The Jawa report is your one-stop link dump for news and commentary on Giuliana Sgrena, the anti-American Italian reporter taken hostage(?) in February and released today by her Iraqi captors, the little-known Islamic Jihad Organisation.
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update: Breaking: U.S. Fires on Freed Journalist
Thanks. And by ‘little known’ you mean ‘made up’, right?
Notice how Il Manifesto (Sgrena’s Communist paper) tries to make it out to be the evil Americans fault and not the fault of, say, the idiot driver who’s trying to blow past a US checkpoint?
Il Manifesto
Wait a minute… WHERE’S EASON JORDAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM!?!
Rep. Hinchey’s mind:
KKKarl Rove—>Jeff Gannon—>Eason Jordan—>Giuliana Sgrena
KKKarl Rove shot Sgrena!!!!!
::ssshhhhh:: Big Foot to Team Alpha. Big Foot to Team Alpha. Your mission is a ‘Go’.. I say again.. Your mission is a ‘Go’
:: Roger that Big Foot.. We are ‘Go’.. Team Alpha out.
Operator #1: Lisa.. we’re ‘go’ .. Have you i.d’d the target.
Operator #2: Roger that.. I have the Black Mercedes travelling east to west on Dirka-Dirka Blvd. Three occupants.. target is the female journalist in the right rear passenger seat.. You should have a clear shot in about 30 seconds.
Operator #1: I’ve got her Lis.. Get me a range.
Operator #2: I show 525 meters with 5 mph crosswind from the southeast.
Operator #1: Roger that.. Taking a shot.
::BAMMmmmm::
Operator #2: Target is down.. say again.. target is down.. Damn Joe..! nice shot.. that’ll get you a case of beer ! Her head came apart like a Freakin Halloween pumpkin !
Operator #1: thanks Lis.. One shot, one kill.. Let’s pack it up and di di.. Big foot’s only giving us a 15 minute window to clear the AO before they let the Jar Heads come in and do the obligatory sweep search for the shooter..
Operator #2: That’s a Rog, Joe.. Hey, wanna head on over to the Green Zone for some Shish Taouk and a Bud? Friday’s double hummous day..
Operator #1 : Sounds good..
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Journalist your game is through cause now you have to answer too,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Okay kids, today’s lesson:
Any questions?
She was stapled to the chicken.
No, I don’t get it either.
Aha, I see that the fucking Eye-tralians can screw up a one-car motorcade!
keyword, “basic”
Perhaps Iraqis should be operating roadblocks in their own country. That way, we won’t be blamed.
In all fairness, she is a communist.
What was it, I wonder, about the deliberate warning shots that the Italians found, you know, ambiguous?
Guido: “They’re a-shooting at us. Maybe we better stop, eh?”
Giovanni: “What are they a-shooting?”
Guido: “Whattaya mean, what are they a-shooting? They’re a-shooting guns!”
Giovanni: Keep a -driving. When-a they start a-shooting bullets, then-a we stop.”
Dudes, yall are COLD.
McGehee, hilarious, as usual.
She wasn’t killed right? I just heard one of the agents was.
I’m sorry about the Italian agent, but I think the idiot journalist was ultimately responsible for his death, since she clearly staged the whole melodrama for Il Manifesto….
TA – World Police, Part II
(Back at base at what was once the Pool House at Uday Hussein’s weekend Pleasure Palace in Baghdad’s Green Zone)
Spottswoode: Have a seat men.. you too Lisa & Sarah.. and you Gary.. I’ve called you all together today to let you know there’ll probably be some minor heat coming down soon regarding the shooting of that communist putana from Il Manifesto and the death of her handler.. Bad news Joe..it was her handler you hit. Your round just grazed her upper lip and took off a chunk of her mustache.. but on the up side, you got a clean headshot on him.. His head popped like a freakin balloon!
Joe: But that counts right? One shot, one kill.. I still get the beer, right?
Spottswoode: Yes, yes.. It’s still a confirmed kill. But anyway, to continue, appearantly the Eye-Ties have got it in their heads that we are behind the shooting.. and theyre yelling and screaming and waiving their hands and biting their thumbs.. and generally creating a stink.
Gary: Did someone violate our OPSEC?! Do we have a leak ? Has someone been running their drunken mouth too much over at Madam Fatima’s ??? (sidelong glance at Joe)
Spottswoode: No, No.. nothing like that.. We e-mailed them and told them.. I was like “your hairlip reporter was just a warning. The rest of you culattoni will be sleeping with the desert fishes if you dont stay out of our business. Sincerely, America” ..Hey, what good is an example if they think Zarg and his guys did it? So, anyway, a request has come down from top to lay low for a few days and let things cool off. So, until further notice, I dont want any of you wandering farther than the pool or jaccuzzi or weight room.. or next door to play poker with the those darkside guys..
Chris: How ‘bout Burger King and Kahil’s Kiosk of Kabobs ? we have to eat…
Spottswoode: No.. We’ll be living on MREs and Aquafina….. hahaha just kidding..OK, OK.. BK & Kahil’s is fine.. and Domino’s if you have it delivered .. and call Halliburton and have ‘em double our usual beer delivery. Any questions…?
Team Am:
Spottswoode: Good.. Diiiissmisssed
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day
yeah !
Tune in next time when Lisa says;
“I am getting a totally righteous line free tan sunbathing nude by the pool.. but it’s so hot.. Can someone pass me another ice cold Bud?..”
Luigi and Valentino are sitting in their favorite watering hole drinking Campari and water, and Luigi says, “You know, Val, you gotta pull-a down you shades at a-night. Las-a-night when you made love a-to you wife, I could-a see the whole thing.”
Val says, “Ha, the joke she’s on you, Luigi. I wasn’t even a-home last night!”
hehehe you guyz`ve had too much of Salem withcraft
)))
It is … like … so clear al the s***t you`re doing in Iraq, I am so sick of your troops you have NO IDEA!! Me and the rest of the world, that is. I don`t even think you have a remote idea of what the truth beyond CNN looks like.
… yeah, her fault my ass. let me see you guyz in a war zone managed by a bunch of 18 year old kids that see the war as a huge video game.
I am sooooo sick of your sickened policy, I hope China rises fast enough to counterbalance your stupid, negative influence.
Yes, Aliana—
We can only hope for a quicker rise of Communist China to counterbalance the freedom movement currently happening in the middle east.
THE WORLD NEEDS MORE PEASANTS AND LINES FOR TOILET PAPER AND POTATOES!