From this morning’s email:
Dear pw,
I thought your readers might be interested in our humor poetry contest, now in its fourth year. Taking a page from Dave Barry, this contest invites people to make up absurd poems and send them to ‘vanity contests’ as a joke. Prizes are awarded to the best bad poems. There is no entry fee. Please let me know if you have any questions.
ANNOUNCING THE FOURTH ANNUAL WERGLE FLOMP POETRY CONTEST: Prizes of $1,190, $169, $60 and 5 honorable mentions of $38 each. No fee to enter. A humor contest with a special twist. Judge: Jendi Reiter. Deadline: April 1. Submit one poem
online here.Past Winners Includes Chris Kuehn’s, “The Craven”
Regards,
Adam Cohen
866-WINWRIT
So, whaddya say?—help me pick an entry…?
The John Kerry is a Hero Poem. Or the Easy-Bake Oven Poem.
No. Puppet Head and Protesting Poem. Or the one with Michael Moore the twinkie sucking goo pit of hate addendum/coda/whatever poem. You could just submit that. twinkie-sucking goo pit of hate. Although I think you might be missing a hyphen?? Where’s Gail? Gail knows.
Top three, in no particular order: Willie Wonka, Dan & the Brownshirts, and Excalibur. Although you can never go wrong with Dick Trickle.
The Paris Hilton one. (Keyword is: easy.)
The “Easy-Bake Oven” poem or the “Were he a subjunctive gardener” poem
Subjunctive gardener was always my favorite. Of course, I’ve never even won a Wizbang caption contest, so what do I know?
Shit! I forgot the gardener. You can also never go wrong with arcane verb conjugation jokes.
Hey, there’s something the French do better!
My favorite’s The Teresa Heinz Kerry commemorative 3 haiku narrative plate set*.
The “Easy-Bake Oven” poem or “The “Dan Rather announces his retirement from the ‘CBS Evening News’ anchor chair” poem.
(Actually Jeff, yours are more witty and humorous than the vast majority that those vanity contests receive. I respectfully suggest that yours are better than the “bad” for which they are looking.)
Stop sucking up, Frank.
I’m sure this is just me, but I’ve been a Poe fan since I was about ten, so I loved “The Craven.” Anybody else?
The John Kerry is a Hero Poem, because the image of a drowning, dying rodent’s life passing before its eyes while wistfully thinking of peeing on wood chips just gets me misty . . . and choked up—and well, I can’t talk about it any more—
I’d go with the easy bake oven one.
It’s like Michael Moore making up his mind at Old Country Buffet…..but I like “Subjunctive Gardener” or “Ode to the Paris Hilton Video.”