…I never used to like asparagus, but now I do. How crazy is that…?
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Update: Thursday, March 17, 3:56pm, while standing at the urinal…
Now I remember why I didn’t like asparagus…
Asparagus is such an elitist food.
What does he think about Belgian endives?
You can take it down a peg or two by calling it “gus.” Pisses it off no end.
It doesn’t take strength (t-word) for me to avoid eating asparagus.
.. but then I never much liked Sean either until that day I got him in that crazy Colmesian headlock… Go figure…
But then again, Alan, Ann Coulter kinda looks like an aspargus.
Asparagus might be elitist, but it’s the only cooked food that the etiquette books say you can eat with your fingers.
Okay, okay. I’ve eaten asparagus with my dainty little manicured fingers in actual public. I’ve also corrected people on the pronunciation of vichisoisse because that’s the kind of sanctimonious bee-ach I am.
So how would one mispronounce ‘vichisoisse’ ? Give me a phonetic example.. I’m thinking that if I wasn’t at least a little familiar with French pronunciation and I ran into that word, I wouldnt go near it with a ten foot pole.. but then I have an odd aversion to making myself look completely ignorant and illiterate. Most people dont seem to suffer from that same aversion.. Call me Phobic.
Ghost in the Machine says: perhaps
as in: Perhaps I dont always succeed, but I do try not to.
Vee-Shee-Swahz
As opposed to Vee-Shee-Swa
You go right over to my blog, young man, and see what Saint Patrick has to say about that.
P.S. My daughter thinks the baboon is funny.
Swahz is correct, that is.
Precisely. Because there’s an ‘e’ on the end, one pronounces the ‘s’. No ‘e’ on the end, don’t pronounce the ‘s’. Impress your friends and family. Or come of as a sanctimonious bee-ach. But definitely eat asparagus with your fingers in a restaurant. Helps you separate the men from the boys. Etiquettely speaking.
OK..OFF TOPIC – Infinite Jest
So Jeff, how <style of writing to the nth degree.. or as the famous writer Bruce Lee noted ..” Its the style of no style..”. I imagine that the way he writes is the way he thinks… and with Infinite Jest at just under 1000 dense pages.. I figure he’s <i>manic/depressive</i> or something as well.. or a speed freak like Jack K. I cant imagine being able to imitate him…
J/H
I got cut off!!!
should read;
So Jeff, how DOES one go about imitating David F Wallace? I mean the cat takes the whole Kerouacian ‘Stream of Conciousness’thing to about the nth degree. or as the famous writer Bruce Lee noted ..†Its the style of no style..â€Â. I imagine that the way he writes is the way he thinks… and with Infinite Jest at just under 1000 dense pages.. I figure he’s manic/depressive or something as well.. or a speed freak like Jack K. I cant imagine being able to imitate him…
J/H
Who is David Fucking Wallace, people? I’m tired of being kept in the dark.
DFW is quite deliberate. But his style is carefully crafted to appear, at times, extemporaneous.
To imitate him, one need only read him and practice, I guess.
Gail. Try this.
You know what really gets my bloomers in a twist, though, Ana? When people say “oh zhoo” or “oh joo” for au jus and use the whole thing as a noun phrase, like “You want some Oh Jooo on that Eyetalian Beef?”
Thanks, Jeff. I guess I could have looked it up myself, but it was more fun to squawk.
I say gravy.
And isn’t Bloomington in Indiana?
Bloomington is in Indiana, but Effingham is in Illinois. When we drive through Effingham, we all enjoy shouting “Please pass the EFFING HAM!!!”
So, then, he’s all about sad lostness. Think I’ll stay away from that.
I dont know.. How much is intrinsically Wallace and how much is a deliberate style that he’s set out to create..? Has his style evolved over the years? (he’s not very old)His writing reminds me of a manic persons thought process.. a hundred simultaneous thoughts pouring through your mind like sieve.. some tangented.. some looping.. and others complete in their entirety. Huge ideas demanding release..Also, reading his comments I’m reminded of a narcissistic personality. hmmm
but then I do tend to see all creativity as being the result of some mental anomaly and not a learned skill.
