FOXNews’ “Dayside” today featured in one of its segments an Allegheny County, PA fifth-grader, winner of the “There Ought to be a Law” contest sponsered by Allegheny County legislators. His winning entry? A bill maintaining that all animals need be restrained while riding in moving vehicles. Oh—and that dogs shouldn’t be allowed to stick their heads out of car windows. Because of the danger.
Isn’t that just so adorable? Cue audience applause!
Well, you’ll get no applause from me, sonny. In fact, the idea, so startlingly typical of much of today’s legislation — in its dubiousness of premise, in the burden it places on private property owners, and, most distressingly, and for it’s having been drafted specifically for the sake of making a law—should be met with scowls and hisses from any conscientious American, rather than with the kind of drippy feel-goodism exhibited by that Oprahfied studio audience. Because what this contest does is inculcates children to the kind of revolting nannystate impulses that motivate the kinds of petty tyrants that tend to gravitate to local legislatures.
I’m thinking about moving to Allegheny County just so that my son can enter the contest with his bill calling for the outlawing of “There Ought to be a Law” contests. Which, of course, will carry with it the rider that all those caught trying to resurrect the contest be sentenced to 400 hours community service, to be spent in the smoking section of the local Stucky’s drinking pop and eating non-nutritious meals.
There outta be a law…to prevent stupid contests like these!
I was born in Allegheny county.
Looks good in a rear view mirror…
I have an entry for “There Ought To Be a Law.”
It’s “The meaning of the Constitution (like all laws) does not change.”
Or how about: “The Federal government is one of limited and enumerated powers.”
Or maybe: “The government is prohibited in interfering in the free market.”
Or: “The government cannot act except to remedy or prevent actual harm to life, liberty or property.”
Of course, there’s really no need for laws that “ought to be.” We can just appoint a few sympathetic members to the Supreme Court, and they can tell us if the Constitution already HAS a provision lurking in it somewhere (invisible to mere mortals) that does just what we want it to do!
My neighbor’s place is for sale. Property taxes will run you about $400 a month for a 2000 square foot house in a nice (low crime, reasonable schools) neighborhood. Plus a transfer tax 1.5% of the value of the house when you buy and the same when you sell.
Plus income tax. Plus sales tax. Plus parking costs $14 a day downtown, over half of which is taxes. Plus you have to buy wine and liquor from the state store at around 15% more than you’d pay in nearby states. To get beer, you need to beer distributor, not a grocery store. Also, the current mayor is spending hundreds of millions on two subway tunnels (neither of which goes more than 750 yards) to connect two new boondoggles (stadiums and a convention center) to the existing subway. While doing this, he cut the police force to the bone and stopped filling potholes because the city was broke. Plus, the man who is almost certain to be the next mayor wants to build a light rail to connect Oakland to downtown.
On the plus side, the weather is better than it was in Nebraska.
feeloodism?
(Dontcha get tired of us sometimes, Jeff?)
TW: together!
feel-goodism. Fixed. But now with a permanent record or its initial typographic flub.
MJH,
Don’t forget that Murphy closed the city pools because there was no money.
And if the greedy representatives in Harrisburg would send some state monies to Pittsburgh, all those poor city kids would be able to enjoy cooling off in the municipal pools this summer.
bah – Jeff knows nothing of PennDot and its road maintenance history.
Sure, it’s all fun and games until the pickup truck a couple of car lengths in front of you hits a pothole and launches the golden retriever out of the truck bed and right into your grill.
Can’t they do something better with there time, like a “We need to get rid of a this Law” contest? You know, something that would probably improve the quality of the community.
Of course then the Supreme Court would rule that repealing that law violates the Interstate Commerce clause, and must be reinstated, the winner must go to jail for spreading dangerous thought, and all who supported getting rid of the law have do sit in the corner and think about what they did.
Heh.
Tom Stephenson (R-Mt Lebanon) was the State Rep who sponsors this contest every year. I hope they don’t try to enforce this boondoggle on those of us who transport bird dogs in the back of trucks.
There might be repercussions, you know.
As for MJH, you have been fully assimilated into the ‘Burgh mindset. Bitch, bitch, bitch. You will fit in great here. Let me know when you get to the terminal stage where you actually think Iron City beer tastes good. (BTW: The subway tunnels will be funded by the Feds through the Port Authority- Mayor Smurfy did nothing except cheerlead the project.)
It really does suck having to buy beer by the case (only) though.
How about a law voiding Myron Cope’s retirement?
I love that guy. What a voice.
Perfect—Jeff, you need to host a “There Ought Not to Be a Law” contest.
