Congressional steroid probe begins.
****
update: If it’s any indication of the overall quality of these hearings, a member of Congress just asked renowned Cato scholar Jose Canseco whether or not the government should consider universal drug testing for athletes at all levels of competition.
On my tax dollar.
A note to House Panel members: Jose Canseco is an expert on hitting the belt-high fastball, sticking himself with a needle, and banging Oakland A’s groupies five at a time in a bygone era of Erasure music and mullets. Beyond that, he’s a self-serving egomaniac and a dullard trying desperately—and unsuccessfully—to sound intelligent.
You may as well be asking a porterhouse steak to conjugate Latin verbs.
****
update 2: John Cole doesn’t think much of the hearings, either.
I can almost hear the carnival music emanating from the House Government Reform Committee all the way over here in Austin. Maybe Dan Burton can make a cameo appearance and goad McGwire into hitting baseballs into watermelons, making them explode.
first!
okay, I’m just trying to get my comment next to the Say Anything girl…
turing word: area HA!
Bullseye!
This is your tax dollars at work.
Waddya think?
Harrison: It galls me to no end, anyway. Baseball? It’s a game. Congressional hearings on the deletorious effects of steroid use over a damn GAME. Was Bud Selig too busy today to take care of this?
Next up on the congressional roster: professional chess players who drink stimulants [Starbucks] for mental acuity. [Dusty Brand] clothing models who use tanning beds to increase their attraction. Bloggers who have an unfair advantage thanks to a teaching background.
And as I look across the Say Anything blogad, I see other important and yet somehow unfair advantages that a certain group possesses.
Bud Selig is a gutless moron who has done nothing positive for the game of baseball in his tenure as commissioner. AND he has HORRIBLE hair. Horrible.
I never used steroids. I gained twenty pounds of muscle mass from last season to this season drinking those protein shakes and wrestling with bears.
Mmmmmm. Protein shake.
Well, it’s silly, but of course the more time they spend holding worthless hearings the less time they have to put their hand in my pocket.
Turing word: free. I dunno… “Steroids want to be free?”
I’ll like to say “Unbelievable”, but of course, it isn’t…could be worse.
Should Canseco go to prison, he would demand conjugate visitation rights.
It pleases me to see others in this community acknowledge the greatness of the “Say Anything” gal.
Simply perfection itself.
If I were a pro athlete and the mandatory drug tests that Congress critter was talking about were to be administered by the “Say Anything” model and involved siginificant personal contact, I would march on Washington until the bill was passed.
Let the stupid poison themselves with whatever floats their boat. Eat your Big Macs. Here, have some more meth. Couch potato until your ass melds with the sofa cushion. G’head. It’s called natural selection. What the world needs now is more Natural Selection.
That side of beef was just upgraded to a Porterhouse, now the verbs are Latin, and there’s nothing about auto repair. I always wonder if I’m imagining things when that happens. Maybe it’s the Zithromax (strep, thank you).
“You may as well be asking a porterhouse steak to conjugate Latin verbs.”
Or a slab of BBQ brisket (with a side of rice pilaf) to do carburetor repair.
(With apologies to Jeff’s pre-finalized post)
It was worth watching these hearings just to hear Schilling slam the damn Democrats.
However, for us life-long Cardinal fans, this is a dark day. Bob Gibson would’ve dusted any bastard who even thought about cheating! Chin music, baby. Chin music.
BTW, I love it when Ana smiles after a protein shake. In my god-forsaken world, Ana looks just like the Say Anything girl.
Smokin’!
..or the blotter acid.. blotter acid will do that to.. just so you know..
George Will (who would make a great commish
of Baseball) had a column in last Monday’s WaPo
that’s worth reading. Doesn’t speak well of the whole thing.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A32589-2005Mar13.html
Yang: Protein Shake. Watch it buster or I’ll have the Dental Board on your ass.
Yin: Uh, I mean, of course I look like the Say Anything Girl. How sweet of you to notice.
Ana, and do you too have a sweat spot between your breasts? I know the guys haven’t noticed that since they are looking elsewhere, but it is grossing me out.
