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“SHOCK REPORT: Recoverable Oil in Federal Lands Worth Over $60 Trillion”

Unfortunately, money that takes the form of profitability — like coal and, in this case, shale and the oil extracted from it — is dirty dirty dirty, not like spending beyond our means for “fairness,” or, as an objective correlative, organically-harnessed green energy that, with the proper nudging from the most enlightened and best among us will one day propel all our cars and return the earth to its most natural state.  Which is where we all wish to be.   So that we can experience what it’s like to live in a world where man fights with bears and cougars and wolves for rabbit meat — and has to beat off badgers to find shelters that won’t befoul the landscape, should carbon-belching man make the obnoxious choice not to live in government-created eco-friendly human hives, where his poisonous gasses can be harnessed to feed the community herb garden.

Forward!

 

47 Replies to ““SHOCK REPORT: Recoverable Oil in Federal Lands Worth Over $60 Trillion””

  1. happyfeet says:

    it would be worth a lot more if it were found in a country what didn’t have fascist America’s confiscatory tax policies and hyper-regulation

    which is why Mr. Eduardo Saverin, quite properly, says fuck you America

  2. scooter says:

    You forgot to say “failshit.”

  3. happyfeet says:

    I wanted to use fascist after I read about that poor guy in Romney’s Massachusetts getting his ice cream shop put out of business by a bunch of statist goose steppers

  4. Squid says:

    I’m thinking that we should set up our own little republic up in the mountains, and just tell all the coastal elites that we’re living in a primitive wilderness survival hell. If a handful of them come to explore the dank dark caves of flyover land and realize we’re all drinking whiskey and playing video games in our climate-controlled* mansions, well, accidents happen.

    * That’s right — we can control the climate! Take that, warmenists!

  5. cranky-d says:

    We could be energy independent in about ten years. We could drive down the cost of oil to a fraction of what it is now, very quickly, to something less than the cost of recovering shale oil (which has a high fixed price of extraction as compared to regular oil, whose price is basically controlled by limiting production), giving us time to develop less expensive shale oil extraction methods. We would soon no longer be held hostage by Mideastern barbarians.

    We could do all this, if someone were willing to actually run this country as if they want it to succeed. Too bad no such leader is on the horizon.

  6. happyfeet says:

    out on the road today I saw an obama/biden sticker on a nissan leaf

    a little voice inside my head said they mean the fascist in chief yeah the rapist in chief

  7. scooter says:

    Putting an Obama sticker on a hybrid seems redundant to me.

  8. cranky-d says:

    I thought that hybrids came with Obama stickers already installed.

  9. bh says:

    As nice as $60T at $100 a barrel sounds, I think $30T at $50 a barrel sounds even sweeter.

  10. dicentra says:

    Don’t forget the best part of living in harmony with nature: dysentery, pox, plague, fevers, and septicemia.

  11. Jim in KC says:

    One small piece of good news is that I see a lot more faded Obama/Biden ’08 stickers than I do shiny new Obama/Biden ’12 stickers.

    At least I hope it means something.

  12. Dave J says:

    What about if we propose to use like windmills to pump that dirtyness up out of the ground?

  13. Gulermo says:

    “and has to beat off badgers” No one has to, but if you want to, well that’s something entirely different. Proteim Wisdom: where the jokes write themselves.

  14. Celtic Dragon says:

    I’m sorry, I’m not beating off any badgers. They can pay for their handjobs from the local crack whore like everyone else…;-)

  15. mojo says:

    Beating off Badgers sounds like a job for the ‘Dillo.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  16. bh says:

    Last I heard there were entire sororities dedicated to beating off Badgers. I’m sure they have it covered.

  17. Squid says:

    Putting an Obama sticker on a hybrid seems redundant to me.

    My neighbor has an Obama sticker on her VW Golf. The sticker is directly above the name, so it says, in essence, OBAMA GOLF. Any time I pull up behind it at the curb, I can’t help but wonder whether my neighbor is completely clueless, or the most subversive bastard on the block.

  18. Squid says:

    Beating off Badgers sounds like a job for the ‘Dillo.

    Althouse’s commentariat just called. They’d like to know why the ‘Dillo is invading their turf.

  19. mc4ever59 says:

    Beat off a badger, draw back a stump.
    No thank you.

  20. ThomasD says:

    Killing the badger might prove a more long term solution…

    Trivia: I once dated a girl whose college jobs included collecting sperm samples from lab rats. Never mentioned anything about badgers though.

  21. JHoward says:

    You forgot to say “failshit.”

    A more apt definition of this failshit little country I cannot think of. Nor can this young lady, referring to the Canadiauckistan parallel.

    Related: All that US shale oil together is ten trillion dollars less than the derative exposure of the largest US bank.

    Yup, kinda failshit.

