I’m out of creamer. Shit.
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Rant beginning with the evils of creamer devolving into a non-specific tirade against the left and those on the right who simply don’t take being conservative seriously enough…and Jesus dammit, don’t forget Jesus.
Oh man… that’s the WORST! Did you already make the coffee? I hate when you make a whole pot of coffee only to find that you don’t have sugar and/or creamer…
Try milking the armadillo.
Eeeewwww…
If you can’t keep cream in your house in this, The Land Of Plenty, then the terrorists have already won.
For God’s sake, man. Milk the armadillo! Do it for America!
*Spam word: provided. You evil genius.
A man without backup cream is a man whose commitment to conservative principles is, at best, suspect.
Because of THE HYPOCRISY!!!!!!
i think we’re missing the obvious problem here. what kinda of CITIZEN JOURNALIST puts cream in his coffee!? a WUSSY one, that’s what!
i prefer my coffee black, like my soul.
Creamer?? I hardly knew ‘er!!
Rant beginning with the evils of creamer increasing in shrillness and including in elements of corporate American practices of homogenizing everything into one big corporation that we will one day all serve devolving into a non-specific tirade against the right and those on the left who simply don’t take grass roots seriously enough…and Che` dammit…don’t forget Che`.
The password is “friend.”
You Big-Time bloggers. . .shee.
WELL DON’T LEAVE US HANGING!!! Post update(s)!
P.S. I take my coffee bitter and murky—like my men.
I’M OUTRAGED!!!
Bush lied about coffee creamer ! He clearly said we’d find French Vanilla non-dairy creamer here and we find none. NONE! How long are you brainwashed religious freak nazi righties going to keep following this anti-Christ ?
Before we can believe you are truly out of creamer, we need to see corroboration from at least two other non-anonymous sources.
Two Words: Jeff Gannon
Someone just told me you can’t milk a boy armadillo. Is this true? Because if it is, someone told me a big fat fib back in high school.
Well, I like my coffee like I like my women.
Tied up in burlap and thrown over a mule by Juan Valdez.
Turing word: meet
It’s hard to meet the kind of woman I like…
Damn! I wish I had gone to high school with you. I can’t begin to list all the big fat fibs I would have told you.
When I has living in Texas, I heard an interesting, and allegedly true, story about armadillos.
Apparently some college kids made a sport of catching armadillos (if memory serves, this happened at Texas A&M, go figure). The trick is to provoke the armadillo’s defensive “curled-up” posture where it only presents its armor, at which point you can just pick them up. Not so easy, because their first defense mechanism is to run, and they are pretty darn fast (I can confirm this, having chased a few out of my yard).
So, the young scholars caught an armadillo and tossed it into someone’s dorm room. When the armadillo finally uncurled, it resorted to its third defense mechanism, which is to run around like crazy while shitting on everything in sight. Apparently this is pretty effective, because the room was quickly evacuated and the armadillo was given a clear escape lane out of the dorm.
Moral of the story, don’t look to the armadillo when you run out of creamer.
Dude, you obviously forgot the sixteenth rule of coffee: “no creamer, use whiskey.”
Uh, yeah, I’m of Irish descent—why do you ask?
Turing: ways—ve haff vays uff trinken d’ kaffee…
You know, when something distressing like that happens I always ask myself “ What would Anna Nicole do?”
Jeff, do not – I repeat, do not try to substitute malted milk powder for Cremora in a pinch. I speak from bitter personal experience.
Turing word – “does,” as in “does horrible things to coffee.”
You know, Jeff, if you had convinced your wife to breast feed, you’d have a ready supply of creamer for just such an emergency.
(Turing: “Class” As in, “In telling this joke, it is apparent I have no class.”)