…I bet if I grew a ‘stache, Coulter’d be on me like sandals on an A-rab…
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Recent Comments
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are you sure he’s actually capable of doing that? how often do you shave a corpse?
turing word: end
as in, how long ago did he meet his end?
Random Ann Coulter Thought:
…I bet if Colmes grew a ‘stache, he’d look like Floyd from “Rocky and Friends”….or was it Cloyd?
“Scrooch ‘im, Floyd!”
Skeletor
O/T Jeff, I have to point you to this.
…I bet if I grew a ‘stache, Coulter’d be on me like sandals on an A-rab…
Hannity….Hannity….Hannity….VOYEUR!!!….Hannity….
This is the most twisted and wrong thing I’ve seen in quite awhile:
Terri’s Feeding Tube on eBay
Turing word: cold. As in, “heartless bastard”.
Maybe one of you knows.. where exactly did they unearth Colmes from and how did Hannity convince the network execs that propping a mummified body, rictus grin and all, up at his desk and calling it a Liberal would be good tv ? I mean, I appreciate the sardonic humor angle and all but you have to admit it was risky.. that Hannity must have brass pair on him..
Now I’ve heard that Colmes was unearthed in an old Egyptian dig and kept in a box in a musty subbasement of the British Museum until janitors stumbled on him (literally) in 1996.. then again I’ve read elsewhere that it wasnt Egypt, it was Arquipa Peru.. then elsewhere he was said to be the frozen Alps mummy.. in another he was a body dredged out of the sacrificial well at Chichen-itza or the a Celtic bog mummy… One report even claimed he was The Kenniwick Man unearthed right here in Washington State .. Hannity & Colmes premiered 1996.. Kenniwick man was unearthed 1996.. coincidence ?
Anyway, does anyone know for certain what the truth is? And I’d also like to know how they make him appear to talk at times.. I mean, is that what Jim Hensons puppeteers are doing these days or is it just some guy that hides behind him with his hand inside moving his head and mouth and eyes like Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy..?
Finally, I’d love to ask Ann Coulter how she keeps a straight face while speaking with the thing.. I mean, you rarely see Hannity talking directly to Colmes.. probably because he’d crack up laughing.. but they make Ann do it all the time..and she makes it look almost as if she’s really conversing with it.. hahaha she must be a hell of an actress on top of lawyer, writer etc.
-Baboon Savant
I just searched ebay for “feeding tube”.
24 items, none matching the above.
Preferably a big Pancho Villa-style mustache. I’m picturing that in my head, and it’s giving me the giggles.
My informant tells me he’s actually Piltdown Man, AB. Which would make perfect sense, because…
I’ll let you have the punchline.
Jebus….spamword, “fact”
I saw a guy walking around behind a CNN broadcaster. He was holding up a sign that read mrbillshow.com and claimed to have Terri’s feeding tube for sale on ebay. Sick, just plain sick.
It’s a screen shot I got in an email, my buddy did the same search. Apparently the originator made the listing, took the shot, and took it down before eBay yanked is ID.
If Colmes had a big Panch Villa moustache, he would somewhat resemble Lee Van Cleef. Though I doubt Colmes could get his eyes to glint quite so menacingly.
The Coulter? You can’t handle the Coulter!
Eh. Wouldn’t be much left of that man if they mounted. Not much at all.
If Colmes grew a ‘stache, he wouldn’t look like Floyd from anything but the Andy Griffith Show.
Turing: science, as in Maybe he would look like Thomas Dolby in “She Blinded Me With Science”.
Haha…You guys crack me up
If Colmes grew a ‘stache, he wouldn’t look like Floyd from anything but the Andy Griffith Show.
Which is perfect, because although it wasn’t common knowledge, there was a gay fraternity that met in the back room at the barber shop.
Not that there’s….well, you know.
If you act now, mustache rides are inly $19.95!
Er, “only” $19.95.
Although “inly” might work as well, considering…
… but wait… thats not all… call with your mastercard or visa in the next 5 minutes, we’ll DOUBLE your order for the same low price.. Thats Right! TWO Colmesian Mustache Rides for one low payment of only $19.95 !
CALL NOW ! 1-800-ALS-FACE
offer subject to change without notice. no refunds, not available to resident of TX, LA or OK
You know… the more of these Alan Colmes thoughts I read, the less random they seem.
swimdad
The Baboon really needs a blog of his own. I really enjoy him.
Colossus.. Is that you in there Bill..?
Turing word: french
Jeezuz.. ‘french’ finally comes up and I’m too tired to think of a witty line..
Colossus,you can also read the Baboon’s wit and wisdom at my blog, where I post some of his work as Jake’s Take and where he hangs out in the comments section. Hope the big guy doesn’t mind being pimped in this shameless manner.
Jake, Colossus is NOT Bill.
Heh. The ape said “sardonic”. Good joke.
Who knew they understood humor?
Spambuster: then
All this talk about a Pancho Villa ‘stache, and of course, what pops up in my mind? The term “Dirty Sanchez.”
For the sake of all that is holy, the words “Dirty Sanchez” and “Alan Colmes” should never be associated together.
Oh.. cool then Colossus.. thanks! I appreciate the encouragement.. sorry.. Bill on INDC jerks me around under aliases and makes me a bit paranoid..
Yes Mojo… Apes do read philosophy.. they do read philosophy! they just dont understand it…
Hey, I heard Michael Savage say that Terry Schiavo is a Jesus figure to the Far Right Christian faction. A Christ-like Martyr.. Maybe someone should preserve her feeding tube for future generations.. I mean, kind of like the Holy Grail or The Shroud of Turin.. A thousand years from now there may a History’s Mysteries about the Holy Feeding Tube of Shiavo .. How much do they want for that thing on Ebay ? Oh, and just this morning I made breakfast and lo and behold, the face of Shiavo appeared on my toast.. Its a miracle.. I’m going to wait a few days and let the value peak, then put it on Ebay and pay for my kid’s college education.
No, Alpha, I’m not INDC Bill, though I am a fan of his, too. The main difference: on my site, no Llama porn.
Actually, I think Colmes is probably a vampire. You never see him in the daytime, do you? Think about it!
.. come to think of it, I’ve never seen his reflection in a miror either… you might have something there..