  22. BurtTC says:

    There are people who really believe we’ve got maybe 20 years worth of oil left on this planet, and that’s why we MUST find ways to get cars and jets and everything else running on wind and love. If you told them this country alone has enough recoverable oil to last us another 300 years, they’ll look at you like you said the moon was made of Oprah’s bra and panty cheese.

    We are living in a flat-Earth era, and the flat-Earthers sincerely believe they’re the smart ones.

  23. cranky-d says:

    To the progressive mind, the world is a static thing. They believe in evolution, but believe that it stopped yesterday (or the day before). The likely know the climate has changed in the past, but the climate we had 20 years ago (or whenever they pick) was the correct climate and any deviation from that must be the fault of humans. Whatever oil reserves we had 30 years ago are all we have now. The fact that we continue to get better at finding and recovering oil is ignored.

    And yet, we’re the reactionaries. We’re the anti-science crowd.

    And we’re expected to deal with these people as if they are serious, rather than seriously deluded.

  24. mc4ever59 says:

    It is fun to hit some climate change/green type zealots with facts and questions they can’t answer. They begin to sputter, then change color, and then….
    It’s awesome to actually see a head implode.

  25. ThomasD says:

    I find it entirely too predictable that these same people who so strenuously question the ‘science’ of Big Pharma (and rightly so) are entirely unskeptical when it comes to the claims of neo-Malthusianists.

  26. mc4ever59 says:

    Would any of you buy a used car from Al Gore?

  27. John Bradley says:

    Beating off Badgers sounds like a job for the ‘Dillo.

    He is armored, after all.

    Which is probably the only safe way to accomplish the task, what with the badger’s notorious contempt for all manner of low-level sexual acts.

  28. bergerbilder says:

    As Bunker Hunt (used) to say, “a trillion dollars isn’t what it used to be.”

  29. B Moe says:

    Would any of you buy a used car from Al Gore?

    Probably not. I might rent a flatscreen for $100/wk for 10 years from him, but probably wouldn’t buy a car.

  30. […] someone’s going to start wondering why, if this is true, we’re still paying $3.50 a […]

  31. Funny thing. The US is now a NET (yes, net) oil and gas exporter. Gas is still at $3.50 here.

  32. leigh says:

    I would buy a used car from Al Gore. Of course, I am a much better salesman than Honest Al, so he’d lose money on the deal and would throw in free oil changes and a full sized spare and a new set of tires and a full detail. And maybe a new radio.

  33. happyfeet says:

    more scare-mongering today from National Soros Radio – their whole worldview is a lot threatened by an energy-independent America I think

    “Fifty years from now, are we really going to be wondering if we really screwed up because we went on this big gas boom? You really wouldn’t want to be messing that up,” Tierney says.

  34. leigh says:

    Proggs over-use modifiers in their speech.

    Examples: “this is pretty awful” Really? It’s either awful or it is not.

    They also speak with a middle school vocabulary. I think the Wonce’s last SOTU was clocked at 8th grade reading level.

  35. mc4ever59 says:

    I’ve seen no 8th grade school records as of yet.
    Maybe they’ll get on it as soon as they can determine whether or not William Howard Taft was a gay hashish addict and if there are any more rocks in Texas that have anti black messages painted on them with ties to Rick Perry.

  36. TRHein says:

    We have been 10 yearing ourselves for several years now. You have Obviously Not understood that we can not and will not take money from the middle eastern countries who obviously need it more than we do by captializing on our own resources. And lest ye think I do not know what I speak of… you science denier you!

  37. happyfeet says:

    goddamn fuck a whore

    Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin on Wednesday signed into law the nation’s first ban on a hotly debated natural gas drilling technique that involves blasting chemical-laced water deep into the ground.

    the National Soros Radio natural gas hate campaign is working

    notice the dirty socialist Associated Press propaganda slut doesn’t even say”fracturing”… it’s a natural gas drilling technique that involves blasting chemical-laced water deep into the ground

  38. leigh says:

    Sounds scary. We better ban it. /proggs

  39. TRHein says:

    HF. can you make a comment without the need for the profanity, the damning of America, the hate on Christians or the hate directed toward any post regarding Ms. Palin?

  40. Squid says:

    You’re just begging for a link to an over-rated song, TR.

  41. happyfeet says:

    yes

  42. Do you have any idea what that means in Swahili?

  43. happyfeet says:

    no idea maybe we should axe Obama

  44. sdferr says:

    Wohin? Whereto?

  45. Swen says:

    Just a point of clarification.. Are we talking a regular old badger, or Honey badger? ‘Cause if you’re going to beat off Honey badger you’d best bring a cobra, or a Python.

  46. […] {{url}}"}};}James T. Bartis of Rand assumed only 800 billion recoverable barrels of oil in the tiny Green River Formation and told Congress: about 80 percent of this oil shale resource base lies under federal lands. At […]

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