From amusingfacts.com:
After trying everything, including ocelot poop, snake shed and musk, the Dallas, Texas, zoo could not get rare ocelots to breed until they used Calvin Klein men’s cologne.
Rumors that the female ocelot got drunk on Stoli Vanilla and let the spice-splashed male woo her with a lot of breezy chat about New Zealand wines and the films of Antonioni could not be confirmed—though I have a friend who swears that such talk, along with a J Crew cranberry v-neck (with a striped buttondown and a nice twill trouser), will easily get the job done these days.
Speaking of randy ocelots, how ‘bout the latest “Say Anything” girl?
The latest Say Anything girl looks decidedly underage. In the face.
Yeah, I’m gay, and she’s even turning me on.
Thanks, Gail. I feel dirty now.
The latest Say Anything girl is Adriana Lima, 24 year-old Brazilian Supermodel and Victoria’s Secret Angel.
And personally, I feel snookered when I click on the Say Anything ad and just find a blog with no naughty pictures.
I’m probably the only one around who even noticed her face.
Bill, you actually research these ladies?
Nope. Really good memory, exponentially enhanced by the influence of T & A.
Plus, I’ve long considered Lima the hottest woman on the planet. Stunning eyes.
Whatever happened to that Chinese babe, Ziyi Zhang? You’re dumping her for the Brazilian underwear model?
Oooh, that’s a tough call. Have to go with Lima.
Strange, to me it’s the Dusty girl who looks underage … in the face.
From the neck down, now…
Has Goldstein been watching Sixteen Candles again?
From the movie: (Grandma Dorothy is cooking breakfast while Grandpa Howard is on the phone with the police department.)
Grandpa Howard: (into phone) What was he wearing? Well…he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes. (listens) Hmmm…no he’s not retarded.
___
Coincidence? You be the judge. However, Donger got some on the first night he was in America, so maybe Goldstein’s friend is onto something.
Spam word: zipper.
Heh.
OK, Jeff, since you mentioned it, and free of charge, the apex of humor:
How do you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate its tit a lot.
All yours…
Heh! jsmith that’s good!