’ pal in chief justice of the Supreme Court….<wow, was it good for you too?>

    Jeff’s scared back now reads (in Racy Red Lip Liner by Dior):

    Peace and Love Tokens Granted by,

    The Howitzer of Enlightenment smile

  20. I nominate Allah!

    Failing that, Miguel Estrada or Edith Jones.

  21. Little Billy Byrd says:

    I’d like to nominate my owner, Senator Byrd of West Virginia.  He’s already robe-trained.

    Arf.

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