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Breaking:  Hillary Clinton collapses

From FOXNews (live):  Hillary Clinton collapsed while delivering a speech to the Chamber of Commerce near Buffalo.

Developing….

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update: AP reports that she was suffering from a stomach illness.  She has been taken to a local hospital.

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update 2: FOXNews is now saying she has not been taken to the hospital after all.

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update 3: Senator Clinton will resume her regular speaking schedule, FOXNews is reporting.

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update 4: FOXNews update:  Having completed her scheduled events for the day, Senator Clinton was feeling so damn chipper that she elected to deliver a bonus healthcare talk to whomever happened to be shopping at Limited Express at the Como Park Mall, 3:44 PM EST.

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update 5: Latest report has Senator Clinton swimming the English Channel, towing a pair of giant sea turtles (FOXNews).

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More.

17 Replies to “Breaking:  Hillary Clinton collapses”

  1. mojo says:

    Shouldn’t that be shuffled off to a local hospital?…

  2. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    Perhaps she saw the president of Harvard in the crowd.  Apparently, all the feminist ladies are contracting the vapors at the mere sight of that brute.

  3. Stiv says:

    Here’s what’s happening.  Every morning, she gives Bill his “medicine” to take.  The slickster, being no fool, palms the “medicine” and drops it in Hillary’s coffee when she’s not looking.  Pretty soon, one or both of them is going to look like that Ukranian that the KGB tried to off.

  4. capitano says:

    Just the Vapors no doubt, proving her feminine credentials.

  5. ChrisinAlabama says:

    This does not surprise me.  I usually feel the exact same way when I hear her speak.

  6. JWebb says:

    How can someone with no ankles collapse?

    Okay, that was a sexist, discriminatory remark based on someones physical shortcomings. So I’ll try again. . .

    How come she hasn’t collapsed before now? A mean, with a giant Buick cheese sculpture of a heini . . .

    Damn!

  7. c says:

    It was the falafel breath she smelt.

  8. capitano says:

    update 5: Latest report has Senator Clinton swimming the English Channel, towing a pair of giant sea turtles (FOXNews).

    File this under —No “Hill” for a climber —

    Not many people know this, but between sessions Hillary completed a modified BUD/S course in preparation for the unveiling of her new “Hillary the Hawk Presidential Campaign.” In addition to boosting her military credentials, she should be able to tow those turtles (Flo and Eddie) with both hands tied behind her (see Drown Proofing Training Module).

  9. TomB says:

    The vapors?!

    I thought only Andy Sullivan got the vapors anymore.

    (on a similar note, am I the only one who hears the “Gone with the Wind” theme when I’m on Sully’s site?)

  10. charlotte says:

    Hilary swimming along, towing giant sea turtles – how can people not read this site every day?

  11. CraigC says:

    Alright!!!  A Turtles reference.  Very nice.  Now, how ‘bout them Terps?

  12. bolivar says:

    Daaaaaaammmmmmmnnnnnnn knew it was too good to be true.  Not that I am the type to wish anybody evil or bad but, this slut really deserves some payback and well, here’s hoping she gets it.

  13. sigfried says:

    I remember The Turtles. They did a guest shot on Gilligan’s Island, right? They were pretty skinny guys, so towing 2 of then shouldn’t be difficult…

  14. Krusty Krab says:

    You know, I didn’t find this story very funny, and I am appalled that you find it humorous.  I know she had to have her stomach pumped.  Something about spending 45 minutes alone with six guys, though I don’t know how that would do anything.  Also I am a bit confused about the rug burns on her knees.  Bless her.  She is a good woman.

  15. kelly says:

    Sheeit.

    I thought the reference to sea turtles was an ever-so-clever trompe d’oiel depiction of her thighs.

    Can I get a witness!!

  16. McGehee says:

    Krusty, that’s simply not possible. She wouldn’t spend that much time with any number of men. Getting their nards and putting them in the ol’ lockbox doesn’t take her but a second.

  17. Mark says:

    Como Park?

    Dude, are you Minnesotan?

Comments are closed.