Sure, it’s all fun and games until the pickup truck a couple of car lengths in front of you hits a pothole and launches the golden retriever out of the truck bed and right into your grill.
In California, until decade or so ago, it tended to be somewhat larger, two-legged being(s) getting launched. The legislature then banned riding in open truck beds.
Fiberglass-capped beds, however, were okay…
Hurry up and move already so I can resurrect the contest.
Not because I think the contest is a good idea, but because I’m craving Stuckey’s.
Mmmm… 400 hours community service in the smoking section of the local Stuckey’s drinking pop and eating non-nutritious meals (which I presume includes their Pecan logs)…
See? That’s the beauty, though: only the nannystatists fear such a punishment!
Steelheader,
No, what makes the Pittsburgh mindset is “Bitch, Bitch, Bitch†and then vote for the people you bitched about. That and jaywalking across arterial streets, preferably with small children in tow. Everyone was swearing at Murphy, but then they vote for O’Connor. New mayor, same old machine that bankrupted the city and drives thousands out of the city every year. If you don’t think it is a machine, then explain how O’Connor raised a quarter of a million for the primary and his opponents could barely come up with $50 K among all of them?
BTW: By my way of thinking, wasting federal money is not an improvement over wasting city money.
So, you think it’s ok for idiots with pickup trucks to let their unrestrained dogs fly out the bed of a pickup truck into an oncoming vehicle or smash into the asphalt while their idiot owner drives down the highway at 70mph or takes a corner and the animal falls out the window and under the tires of their own vehicle or that they leave an animal in a vehicle with the windows cracked an inch in 100 degree heat and the animal dehydrates and dies….and, all this is ok with you?
I yell at people I see doing this…guess I just love animals more than you folks. I’m not real tolerant of canned hunts of poor old zoo animals either. Ofcourse, just because I’m a biped doesn’t mean I believe we are any better than other creatures like most people do…but then, humans are the most dangerous animal on the planet…
Unrestrained dogs flying out of pickup trucks…this is a frequent occurrence where you live, is it?
I think we should just not allow idiots to drive.
Or vote.
Did you ever notice how the majority of W stickers are on car windows, and most Kerry/Edwards stickers are on the paint?
I assume that the irony of having Satch propose a law to outlaw “There ought to be a law” contests was intended.
Perfectâ€â€Jeff, you need to host a “There Ought Not to Be a Law†contest.
Ooh! Ooh! Here’s my first choice:
The 1850 law admitting California as a state.
And I was born and grew up there.
Hmmmm, unintended consequence: I’ll have to apply for citizenship now…
Maybe instead there should be a law preventing people from dumping their dogs at animal shelters and leaving them to rot or be put to sleep. Cats too. Or Allegheny County could do something about the large number of people in the area who breed pit bulls for fighting, or breed them at all when there are no homes to go to. Or the thousands of cats in foster care and shelters because people don’t get their animals neutered.
Oh no, we have to save the pretty dogs from their owners idiocy. :growl:
I hate Pittsburgh.
I am not sure that legislation of this sort would get Sen. Kerry’s support – after all, his unrestrained dog, VC, was blown through the air from one boat to another and landed A-OK…
Jeff said: Unrestrained dogs flying out of pickup trucks…this is a frequent occurrence where you live, is it?
Yes it is Jeff. People in Texas do this frequently and flying dogs dying on the roads and highways here is a semi-frequent occurence. It is really disturbing to have a dog fly out of a pickup bed hit your vehicle or you run it down. Makes me ill.
Well, does Texas not have laws against the mistreatment of animals?
The point is, exploit the laws you have already before rushing to make new ones to prevent what are likely quite (statistically) infrequent incidents.
I get your point, I got it earlier, however, that isn’t quite how you came across. Perhaps mentioning you love critters somewhere in your article about a 5th grader learning how to create legislation(kinda below the belt, but what the hell)…There are a lot more laws that are being made, as we speak, that are outright horrendous.
It’s difficult to stop inbred stupidity of Republic of TeXass typologies…even with cruelty to animal laws and especially when they aren’t enforced by the good old boys. “ole Dickhead din’t mean nothin’ by dragin’ that dawg b’hine his pickemuptruck fer 20 miles ‘lil missy, he was ‘jus punishin’ him fer not chasin’ that there quail he done shot ded ofter by the pond…
Sorry, I’m in a strange mood today…
My love of animals is inversely related to my hatred of excessive, bullying, nanny-statist legislation. My personal pet peeves are laws that target legal products and their adult users—junk food taxes, laws banning smoking in privately owned bars and restaurants, etc.
Of course, the Supreme Court hasn’t done itself proud lately, either—with Raich, Kelo, U of Michigan and affirmative action…