For three or four days this week, a crab apple tree in front of the house was in full bloom, our lawn and walkway covered in soft pink petals, a beautiful delicate carpet of fallen crab apple blossoms that completely mesmerized my little boy.
But I don’t think that makes him gay. More curious, I’d guess. Because he’s still kind of new and all.
Developing….
What? No pictures?
AS A CITIZEN JOURNALIST I DEMAND PICS OF THE GAY PORN TREE OF LIES!
Ummm… for research purposes, of course.
I can’t find the firewire cord for my camera. Which is pissing me off, because I have some good Satchel picks I want to post.
Does he perk up to Broadway show tunes? Is he already fussy about his hair?
the kid’s fashnikit. I don’t even know how to spell that word, but that’s how it sounds.
Jeff,
He could be waiting for the fruit, which is excellant ammo for wrist rockets and sling shots. But I’m sure he wouldn’t use them in a gay way.
He got it from his Dad.
Is he meticulous about his Oshkosh B’Gosh jumpsuits? Did he insist on staying up past his bedtime on Oscar night?
not that there’s anything wrong with that..
could be worse, he could have chewed the buttons off your camera.
It is my understanding that Satchmo (mind if I call him that, Jeff? It’s like were family, here) is a young boy, Maggie, not a young puppy.
Or are you relating personal experience here?
What if it just sounds gay?
What about… HOMOPHONIA???
Of course, the premise is based on the idea that a true manly straight macho man cannot possibly be an aesthete as well, which in itself is an untrue stereotype.
Damn straight, Dave!
Speaking of Satchell, how old is the little guy these days?
Kids, sniff, they grow up so fast!
Satch is almost 16 months. Running around like a little nut in his mommy’s high heels.
Lloyd,
I think that brings up an interesting point. What if he throws the fruit like a girl? Or, instead of throwing them, makes them into an attractive, color-coordinated fruit spread? Would encouraging this behavior make him more likely to be gay, and contrariwise encouraging him to be next Nolan Ryan instead of the next Julia Childs less so? Or is gayness a predetermined genetic outcome, daintily jerking his marionette-limbs toward an inevitable fashion-sensible man loving destiny? Would it make any difference if he spent a week at Neverland Ranch? Who among us could claim to know?
Queer Eye for the Toddler Guy. I smell ratings!
(or maybe just a well-used diaper)
He probably just appeared to be mesmerized by the pink blossoms.. What he was actually doing is peering intently at the ground looking for fallen twigs or sticks he could use as make believe guns… to shoot the bad guys and communists with.. I mean terrorists.. its terrorists now, not communists I guess.. communists are so 60s Bay of Pigish…
Turing word: until
As in: …. until he is old enough to buy real ones…
16 months, huh? Too soon to display any interest in summering in Provincetown, MA, I’d guess.
Does he know all the words to Copacabana (At The Copa)?
And our crabapple tree had pinker blossoms then yours! And was quite eye catching! But in the summer it was my space ship….(another example of a budding military member with latent tendencies???)
Awww, they are kids for so short a time….and it is all so new to them for even less time then that.
Are you absolutely certain that JEFF GANNON’S GAY COCK is not up in that tree someplace?
18 months to 2 yrs is the absolute most adorable age in childhood. PLEASE ENJOY IT!
OHHHHHH! I could have just eaten them up then. Such a joy. They make you notice wonderful things like fallen crab apple blossums (which was what you were really trying to say here but just couldn’t bear to be mushy, could you?)
You homophobes sicken me. Next thing you know, Jeff will be feeding him to the neocon Hitler-Pope. This is all gob-smackingly vile!
well, yeah, my puppy snacked on my camera the other night. but, it was my understanding that small children like to put things in their mouths. i’ve been told i’d eat the little dirt squares my dad’s shoes left on the floor. and my husband had a bad habit of eating rocks as a toddler.
Dave, it would make an enormous difference if he were to spend time at Neverland Ranch, because at least one person on-staff there (and quite possibly the owner) would find his body ventilated. By bullet holes
And Satchel would be straight for life.
He’s not gay.
He’s the messiah.
you are a Sick Bastard….
But I meant that in the nicest way….