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If you like Pina Coladas / And gettin’ caught in the rain…

Here’s some fine bloggin’ from a hog-ridin’ Redneck down Raleigh way…

Oh. And if’n it’s your first time visitin’ ol’ Hoss’ site, ignore that Michael Jackson VictoryTour jacket he’s wearin’ (posin’ there behind his mean machine!). I lived through the eighties, too — and I’ve got the parachute pants and Billy Squier tattoo on my ass to prove it…

[update: The answer is no (those of you who’ve emailed to query), I have no Billy Squier tattoo on my ass. I have Rick Springfield on my ass; Billy is next to my heart. Duh.]

12 Replies to “If you like Pina Coladas / And gettin’ caught in the rain…”

  1. Mark Gordon says:

    It’s about time you linked to this guy, Protein Wisdom editor peoples.  He’s been carrying your “Comments” section, along with Myria, Josh, Matthew, and Glenn, for months now.  He’s also 10X better at writing than anyone on this site, and he’s a whole lot funnier than “Jeff Goldstein,” who curses a lot and makes crotch humor jokes, but who doesn’t really understand the essence of humor.  Humor is a good premise, not a good punchline, Mr. Goldstein.

    Mr. McArthur’s premise, that of the personal ads, is funny.

    Learn.

    P.S. You shouldn’t make fun of Southern people, either.

  2. Jeff G. says:

    Wow. I feel bloodied. 

    I’ll strive to do better, Mark.  But please, what’s with the “Jeff Goldstein” thing?  You don’t need to put quotation marks around my name.  After all, I’m just a man, flesh and blood.  Nothing so magical as a T.V. show title, like, say, “The Dukes of Hazard” or “Carter Country.”

    You pathetic, godless slug.

  3. Martin says:

    Very funny link, Jeff.  Or is that “Jeff?” Feel free to call me “Martin” – it makes me feel important.

    The “personals” bit reminds me of the funniest description I’ve ever seen in a personal ad:<blockquote> SWF – My friends tell me I look like Anna Nicole Smith</blockquote>

    They just neglected to specify which period of her life they meant…

  4. don says:

    Kids, kids, stop that fighting. It’s just blogging. But, since we’re on the subject…I’m from Queens, NY, that’s not a Hog, it’s a Honda sportbike, and the jacket is a perforated leather Teknic racing jacket that allows me protection and some bit of cooling breeze while riding in the summer heat hereabouts. And, finally, humor is difficult! I appreciate it wherever I find it. Here’s a quote, “You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.” Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

  5. Jeff G. says:

    Of <i>course</i> that’s not a HOG, everybody (first off, it’s Japanese); and of <i>course</i> that’s not a VictoryTour jacket (first off, it’s not pleather).

    And of <i>course</i> I’m funny.  Shit, who doesn’t know <i>that</i>? wink

    So is Don—“New York” or not…

  6. Trey Conroy says:

    Well, I’m a longtime visitor to this site, and I find in thigh-slapping hysterical.  Sorry, Mark. I’m sure you have decent tastes in other areas.  Keep up the wonderful work, Protein Wisdomers.

    TConroy,

    County Cork

  7. Mark Gordon says:

    I’m sorry some of you disagree with my opinions on humor and what is it that is funny.  But this, “Today, the Braves play at Turner field, named after that rich dude who sails boats and used to tap Jane Fonda’s ass—‘fore he traded her in for a younger and more impressionable model, I mean” is unnecessarily vulgar.  Some of the things that Mr McArthur wrote were also questionable (ie. “fat ballbuster”), but the crotch humor on his site is not as severe as it is here. 

    I called you “Jeff Goldstein” in quotes because I wasn’t sure it that was your screen name like Vodkapundit.  I didn’t mean to suggest that was not your name.

    Poking fun of overweight people and Southern people is not my idea of a good joke.  Maybe I just don’t get your humor?

  8. don says:

    Me, I think crotches in general are pretty funny. I mean, think about the damn things. Fucking gruesome from the wrong point of view, or with a hangover. Yet so…

    And overweight people and Southerners (and skinny Yankees and benighted Muslims) should be the butt of jokes ad nauseum. Anti-hubris, don’t you know. Prophylactic in its way.

  9. Jeff G. says:

    I’m a committed social constructionist.  Which means that, for today only, I’m a Black, Southern, benighted Muslim—a bit overweight, sure, and with a slew of Christian Yankee kin who’ve only recently joined a nudist colony (and who keep sending me photos of themselves on a trampoline).

    Oh.  And my sister’s gay.  Which should just about cover it.

    See?  I’m laughing at <i>myself</i>.  And if you can’t laugh at yourself, well…then who <i>can</i> you laugh at, is what I want to know…?

  10. Walter in Denver says:

    Don’t make fun of fat people? Southerners? How come the first thing I think of is Molly Ivins?

    That doesn’t even need a punchline.

    (Wait, where is Micheal Moore from?)

  11. Matthew says:

    Jeff,

    If you stopped making fun of fat people, Southerners, and using so-called crotch humor this blog wouldn’t be worth squat.  Keep up the good work!

  12. Jeff G. says:

    Thanks, Matthew.

    Er, I think…

Comments are closed.