- “Yes.”
- “Absolutely they do.”
- “Of course.”
- “Do they suck? Dude! Why do you even have to ask?”
- “They suck like vaccuum cleaners, baby.”
- “Ha! Do they EVER!”
- “Si.”
- “You’re darn tootin,’ Geech!”
- “HUGH HEWITT IS MY MASTER!”
- “Does Michael Jackson like to jack off little boys?”
- (Tie) “Word up, my nizzle” / “Like Michael Moore on a barbecue spare rib.”
- “I’m pretty sure, yes. But let me check with Sean Hannity.”
- “Hillary Clinton has the fattest ankles, like, ever!
- “Well, Monica sure did, am I right?”
- “Down with the ACLU! Up with freedom fries!”
- “Some of them, I guess. Oh, who am I kidding: a pox on all of ‘em, the filthy lying bastards!”
- “Let me put it this way: if they lived in the water, they’d be stuck to the sides of ships like Dean-worshipping barnacles.”
- “I should say so!”
- “Robert Byrd was in the Klan. The KLAN, I tell you!”
- “Suck or not, I don’t have much use for them either way.”
*For John Hawkins and his new blog, the Conservative Grapevine, a clearing house for links to those right wing sites John Hawkins thinks you should be reading. The above list is my attempt to gain entry into that exclusive club.
21. (supplemental) They could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
22. (supplemental) They could suck golfball through a garden hose.
I clicked on the link and didn’t see any liberals sucking, and that’s what I really wanted to see. Since I’m on a conference call with a really hot-sounding chick.
Or is that wrong?
You failed to list anything about Jesus smiting them.
You’re not fooling anybody.
Karl Rove: You’ve learned well, my young apprentice.
Half-hearted? Nay. More like ‘qualifies for that little sticker so one can park in the blue-lined space at the Buy-a-new-Nikon-for-Glenn-Reynolds Pancake Breakfast’.
Time to go back to reading James Wolcott, and waiting for the day he’ll write about strangling his cats after an overdose of Nyquil and Brie…
Whadya mean ResurrectionSong isn’t on his list.
Son of a damnit.
Ah! Finally. Keyword is special “nizzle”. Was waiting for “suck”, but, have another agenda.
I picture Hawkins looking down at a smoking liberal chick and saying, “Stop sucking that this instant or I’m calling the police.” But I could be wrong.
“Yes, they suck the life right out of this country, becuase liberalism is a life-hating culture of death.”
“They don’t just suck, they suck for the other side.”
“They sure do, but as usual the MSM is covering for them.”
“Well, that Oliver Willis guy can sure suck down those milkshakes.”
Yeah, I don’t have anything near as good as Brendan did, but all the other Sean(Shawn)s are here and I was feeling left out.
About the last sentence of the footnote: Why?
Why? Because how can I be a real conservative until I’m given the stamp of approval by one of the major conservative clearing houses?
Answer: I can’t.
Oh. And LIBERALS SUCK!
Hmmm. Yesterday you were indirectly attacked as a Party Enforcer, today you’re not even a conservative. You just can’t win, Jeff.
THE KINGMAKERS HAVE SPOKEN!
Feh! “Goldstein” is first in Googleland.
23. According to Jeff Gannon’s 8” GAY PORN COCK OF LIES(tm), “They suck OK, I give them 3.5 out of 5 stars.”
You know, I’m so conservative my man and I only do it missionary style. And no one links my blog either.
My wife, now SHE’S the kinky one.
I really need to meet this conference call girl, man oh man.
Jeff, you forgot to list some variant of “…like Ted Kennedy on a canned ham”, which would immediately grant you lifetime conservative tenure.
Sure. Have Michael Moore on a spare rib already, though.
Just remember, you still can’t join until you’ve read “BLOG” . . . (t/w: justice!)
Technically, you have 21 answers there. When you have ties (like #11), traditionally the next number will be two away. In this instance, it would be #13.
Excuse me now. I have a stick to purge from my ass.
I thought the same thing. After all, breaking with tradition isn’t very conservative. Could be the issue that puts you over the top.
Just sayin’.
Howard Dean: RRRRRAAAARRRGGHHHHHHgghhhhhhhh!!!!
Keep punching the “Dean is Crazy” button too.
I mean, just for fun…
All you have to do is attack other conservative bloggers for not being conservative enough. And be vicious. Say stuff about their mothers. I suggest you start with the Commissar. Or Bill. He’s a closet pinko for sure
I picture Hawkins looking down at a smoking liberal chick and saying, “Stop sucking that this instant or I’m calling the police.†But I could be wrong.
He stole my line, and modified it, Dubs. The line is, “If you don’t stop that in half an hour I’m gonna whisper for help!”
I’m sorry, I can’t comment on this post, as it wasn’t listed on conservativegrapevine, and therefore, it wasn’t worth reading, so I haven’t read it. I’m a true free thinker that only reads what is laid out in front of me. I don’t have time to bother with with you until you’re officially approved.
Hawkins? Well, you know what Groucho said about joining a club.
If you whine a little more, and maybe post some more recipes, you could always join the Cotillion.
You forgot the all time Dick Cheney/George W. Bush perfect response to that one, to wit
“Big time”