Thanks for everything—but especially for all the diaper changes. Because there’s nothing worse than growing up with a raw, chapped ass.
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Except maybe growing up dirt poor with a raw, chapped ass.
Man, no one’s around today. I guess everyone is with their mother, at a restaurant, paying an exorbitant amount for that special “Mother’s Day Menu”.
Or growing up dirt-poor with a raw, chapped ass, and an uncle named Ernie.
Parental Advisory: Please know that sometime in your future, you may be required to change your mother’s diapers.
Word.
Only if you’re very, very good do you get that privilege.