So I got to the Say Anything blog- and not one babe. Just a picture of Arafat. Blech. False advertising.
Dear God. I’m so glad that was Sparky asking. It would have totally creeped me out if it had been one of the XY chromosome carriers.
No. No sweat. And they did notice it a number of posts back but they rationalized it into a heart-shaped something or another. Interesting psychological phenomenon, idol worship.
I don’t mean to step on the bit, but isn’t that just a shadow?
And for the record, I once overheard a porterhouse steak say, “Amo, amas, amat. Amatus, amatus, amunt.”
Whoops, now that I think about it, it’s “amatis.” I still remember my eighth-grade Latin teacher at St. Albans, Mr. Prat. His name was Howard Prat, and we called him “Howie.” Not to his face, of course. He was the cause of my spending virtually every Saturday that year in detention. When someone said something stupid, or something he didn’t like, he’d say, “Ah, CRAPOLA!” He was a pistol of an old coot, he was.
furor scribendi
You writers are all alike.
Indicative Conjunctive
Present
sum
es
est
sumus
eÃŒÂstis
sunt
Present
sim; fuam
sīs; fuas
sit; fuat
sīmus
sītis
sint
Imperfect
eram
erÄÂs
erat
erÄÂÃŒÂmus
erÄÂÃŒÂtis
erant
Imperfect
essem; forem
essēs; forēs
esset; foret
essÄ“ÌÂmus
essÄ“ÌÂtis
essent; forent
I’ve never been able to decline breast sweat. Even in greek.
There’s nothing like declining breast sweat, if you know what I mean, but the breasts have to be at just the right angle.
WHO DARES QUESTION THE IMPECCABLE BEAUTY OF MY DARLING “SAY ANYTHING” GIRL?
THIS WILL NOT STAND!
And it has nothing to do with the “hypocrisy”.
Damned ignorant porterhouses. A good t-bone would have known the plural of amo, amas, amat is amamus, amatis, amant.
aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus
spam: enough. Oh, alright.
Come on. It’s been about a zillion years since I took Latin!
Never took Latin.
I have a book. HA!
aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus
sometimes even good Homer sleeps
Just teasing the steak, Craig.
Bite me, Jeff
Romanes Eunt Domus
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian-08.htm
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
Anyone see where those wacky Pythons (remaining wacky pythons) are going to do another project?
Hope it doesn’t suck.
Run Away! Run Away! Gail has a catapult and she’s hurling runts and bundt pans! Aiiiiii. The humanity. (For this I went to college.)
When catapults are outlawed only outlaws will have catapults.
is what it says
Yes, it actually does.
Spamword, “between,” as in, if I get between that catapult and that bundt cake, I’ll be screwed.
Are we having fun yet?
Spamword, “always.” It really is creepy, you know that?
It’s always fun when the whole gang gets together.
But where’s Diana?
Hot date.
Again? I get tired just trying to imagine Diana’s social life.
HA! (putting hand over mouth)
Spamword “bill,” as in, “No, I’ll get that.”
Having fully explored the adorable sweat stain nestled between the Say Anything girls immaculate cleaveage, may we now turn our attention to the orange phallus above the perky right breast of the Dusty girl?
Disgust among yourselves.
It’s a flashlight.
That’s a flashlight, ferchrissakes. Or a dildo. It could be a dildo.
Yeah, it’s a flashlight, but come on, how many flashlight-shaped dildos have you seen? Not that I have, but I’m just askin’.
I think that question is better left to an OBGYN.
Yeah, but he has to hold it in his mouth, you know.
Oh, for Christ’s sake. Spamword, “piece”
Cum catapaultus proscripti et tu portendi phallus corborundum
wordiness: “cold” – “Man, thats just cold”
“Outlaws that mess with Gails catapault may get their dickies ground off”….
word soup: ideas “Is this another one of your brilliant ideas Dan….”
It could also be a large orange dildo with a small rocket motor attached. Complete with “O” rings. . .
And by “O” you mean…..
And by the way, I wouldn’t mess with Gail’s catapault either.