Tom Elia makes the case that Ted Kennedy and Carl Levin are wrong to label forcible interrogation techniques used at Gitmo “torture”– something the two grandstanding liberal Senators have no problem doing in this AP report (which, ironically, outlines an independent investigation’s findings that suggest a profound and troubling lack of torture, if you ask me. But then, I’m barbaric that way).
Given the near certainty that these two flabby liberal Senators would be among the first to stagger to their bloated pink feet and blame any future attacks on Bush administration intelligence failures, I wonder just how it is, exactly, that these two—and all likeminded liberals and progressives who are using these findings to again scream bloody murder about the treatment of terrorists, even as twisted metal and Brit body parts lay buried beneath Kings Cross station in London—would go about trying to gather usable information from captured al Qaeda members. Because it seems to me that humiliating members of an honor culture is a potentially fruitful strategy.
So tell me: how? How?
And no, that is not a rhetorical question.
****
update: see also, Captain’s Quarters.
Kennedy: “Well, er, uh, I’d just drink ‘em under the bridge—er, I mean table—until they said yes. Um, until they told me everything they knew. Er, uh.”
Kennedy: “ROVE! POTATO SKINS WITH CHEDDAR AND SOUR CREAM! GIN AND TONIC, HOLD THE TONIC! TWIN FILIPINA HOOK—er, what was the question again…?”
Wow, that’s about as pissed off and gung-ho as I’ve ever seen The Captain get.
How about we export democracy in the form of Pelosi, Kennedy, McKinney, et al. No wait, that would be torture.
Come on Jeff, you know the answer to this. They don’t give a rat’s ass about torture at Gitmo. They only want to embarass this administration and THAT is ALL they want. To hell with how the European news takes this and runs with it to make us look bad. Nothing is more important to liberals than their own power, even at the expense of our global reputation.
You warmongering fascists are so stupid. W’ve been telling for years now, the best way to get information from these freedom fighters is to understand the root causes of their anger.
Sheesh, you inbred hick wingnuts are thick.
Candy. It works with my four year old.
Comment on all of todays postings: OY!!!!!!!!!
Every time I hear “root causes,” I am reminded that for some of the Anglo-world, i.e., Australia and New Zealand (and presumably England, though I can’t say first hand) the word “root” is their equivalent for our “fuck.”
Makes you think.
Or maybe not, your call.
It’s too bad nothing ever came out of MK ULTRA.
I suppose all this means that no-one can claim the CIA has secret mind-control and thought-reading technology, cause they’d certainly be using it at Gitmo.
(Incidentally, the most effective truth drug that came out of MK ULTRA was mixing pot with tobacco and not telling the subject.)
Don’t forget these are the same bastards who thought Admiral Stockdale’s hearing aids were the funniest thing ever.
Kelly,
I suppose that really give new meaning to “Rooting for the Home Team”.
If candy doesn’t work, I always find that Thomas the Tank Engine is very effective.
Root causes? I know what causes gray roots (going too long between Grecian Formula® treatments), is that close enough?
I know it’s only a temporary solution, but we could string them along for a while with promises that if they’ll “be good,” we’ll buy them a pony.
…Or for every, say, 5 years of non-violence, we’ll donate a homosexual for them to drop a wall on, or a young girl for them to circumsize and, should one of the terrorists slip and touch her inappropriately, kill by stoning.
RACIST!
Maybe Ted thinks mispronouncing terrorists’ names (cf. Obama Osama, Mike McGwire, Sammy Sooser) will do the trick.
Pretty please, Mr. Terrorist?
Clearly, Senator Kennedy wants the chaps acquitted.
I’ve always like the thong. Unless it’s on a fat chick. Was that weightist?
Here’s a good example.
Heh. Spamword, “ball.” Not going there.
OK, that’s it. I’m hiring a copy editor.
JWebb, that’s one of the worst puns I’ve ever seen…and I love it!
“we made an Islamist wear a bra, dance with another man, and act like a dog.”
And here I’ve been thinking Barney Frank was Jewish.
You people are all forgetting the great negotiation equaliaer – the count. As in “Okay, by the time I count to three, you little terrorists better be in your beds! Ooooone…Twooo….THREE!”
Well the solution to Jeff’s question is easy –
Or, as an alternative –
On the upside, the task would take anywhere from 5 to 20 years so the terrorist is off the street while the War on Terra continues. Plus, the administration would be insultated from criticism – what’s Kennedy going to say “Hell, I don’t understand what the hell I’m saying half the time, how can we expect other, lesser cultures to understand what the hell I’m talking about!”
And, the task is sort of like a baseball game, there’s no time limit, but there is a definite ending point.
On the downside, we run the risk of having these terror suspects complete their assignments and return to their countries where they set up DNC cells.
I say we put Thomas Kincaide paintings in their cells. Most Congress-types wouldn’t catch onto the subtle cruelty of it. Meanwhile, Gitmo interrogators could just sit back and wait for the birdies to sing. Everybody would be happy and obviously none the wiser. Except the poor detainees.
Hows about having your best Teddy impersonating operative visiting Gitmo under the guise of a Senatorial inspection. He walks through and points to a poor tortured detainee/freedom fighter and says “I’d like to have some time alone with this poor tortured soul to find out what’s really going on here.” The chosen prisoner is then shackled and cuffed and put in the front seat of Edward K’s rented Cordoba and then fauxTed gets in the driver seat with his tinkling glass of Scotch-rocks and off they go for a nice relaxing drive to just…..”talk”.
Our operative then drives directly into the ocean and leaves the alledged terrorist to drown – only to be rescued by special ops after 7 or 8 hours.
Let a few days go by and then have “our man Ted” come and pick another detainee and see how fast the info comes.
Really, I don’t think we need to worry about any unreliable information we might get from these poor detainees. Just look at all of the valuable information we got from our CIA and its brilliant field operatives like Joe Wilson.
Root, root, root for the home team, if you don’t it’s a shaaaame…”
Seriously, I don’t know that it’s possible to persuade or torture someone who’s looking forward to dying. What do you have that matters to them? Perhaps your only recourse is to attack their self-image–make them despair. Keep them alive against their will so they can’t die a hero. Prevent them from getting any publicity and recognition for ‘being a martyr’. Make ‘em eat with the wrong hand. Or eat pork. Make ‘em listen to Christina Aguilera…
As for examining root causes…if you put Nancy Pelosi in a cell with one of the detainees and left her there overnight, I think she’d have a sudden epiphany. Actually, you could add Kennedy and Dean and the Staff of the NYT and BBC. I think they’d have epiphanies out the yin-yang…
Spam word: Million, as in ‘million cuts’
I think they’d have epiphanies out the yin-yang…
“Epiphanies?” Is that what the kids are calling it now?
Yeah.
Put that infidel whore, Jennifer Granholm, in my detainee cell overnight. There’d be multiple epiphanies, I guarantee, Allah willing.
One word: subpoenas.
Make them sit through a Trend West presentation.
Let Robert Mapplethorpe decorate their cells.