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The further patriotic adventures of Captain Cannoli and his band of brisket pieces

From Newsmax.com:

Disgruntled conspiracy filmmaker Michael Moore blasted the Democratic Party on Thursday, saying its field of candidates for 2008 consists of “a lot of wimps and losers.”

“The Democrats are going to have a very hard time winning the next election,” he told London’s Channel Four. “The Republicans have a number of star players and the Democrats have a lot of wimps and losers.”

Only last month Moore was calling Hillary Clinton a Democratic Party star who had a good chance of winning in 2008. But her widely reported move to the center has apparently turned him off.

Moore was particularly irked that so many Democrats, including Clinton, voted to confirm Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice this week.

“It was a disgusting sight and indicative of who the Democrats are,” he told Channel Four. “They are lazy and they’re cowards and I’m just hoping that the more they continue to act like that the more it will encourage Americans to run against them and put the US back in the hands of the working class, where it belongs.”

Moore said the GOP is much more aggressive. “Bush and the Republicans have no shame and will resort to anything in order to win. The Democrats show up to a gun fight with a butter knife and thus they lose.”

The radical movieman said he “prayed nightly” that Bush’s “many scandals” would catch up to him and end his second term prematurely.

Asked if he would donate to the anti-war movement his income from “Fahrenheit 911,” which reportedly topped $150 million at the box office, Moore pleaded poverty.

“I haven’t seen a dime from this movie!” he told Channel Four.

And by “I haven’t seen a dime from this movie,” Moore of course meant “I haven’t seen a dime from this movie that I haven’t already spent on sausage calzones and cans of cake icing.  And really durable hookers, god bless ‘em.”

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(thanks to Eddie, via email)

9 Replies to “The further patriotic adventures of Captain Cannoli and his band of brisket pieces”

  1. Nylarthotep says:

    Heh. Good one. I love to see the Flatulent Film Fanatic from Flint make an ass of himself.

    I think he’s trying to prove that he’s not a deep left liberal democrat. By alienating the Dems he hopes to look agnostic policitally. Of course, he hasn’t made a movie attacking the liberal heirarchy, so he still is cast as part of the democratic propaganda society. I’m wondering when he’ll start being funded by Soros.

    Well, with luck, he’ll alienate enough people so that soon he’ll be just a distasteful memory.

    As to hookers, I think you’re giving him too much credit for being a human. I’d bet he spent much more on funding a flock of sheep to satisfy his sexual needs. (shudder)

  2. Nordicgirl says:

    The Republicans have a number of “star players” lined up for 2008?  Really?

  3. Ana says:

    Captain Cannoli. Hee hee hee hee. I like it. Now let me go back and read what you wrote….

  4. Ana says:

    You’re making this shit up aren’t you, Jeff? I mean not even Captain Cannoli says this stuff, right?? The bastard sounds like he’s about to spontaneously combust. He hates the right, he hates the left. He IS pit of hate, isn’t he? Michael Moore needs JESUS. Let’s send him Jesus. That will help. Or he’d EAT Jesus which would be bad.

    Where’s Sparky? Sparky! Send Jesus to Michael Moore. Pronto. You have him, right? Jesus. Not Michael Moore. Heh. If RWS got hold of Michael Moore she’d have that boy on Weight Watchers and Hannity so fast he’d have rug burns.

  5. julie says:

    Hasn’t seen a dime of this movie? That’s some crazy accounting even by Hollywood standards. Then again, if he has direct deposit, maybe he’s telling the truth

  6. MM says:

    “(Democrats voting to confirm Rice) was a disgusting sight (worse than my plumber’s crack) and indicative of who the Democrats are (scum who would seat a lying propagandist in the President’s Box at their convention- Carter)

    “They are lazy and they’re cowards (they’ve been disavowing me of late) and I’m just hoping that the more they continue to act like that (pretending I’m invisible, like THAT’s possible) the more it will encourage Americans to run against them I’m also hoping that Iraqi Minutemen get involved in our elections) and put the US back in the hands of the working class (mark my words: the Academy will REGRET not putting an Oscar in my pudgy fingers this year), where it belongs (on my mantel, because it’s all about me and how stinking, filthy rich and famous this class warfare schtick can make me).”

    …“Bush and the Republicans have no shame and will resort to anything (like principles, logic, law, war, democracy and not being Kerry) to win. The Democrats show up to a gun fight with a butter knife (gun control laws, how stupid can THAT be?) and thus they lose (which has nothing to do with my endorsements.  Wes is even happy being General Hollywood these days).

    “I haven’t seen a dime from this movie” (my renewed interest in the Cayman Islands this past year is strictly humanitarian)

  7. Forbes says:

    Yup, that’s it, the Dems just don’t fight hard enough, that’s why they keep loosing. Makes sense to me.

  8. Joe says:

    Michael who‘s this now?  Sorry, never heard of the guy.

  9. Stereg says:

    “I haven’t seen a dime from this movie”

    He must keep his money on his feet.  He hasn’t seen those in years.

Comments are closed.