Turing word: wrong
Heh… I could be…
I’ll have some of that there potato-leek soup. And a beef sandwich, dipped.
sammich
So how would one mispronounce ‘vichisoisse’
Gail: You’re an American, right? That means you can pronounce it any way you got-damn well please. “Aw juss,” too, for that matter.
Hey, you know how you make vichysoisse? First, you take a leek …
and oh yeah, no self respecting man would even eat asparagus let alone in some foofy little goddam restaurant.
Well, then, I guess I gots no self-respect, cuz I loves me some aspergrass. And I actually use an umbrella when it’s pouring.
Don’t sleep in the subway darling
Don’t stand in the pouring rain
Well hey Craig, on you it looks good.
Stop it, you’re makiing me blush. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I really like it when I can be in touch with my feminine side.
Is that the front or the back?
Like it matters.
I think this answers the unspoken question in everyone’s mind:
Well, I’ve been wondering.
Ha! Gail, I love the fact that you think we’ve all heard that asparagus urine is linked to higher intelligence. I must have missed that class. Although, it does make perfect sense, since I love asparagus.
Some make it a point not to go ‘round smelling pee. Me, for instance.
Craig, I never heard of it until I read the article. I was looking for something to explain what makes asparagus pee stinky.
Maybe you’re 10% Jewish
That was for Ana
I gotta test this…
::sniff::sniff::
ok..so what is urine supposed to smell like..
::sniff::sniff::
mine smells kinda like…you know. piss..
but you know..not like bum piss or anything..
Is that what asparagus pee smells like? Bums?
Probably not huh.. cuz then the bums would be all smart and they wouldnt be bums.. and some new non asparagus eating transients would become the bums.
until they found out that it was ok to eat asparagus with there fingers, then they’d eat…
This is giving me a headache.. Its a viscious cycle of bum redemption isnt it? Thats why we cant get rid of them..they keep replacing themselves and asparagus is the catalyst..
I say, here’s the final bum solution;
“stop the asparagus and we stop the bums”
Turing word: once
as in: once and for all… muhhahahahaha!
I think it’s the skunks. The skunks must put that chemical in the asparagus to turn humans into bums. Then when everyone is sleeping in cardboard boxes over a subway grating, the skunks take over.
It smells like green piss, silly.
Yes, that’s it, the Vast Right-Wing Skunk Conspiracy. We almost went with that name before we decided on “The Funky Sophomores.”
“Mind if we dance wif yo dates?”
See,metacaptan is found in asparagus, rotten eggs, onions, garlic, and in the secretions of skunks. Of all those, the most likely culprit is the skunk. Probably Pepe Le Pew. He’s a persistent little bastard, and he’s French.
“Do not be afraid of ze looove.”
And we all know, zee Frogs, they stink.
Hey.. I think youre onto to something Gail.. Skunks produce that odor.. Pepe Le Pew is a skunk.. Pepe Le Pew est Francais, aussi.. ergo, 100% of the French People stink like Skunks.. or… 100% of French people are behind 100% of the stinky bum piss.. or something..theres some tie between the French Surrender Monkeys, skunks & bum piss.. I feel like John Nash running yarn between newspaper and magazine articles.
You can teach your daughter a thing or two about becoming a conspiracy theorist..
Turing word: move
as in: allez allez! circuler !
BTW Jake, Laura was by herself at home when she used my laptop to sign on to my blog this afternoon. The whole “Take that PW people” was her own idea. I was at work when I saw her posting. She thought it was incredibly cool that you came online and talked to her.
hahahaha Hey Gail.. do me a favor and toss up another link to your site.. I have it at work but not at home and I cant find it in google..
Oh, I did read the St Patricks post.. but I commented in that long winded piece on “unanswerable question”..
J/H
Turing word: says
as in: Jane says.. I’m done with Sergio..
For Christ’s sake, will you guys get a room?
Jake, my site is scribalerror.blogspot.com but you can also click on my name here in the PW comments.
scribal error -or- scribal terror
wow.. deja vu…
Error. Figure it out.