From TheIndyChannel.com
Middle schools across the United States will observe “No Name-Calling Week” starting Monday.
The program, now in its second year, takes aim at insults of all kinds, whether they are based on a child’s appearance, background or behavior.
It has the backing of the Girl Scouts of America and Amnesty International, but a handful of conservative critics have zeroed in on references to harassment based on sexual orientation.
“Since when is it a crime to call a fag a fag,” asked Don Wildmon, chairman of The American Family Association. “That’s like asking people not to call a rose a rose, or a monkey a monkey. And we don’t need public schools confusing our children by forcing them to call a queer a ‘cupcake’—even for a week. It’s un-American.”
“No Name-Calling Week” was developed by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, which is seeking to ensure that schools safely accommodate students of all sexual orientations.
“Were it up to us,” noted GLSEN Executive Director Kevin Jennings, “we’d get rid of name-calling forever. Words, too. And maybe even hand gestures. That way, human communication would be reduced to a series of hugs and grunts. And nothing says ‘I really really tolerate you’ more than a long and lingering grunt-punctuated hug.”
The group said it’s unsure how many schools will participate in this week’s event, but says 5,100 educators from 36 states have registered, up from 4,000 last year.
So I’m guessing calling someone “hot” is out as well?
Well, calling someone cold is definitely out!
I notice the GLSEN spokesman wants to get rid of words–and replace them with hugs. Who let’s these people in schools?
Me thinks they’re a little too obsesed with sex–maybe they should skip this attention as some of the middle school students are pre-teens.
RWS – since we know Jeff is hot, maybe we can get away with innuendo! But, does this mean we can’t call him a hot Joo? Well, then, he can’t call us until Saturday!
If they can’t call names in school, how will teachers call roll? I’m confused. Maybe I need a hug.
Well done. I wondered whe someone was going to skewer this ridiculous story. And no one could have done it better, you hot Joo, you!
Since when is Donald Wildmon a conservative? Was Benny Hinn unavailable for comment? How about Oral Roberts?
So … eliminate cute, anorexic, vertically challenged, tasty, felchable … what’s next?
What if they’re made up names. When I was a kid I made up the name ‘monkercaince’. I’m not sure exactly how it’s spelled, but it sounds like monker-kaints. I mean, it doesn’t really mean anything, and I only used it a couple of times (until recently, when it rose to the top of my memory and I embraced it like an old friend) so I’ve never even set a pattern for it to be equivocated to another term. Can I still call my coworker a ‘fuckin monkercaints’ when he tips over the damn water tank?
My spam word was ‘monkercaints’. I can’t make this stuff up.
http://eyeofthestorm.blogs.com/eye_of_the_storm/2005/01/what_kind_of_di.html
In full disclosure I have never said Jeff was “hot.” I did say he was cuter than Benny Hill.
Just as I never give gifts to anyone who doesn’t give gifts to me, I never call anyone “hot” who doesn’t call me that first.
Another rule I go by….
You’re such a tease!
..oops
Okay, Jeff, so how many people are going to read what you posted without following the link and think those quotes are real?
Come to think of it, that probably happens with you a lot. And you don’t particularly care.
Later,
bbeck
I don’t particularly care, but the answer to your question is 18.
bbeck,
Perhaps you missed Jeff’s indemnity statement releasing him from all liability stemming from a reader’s lack of satire cognition.
That said, he had me until Wildmon weighed in.
No Name-Calling Week? What a bunch of assholes.
Craig – that could be Uranus’
I’m not afraid to say it: Jeff is a hot Joo (which actually sounds like a sort of Japanese cuisine, if you say it quickly enough). So there.
(Spambuster: special.)
Kelly, I did miss that but I was able to figure it out on my own. Unfortunately—or, actually, kinda fortunately—not everyone else will.
Heh.
And Craig, I think we should take up the slack. If there’s no name-calling in school then, by gum, it’s up to the post-grads!
Later,
bbeck
I think you guys are dancing around the real issue like a bunch of Kansas City Faggots.
What if little Jimmy eats a box of Susie Q every day in an effort to become “the fat kid” which has always been a noble and prized identity in the halls of primary education.
Every day he goes to school and all the kids are calling him “CHUBS”, “Lardass”, “Porky”, etc. etc.
He knows that he owns “the fat kid” identity. He’s comfortable with it and it is his.
Then all of a sudden, for a whole week, all he hears is “Jimmy this” and “Jimmy that”. He thought he heard the class bully Rusty Trombone start to yell “Blubberbutt” though it was quickly cut off when the Assistant Pricipal tackled him.
So Jimmy goes home thinking that someone else has dethroned him and taken away his coveted title. He then ups his Hostess habit to 6 paks a day until twenty years later, at 29, his heart explodes like a frat-boy with a beer-bong.
Not in my name.
I knew there was something fishy about the fourth and sixth paragraphs.
Easy, there, Big Al…this is a non-personal- issues based thread mandated by the blog federation.
Instead of calling them douche bags next week, I’ll just call ‘em SpongeBob.
What a bunch of whiny fairies.
Does this mean no more playing “Smear the Queer” on the playground? No more saying “band geek?” Is calling kids “burnouts” or “jocks” or “preps” off-limits too?
C’mon, Kelly. You don’t like Susie Q? Just a little?
Okay, maybe a little…
It’s going to be an emotionally dislocating day for Heinie Lipchitz and her brother Nipple.
Don’t get me started on the Swiss Cake Rolls.
”…a long and lingering grunt-punctuated hug.”
Sounds like sex with my ex…
It amazes me how much of a fuss is made when kids are asked for a week just to basically BE NICE to everyone!
Yep, it’s pretty sad when “let’s teach kids not to be mean” upsets people???
Howard Dean shall lead the Democrats back to victory. Democrats have AMERICAN Values, Democrats are the party of Morality, & Christians too!
Which sounds more like the teachings of Jesus to you?
help sick, poor, & needy. LOVE thy enemy, turn thy other cheek.
Or, sorry we can’t afford $15billion a year to help Americans in need – we have a deficit & debt. Oh yes, Bill Gates must keep his tax cut, & the $300 billion spent to “help” Iraq is great…but sorry 100+ programs to help Americans must be cut or eliminated….(bush 2005 budget)
P.S. I wouldn’t normally mix religion & politics, but I’m so tired of Conservatives implying that true Christians must vote republican!
Click the web link to save your soul:
Jesus said: “Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many†(Matthew 24:4-5). Jesus said it was going to get so bad that “…if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect†(verse 24). How does one know if they have rejected the biblical truth of Jesus Christ?
http://members.aol.com/ludiebell/rejectionofbiblicaltruth.htm
There’s a difference between “teaching children not to be mean” and the state forcing them to use particular state-sanctioned PC language. That you can’t see the difference—and that you’re a Deaniac—are hardly a surprising confluence and one of the reasons this former Dem ran screaming from the party of “tolerance”.
And don’t worry about my soul—though I have no doubt you pasted this same response onto a hundres sites and could care less about anything more than spamming your message.