Having used a one-time pad to decode a message he insists was spread over several Circuit City ads in Tuesday’s Rocky Mountain News, the dolphin in the peacoat spent the next 16 hours stocking the garage with canned food and reinforcing the walls and ceiling of the living room with rebar and heavy wooden planks.
Which, of course, freaked me out a bit—but not near so much as when he started calling me “Bernie” and insisting that I answer the phone “in your best Tajiki accent.”
Don’t freak out. This will all change with Sunday’s Rocky Mountain News in which Circuit City has an eight-page color insert.
Just don’t read the Office Depot ad – whatever you do. I don’t trust any place that will sell me “reams”.
Yes, Jeff, but if you could work in something about the dolphin reading from the Torah, maybe some people would quit whining that your blog isn’t even Jewish. . .
One-time pad? Been reading Neil Stephenson?
Maybe he’s been reading ace.
Or that.
Well, they have been conducting a whole cross-blog debate on Iron Eyes Churchill for a while now.
On the other hand, I haven’t seen many Paul Anka references around here.
(And yes, I know I’m being unfair to Iron Eyes Cody, but I just couldn’t help myself.)
I missed the dolphin. I had the worrying suspicion that the armadillo had pushed him down a flight of stairs and buried him out where they are building the new Arby’s.
You know, if you’re a porpoise and you’re stocking up on canned foods – you’d probably head straight for the tuna, right? I just hope it’s dolphin-safe; if not, you’re barricaded into the house with a cannibalistic dolphin man, and that’s heavy.
So, you guys living together these days? Watch out for his “nose,” dude.
keyword, “nuclear”
And they’re poisoning us with jet trails, too.
But there is no Sunday RMN. It turns into the Denver Post on Sunday, and that just really freaks me out man. It’s a conspiracy by THE MAN to keep us down.
Sorry, watching too much That 70s Show lately.