I suppose I could guest blog for you. But then again, ‘s probably not a good idea.*
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Fellating a dwarf monkey, Jeff?? How do I get THAT image out of my head now?
Oh, it’s easy, Carin. Just remind yourself that a lousy writer put it there, and it will melt away out of sheer embarrassment.
Wow. People dissing free ice cream. Not very nice.
HEY. DID YOU USE REAL VANILLA BEANS IN THIS? SPEAK UP, YOU BASTARD! I EXPECT REAL VANILLA BEANS IN MY FREE ICE CREAM!
The Miserably Stupid opine again. Thank God they don’t get you or they’d be here. Being stupid.
I sure hope PETA doesn’t get wind of that dwarf monkey deal you got goin’.
Why did you even respond? It makes you look defensive, and you don’t have to be. I was just about to respond for you, and there you were. You don’t need to do that, that’s why we’re here.
Jeff,
I think you screwed up dude. I would definately have a beer with Jace instead of fellating a dwarf monkey. I mean, thats gay, right?
Just so we’re clear, I would perform cunnilingus on a virgin panda, instead of chatting with the loathsome bore any day of the week.
“Pompous earth tit”! Finally a phrase I can slip in to conversations with my Rastafarian friends. Thanks, Jeff.
Did you read Andy’s comment. Good Andy. Good.
Chris is obviously bestialitalhomophobe. And a bad writer, too.
How can you these people comment on your website, Jeff?
Dance, monkey, dance!
Stephen brought you a monkey back from Meh-hee-co?
Cool gift.
I wouldn’t have a beer with Jace. I definitely wouldn’t blow a monkey. But I might have a throw at that jan. I mean, she’s gotta be over 18 by now.
Will the monkey get along with the dolphin and the armadillo?
You could guest post on my blog,
if I had one.
But I don’t,
oh, nevermind…
Well, Jeff, at least you were more coherent than you-know-who.
Stephen,
I am not a bestialitalhomophobe! By the way, are you sure you weren’t in Tijuana?
Don’t let it get to you, Jeff.
As you know, there are more horses’ asses than there are horses.
Unfortunately, many of them can type and they make it a full-time job trying to tear down your mansion in order to adorn their own hovel.
Vodkapundit’s a good read, but he sure does have some fuckin humor impaired wankers running around over there.
Jeff… dude.. I’d be more worried if the VP crowd said they actually understood your humor and liked it… They dont deserve Protein Wisdom They havent worked for it..They havent earned it..
This is post-modern humor, not lowest common denominator..
Turing word: greater
… exactly
I may not agree with most of what you say, but I’ve always enjoyed your humor and writing.
You guys are all very kind, but it’s simply not enough: I DEMAND THAT YOU PAY TRIBUTE TO MY UNIQUE GENIUS! PROVIDE ME WITH CAKES AND PIES AND TRINKETS, AND WINE AND FRESH HORSES FOR ALL MY BAND OF MERRY MEN!
Okay, FINE!!
It’s on the way. Wait for it.
Hmmm…suspiciously, Jeff failed to demand any lusty wenches.
Maybe his willingness to gargle the monkey peen ain’t so strange after all.
Trinkets? I’d better see something good before I send trinkets.
“Gargle the monkey peen” would be an excellent name for a rock band.
This is embarrasing, but you should know that I’ve taken all of my dead cat’s chewed toys (even refilling the empty catnip ones) and arranged them around his old half-shell catnapper with That Picture of you in the center. I would use candles and incense but the whole thing is extremely flammable as is.
Told you.
I for one have written “Jeff is a dreamy citizen journalist” all over my daughter’s school notebooks. Diagonally.
HA! Novice groupies.
I’m having “Protein” tattooed on one buttock and “Wisdom” on the other. Even as I type. Is what I’m doing.
’Cmon.
Alright. When anyone slams Jeff, you can just turn the other cheek.
I’ve stunned you. I see that now. You’re in awe.
So if we’re providing the pie and trinkets and wine and horses for your Merry Men.. Who the hell are your Merry Men ?
Sean, gargling the monkey peen is sounding more and more likely… Just how merry are these Merry Men ?
Baboon Savant
Turing word: many
Many merry men or many monkey peens?
Hey,yer name Goldstein?
Got yer horses. Where d’ya want ‘em?
I’m having the words ‘PROTEIN WISDOM’ tatooed across my knuckles in tough outlaw biker style.. Fortunately I have 7 fingers on my right hand and 6 on my left..so this works out great …
Would Anne Murray’s new hit CD “All of Me” with 31 Hits Spanning Her Entire Career be considered an appropriate trinket? For instance?
Anne Murray rocks!
I assure you that if I were ever lucky enough to have you as a guest blogger,all three of my readers would understand exactly what you were up to.
[Turing: areas. WTF? Is this thing broken?]
Love you Gail, but I’m thinking Social Services may be paying you a visit soon.
Shiny Trinkets for all of Jeff’s Merry Men! Anne Murray all around!
You think she’ll go for that?
I’ve also been thinking–thinking mind you–of giving Jeff my first-born son. He works at a natural foods store and tours with a punk band. And he’s been living at home for the past few months, so…. Just a thought.
Her first segment on Johnny Carson was X rated.
We all learned what “Fanny” meant.
Too hot for words.
Slap Slap Slap Slap Slap Slap Slap
I don’t know what all you people are talking about, but I’m pretty sure I have a crush on Ana right now.
– D’yah get the feeling that the new Dusty babe lives in a Greek neighborhod….
eord soup: called – “Rear defense measures” is what its called…
Well I am not gonna let Ana beat me on this one! I’m naming my breasts “Protein” and “Wisdom!”
