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Scenes from my driveway, continued x 56

Deadbeat neighbor:  “Is it true the Syrian army is fighting against us in Iraq?”*

Me: “I dunno.  Who cares?”

Deadbeat neighbor: “Well, wouldn’t that mean Syria is, y’know, declaring war on us?  That’s kind of a big deal, I would think…”

Me:  “Feh, whatever.  Fleas biting at the ankles of an elephant.  No, it’s Pepsico that I want a piece of.  The unpatriotic softdrink bastards.”*

Deadbeat neighbor:

Me: “BEWARE THE STING OF MY GLORIOUS OUTRAGE, PEPSICO!”

Deadbeat neighbor: “Not a fan of the Wild Cherry and Vanilla, I take it –?”

Me: “—CHARGE…!”

14 Replies to “Scenes from my driveway, continued x 56”

  1. Blackjack says:

    As resident Pepsi Pimp, I heartily suggest trying the Pepsi Lime.  No argument on the vanilla—I think whomever came up with the vanilla-cola idea should have all fingers smashed with a ball pien hammer.

    Full Disclosure Note:  Blackjack owns Pepsi stock, has been known to shill for them in order to curry favor and if he dressed better than a typical flood victim, we would swear he is on the payroll. 

  2. Sean M. says:

    I had a can of Pepsi with lunch.  The terrorists have won.

  3. jso says:

    Wait, people actually drink that crap?  I don’t believe it.

  4. I kinda like the new Pepsi One, made with Splenda instead of Nutra Sweet.  But it doesn’t seem to have enough caffeine.  Which defeats the purpose.  Because I’m a web freak.  I never see the sun.

  5. Two Dogs says:

    These Neighbor posts are my sole reason to live.  Great work, Jeff.  Oh, and Gladys Knight, too.

  6. marcus says:

    JEFF!!

    A. Huffington thinks you’re a “retard”!

    What an honor!

    (Just scroll down towards the bottom)

  7. CraigC says:

    Oh, my.  This is the GREATEST BLOG EVER!!!!  That was the best writing, the funniest stuff…..wait is this Huffington’s Toast??  Sorry.

  8. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Thanks Marcus.  Saw that.  It’s nice to be loved.

    Speaking of which, here you go, Craig:

    http://huffingtonstoast.com/

    We’ll miss you!  Don’t forget to send a postcard!

  9. MC says:

    I’ve been thinking that Syria’s next for a while. A little quieter than Afghanistan or Iraq – we got some Syrian regulars fighting us? Get out the air …

  10. Joe says:

    Careful with that, Jeff. You don’t want the outrage police all up in here, do you ?

  11. Alpha Baboon says:

    So whats not to like about the image of the US as the ‘Middle Finger to the World” ?

    All I have to say is ;

    “America, Fuck Yeah !

    Comin again to save the Motherfuckin Day, Yeah !


    Terrorists your game is through..

    Cuz now you have to answer to..

    America, Fuck Yeah ! “

    (Flips the world the finger..)

  12. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    Just curious Jeff.  What’s your opinion on this stuff?

    Rising Sun

    LGF

    LGF

    Heh.  It’s pretty strange stuff.  The only question I have is the translation from Japanese.  Since I don’t read or write Japanese, I couldn’t say whether or not the translations are correct.  But if anybody around does read/write Japanese, I’d appreciate verification.

    Still pretty damn strange.

  13. Beck says:

    LGF’s translations are basically correct.

Comments are closed.