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DHS wants 7000 “assault weapons” for “personal defense” [updated]

This, despite Joe Biden’s having already explained that they’d be far better off with some buckshot, or maybe a blunderbuss. Imagine!  The Blaze:

The Department of Homeland Security is seeking to acquire 7,000 5.56x45mm NATO “personal defense weapons” (PDW) — also known as “assault weapons” when owned by civilians. The solicitation, originally posted on June 7, 2012, comes to light as the Obama administration is calling for a ban on semi-automatic rifles and high capacity magazines.

Citing a General Service Administration (GSA) request for proposal (RFP), Steve McGough of RadioViceOnline.com reports that DHS is asking for the 7,000 “select-fire” firearms because they are “suitable for personal defense use in close quarters.” The term select-fire means the weapon can be both semi-automatic and automatic. Civilians are prohibited from obtaining these kinds of weapons.

Well, not quite. But they are extraordinarily difficult to get, heavily taxed, and oftentimes exorbitantly expensive.  For the record.

The RFP describes the firearm as “Personal Defense Weapon (PDW) – 5.56x45mm NATO, select-fire firearm suitable for personal defense use in close quarters and/or when maximum concealment is required.” Additionally, DHS is asking for 30 round magazines that “have a capacity to hold thirty (30) 5.56x45mm NATO rounds.”

Republican New York state Sen. Greg Ball also issued a press release this week bringing attention to the weapons purchase request.

Calls made to DHS seeking information regarding whether or not the RFP was accepted and fulfilled were not immediately returned on Saturday.

Of course they weren’t. Because who do you think you are, questioning the wisdom of government officials?  I mean, these are government officials.  Appointed by other government officials because of their specialness. They’re practically gods or superheroes.  In fact, were they X-Men, their X-Men power would be caring too much about an otherwise helpless citizenry in their charge.

So you can stop it with the veiled “hypocrisy” arguments.  That only matters if we’re comparing apples to apples.  Instead, we’re comparing compassionate, moral, wise civic gods and superheroes to, eg., some pro-gun extremist dude on your street who cleans out gutters for a living, eats Velveeta & shells, and watches “Storage Wars” marathons.

Do you seriously believe we need to explain who is, by virtue of the intensity of their caring, entitled to be heavily armed, and who should probably be declawed and allowed to eat only with plastic cutlery off of paper plates?

Also, shut up.

update:  my SF buddy emails, “[…] PDWs are typically even ‘worse’ than assault weapons.  They are normally extremely short carbines, sometimes stockless, or with some clever collapsible stock.  So they almost always fall under NFA rules as Short Barrel Rifles (SBR), and require that whole process to own.”

My, but some pigs really are more equal than others!

10 Replies to “DHS wants 7000 “assault weapons” for “personal defense” [updated]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    this is a slap in the face to the parents of the recently slaughtered newtown babywazzles
    /faggy british propaganda slut

  2. Let’s be fair, who wouldn’t want 7,000 personal defense weapons? I know I do.

  3. Ouroboros says:

    Hey, whatsa matter with Velveeta and shells? Oh, and that one chick on Storage Wars has great hooters.. Jus sayin is all.

  4. sdferr says:

    So we should not expect the occasional bureaucratic slip-up in correctly identifying an assault weapon by name to make its way into the general language far-away on the lofty heights of Capital Hill, and therefore see a cessation of the misidentification of mere semi-autos thereafter? It is a wonder however, that down in the bowels of the DHS someone has happened upon the truth. There must be a need, if not a purpose.

  5. happyfeet says:

    Velveeta and shells is chocked full of carbs to where consuming it will impede your attainment of even modest weight-loss goals

  6. LBascom says:

    I’m becoming convinced the government is putting in these orders (this, on top of huge non-military ammo orders) just to keep the shelves empty at stores.

  7. Ernst Schreiber says:

    They need PDWs to defend themselves from your AWs, but you don’t need a PDW, because they would never A you with their PDWs and how many bullets does it take to kill a deer anyways.

  8. geoffb says:

    select-fire firearm

    There you go. Semi-auto = assault rifle. Full-auto-select-fire = personal defense weapon.

  9. Chuck says:

    “Well, not quite. But they are extraordinarily difficult to get, heavily taxed, and oftentimes exorbitantly expensive. For the record.”
    Short barreled semi-auto weapons can be purchased with a fingerprint background check, approval by your local sheriff, and a $200 tax.
    Select fire weapons include all the above and must have been manufactured and registered to a civilian before 1986 thus causing the exorbitant expense.

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