So there, girlfriend!
Lusty Wenches?
Check.
I see your two breasts and raise you two testicles.
BBH raises his large weathered hand … “I’d volunteer to do the christening RWS…well, long as I could take my time”…..CITIZEN JOURNALISTS DEMAND BREASTS OF ALL REAL VANILLA ONLY, IGNORING THE SAGGING FORTUNES OF FALSE BREASTS OF HYPOCRICY….ok….I feel much better now…I’m done…..
words a-poppin: waiting – as in “til hell freezes over”
You see RWS’s breasts and your testicles go up?Your equipment is piped all to hell, JW.
Shit. Now I’VE got a crush on Ana, too.
All in favor of declaring Stephen Green “bank robbery stupid” kinda cute say “Playa road trip.”
You say this but your notebook still says “I heart Sparkle.” Diagonally.
No, Ana. I have a heart on for you.
Playa road trip! He’s sooooooo dreamy I’d be stupid enough to rob a bank for him. He could also have my first-born son if Jeff doesn’t want him. Otherwise he goes back on e-bay.
“Anne Murray rocks!”
Was that a Sheryl Crow dig?
JW, man boobs can’t be used to call real breasts.
CC–He was dissing Lil’ Kim. All about Lil’ Kim, buddy. Easy now.
They’re called manteats, thank you.
Man CANS. Not boobs. It’s funnier with those two nasaly “aaaa” sounds in there. Work with me, here.
What was the name of the bra that Kramer and George’s dad came up with? They had two names they were considering.
“Manzier” and “bro.” They settled on “bro.”
Heeyyyyy. You can’t just come in here and answer my trivia question. Even if Jeff did screw up your blog for eternity.
He can do whatever he damn well pleases because he’s “bank robbery stupid” kinda cute. Craig. Yeesh.
– You see. This is the very reason that people on the other continent laugh at us and say….”Ohhhh zezzuss zee’z nutzee Amerikaners, zay are zoh hotzee for zee boobies….oye’…”
JW, you have already used that line on me.
What a playa…
You know what I think is funny? That Jeff is obviously a very good hubby and promised himself that he won’t comment anything that sounds the least bit naughty to or about US girls. But you KNOW he reads this stuff and bangs his head on the keyboard WANTING to respond. Heh.
That is probably how his last computer crashed.
Ana’s right, you know. I pretty much can do whatever I want.
Now then, hon—you wanna help me put that to the test?
Channel two here has Seinfeld on at eleven. I was surfing a couple of weeks ago and happened to hit one, and it was one of the classics. The next night I popped in just for giggles, and it was another classic. So I’ve been checking in every night to see what they’re showing, and I finally realized why I watched it faithfully every week. They’re all fucking classics.
“The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”
We are only here for his amusement. I don’t think that he feels even remotely compelled to comment. We just peel the grapes. Sigh. <Adjusts harem pants.>
Ana just fainted…
Ahhh, another game.*
“I can’t spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over the excruciating minutia of every single daily event.”
Episode?? Anyone…Bueller…anyone?
Someone explain to Jeff’s hot friend that we’re Jeff’s Bunnies and he’s not allowed to touch the Bunnies.
Ana, he’s going to think that all the girls here are like that.
And really, it’s just you. hahahahahaha.
Like what? Exactly. Craig.
You know……easy. A pushover for a man with a nice cut to his jib. Which would probably require a doctor, if I knew what a jib was.
On the other hand he is dreamy.
Craig. Silly boy. I’m not easy. I’m married. I’m like Fort Knox. Ask my husband. And so long as I’m making the women laugh,
Ladies, back me up. Jeff’s hot friend. Hot enough to fry chicken or simply melt butter?
Do i need to use smiley faces more, or something?
Jeff only lets you tat PW on yur ass if you do it for free…….not, like if yur trying to raise money for a piece of important computer equipment like say a digi cam…..even if you GIVE HIM FOR FREE….your support for certain computer equipment……in hopes that it just might make him a good writer someday……yannow………..
No. Just more actual humor. <runs away dodging tomatoes. crowd hissing.>
Ouch.
Craig. You hung the “kick me” sign….
You said “hung.”
Well, Craig. If you’re hung you can get away with whatever you damn well please, too.
She’s right, you know, Craig.
You kids don’t make me stop this car.
I resent the implication that I am in any way less of a hussy than Ana. And we’re not Bunnies, we’re Angels.Sparkle can be an Angel too. There’s no Iron Law of Angeltude that says there can only be three.
And Ana, I think you could fry an egg on that boy.
Oh golly,my spamword is congress.
Ana, Stephen? Gay. Secretly drinks Shirley Temples and tries to get me to pay for them by putting his hand on my knee.
I was suggesting that Craig might be hung. Everyone needs a schtick. There are worse than that. Craig? That your schtick? As it were?
Yeah, I like Angels better too. Girls if you want to see Stephen at his best. Check this out.
http://www.resurrectionsong.com/archives/003883.html
Gail–It’s breakfast somewhere.
Don’t touch the bunnies…don’t you all remember this from Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions? Huh?
I decided not to accept Wandering Bore’s smug and self-serving apology. Fuck him. I don’t countenance prickly dorks.
Would you countenance them in a boat?
Would you countenance them with a goat?
I can barely countenance up to ten apples up on top while hopping on pop
Is Ana on fire tonight?
I think Ana’s on fire tonight.
Any hose innuendo should be left up to her husband.