I loved this little tidbit, “A Whiter Shade of Pale,” from the January 14th issue of The Weekly Standard (print edition):

Washington, D.C., is a famously sensitive city when it comes to race–recall the firestorm when a city bureaucrat used the word ‘niggardly.’ But last week’s Washington Post may have set a new standard for artful racial euphemism. In a piece relating how Michael Jordan’s return to the Washington Wizards is sparking an economic revitalization among the bars and restaurants around the team’s arena, the MCI Center, reporter David A. Fahrenthold clearly wanted to say that Jordan’s presence has brought more wealthy whites to downtown Washington.

Instead, the piece describes how businesses once did better on nights when the Capitals, the hockey team, were in town: ‘Largely suburban, jersey-wearing, SUV-driving hockey fans made good customers before and after the game.’ The Wizards’ followers, though, tended to be ‘light-spending fans, who ate on the cheap and took Metro home.’ The newly minted Wizards fans, on the other hand, are “the expense-account crowd.” They are ‘the khaki-wearing cocktail crowd’ that ‘spends well and looks good.’

C’mon, David. You can use the W-word.

Man, is learning the latest in race-sensitive terminology a drain! The other day, for instance, I was in a department story buying a suit, and the salesmen who was helping me recommended I purchase some “colored” socks to go along with it.

Well, needless to say, I was shocked! “Don’t you mean, ‘socks of color,'” I reminded him — and rather firmly, I must say. To which he said nothing, his jaw slack and his lips aquiver as I stormed out of the store. Needless to say, I’ll never shop there again…!