Confederate Yankee, drawing on his interview with the executive editor of a regional New York newspaper, asks and answers the first question.
As to the second question, the answer is no. No it most certainly will not.
You can’t kill the GAY PORN COCK OF LIES; you can only hope to domesticate it and make it your friend. For my part, I’m hoping to train it to fetch me the newspaper. And maybe make a nice chicken pot pie.
****
update: BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!
Jeff, I’m getting frightening Fantasia/Sorcerer’s Apprentice images here and I haven’t taken anything but a couple of hits off my asthma inhaler. You are drugs, man.
Wait until I start knitting it sweaters…
I hope your mailbox is no more than 8” above ground level.
This must be what they call “Breathing New Life into the 8” Gay Porn Cock of Lies”…
Does one do that, with mouth to mouth? How many breaths? How many compressions?
Turing word: high
Hey, this one was meant for Gail.
The GAY PORN COCK OF LIES is a leaper, skinbad.
Had to get me one of those electronic fences to keep him from wandering next door and frightening the neighbors.
Now we’re back to gay porn movie names: “White cocks can’t jump.”
So I guess you like fried bologna?
There’s no way I would ever eat a chicken pot pie prepared by a gay porn cock of lies.
Anti-spam word: growth. Jeff, you did that on purpose, didn’t you.
You don’t leave him at home with your wife when you’re gone, do you? I mean, I remember from the interview – he said he wasn’t the “gay part.”
(and, damn … now I have that song from Fantasia going through my head … I’m never gonna look at those little brooms-carrying-water the same way.)
It’s all on purpose! Soylent Green is People! Figure it Ouuuuuut!
Where are Hellblazer and Bill when you need someone to mock you for your conspiracy theory? Hello? Mocking mockers! Where aaaaaare you?
Robin’s conspiracy word:husband. As in my husband is going to come home to this disaster and wonder what in the hell I’ve been doing all day.
“The GAY PORN COCK OF LIES is a leaper”
So, in the angle of repose, it is a mere lapdog?
“Wait until I start knitting it sweaters…”
This sounds vaguely familiar.
Don’t forget the tam’o’shanter and matching scarf.
“Had to get me one of those electronic fences to keep him from wandering next door and frightening the neighbors.”
What kind of neighbors do you have? Right-wing fundamentalist gay-baiting HOMOPHOBES???
…you can only hope to domesticate it and make it your friend…
Like frequently petting it on the head?
Spam word: mean…as in antonyms.
Pie. It’s pie that makes one a journalist. I mean, what do you really learn in Journalist Class?
Ducking Punches 101. Professor Ward Churchill.
Remedial Vetting. Dan Rather.
Lying like a big communist rug. Giuliana Sgrena
Carry on.
Ha-ha, it’s all fun and games making jokes about the GAY PORN COCK OF LIES, but you’re all losing sight of THE HYPOCRICY! DEMOCRACY IS UNDER SIEGE!
So true, Sean. I’ve updated.
Dang, I gets results!
You sure do, Sean. Jeff ignores my comments.
That’s such a turnon to the stalker in me.
CHARGE!
Ya, if you just let them prowl all night then they keep you up with that gawd awful, noisy caterwauling .. and before you know it there’s about a dozen little 3” Gay Porn Cocks of Lies roaming your neighborhood and all of them have your cocks face on it..
Thats why the SPCC ** was originally formed.. all because of the feral porn cock problem.
-Alpha Baboon
** Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cocks
Turing word: police
As in: watch for the new Animal Channel Show
“ Porn Cock Cops “
Pie 403. Jeff Goldstein, PhD
Searching for Hypocrisy 101. Oliver Willis
Finances 205. Andrew Sullivan
Sssh.. Sssh.. Relax.. Youre just having a mixed episode… Here, have a couple Effexors and a Xanax and chill … Just tell yourself that the voices are only in your head.. theyre only in your head.. mmmkay ? Now, one last thing.. do not.. DO NOT.. drown all your children in the bathtub..mmmkay ? Trust me, your husband would be even more pissed than he’s already going to be..
Oh, and yes I am a big alpha baboon.. youre not hallucinating… Just so you know…
There’s a Bathtub in this house? Damn. Next thing you’ll be telling me there’s a washing machine.
Naw.. none of that new fangled convenience stuff.. but there is a large rock by the stream.
Turing word: where
by the stream! by the stream ! That’s where… grow some f*cking ears why dont ya!
A primate intervention! Alpha Baboon reveals hidden depths of compassion and knowledge of domestic husbandry! For the children!
PS I read this little interchange to my daughter who now says she wants to be a Conspiracy Theorist when she grows up.
What were you saying about the voices in our heads?
I dont care what common wisdom says.. it IS catching…
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Something in my head just screamed. It sounded vaguely simian…..
When something in my head screams, it’s generally a brain cell starved to death by whatever it is I’m watching or reading. Which is why I watch very little television and never click to Ollie’s site.
I mean, you can put up with it when you’re young, but when you get to be my age the dang screeching just makes ya wanna wallop some whippersnapper with yer cane.
And since I don’t have a cane yet, I just have to shut the dang things up by keeping them well-nourished.
Either that or the brain cells that die here do so quietly. Which, I can handle that.