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protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 15

Woke up under a pile of windbreakers and ponchos in the backseat of James Taylor’s tour bus at about 3 am EST, one of the Kerry daughters passed out nude in the aisle, Tipper Gore folded over JT’s lap like a fleshy pink topcoat.  The bus was cruising through Connecticut on its way down to the Carolinas, the driver told me, so I begged out, and he was cool enough to drop me at a Denny’s just off highway 84 near Waterbury, where I spent most of the night stuffing my face with pancakes and chatting up the waitress, Bethany S., a UConn junior with an easy smile and small, perky breasts. 

When her shift ended Bethany took me back to her place and let me crash for a few hours, then gave me a lift to the airport this morning, so I hooked her up with a handful of Lorazepam and one of those fiendish Willy Nelson joints I’d begged off Lester the roadie.  The last two quaaludes I saved for myself, to help take the edge off on the plane ride home.  I should be back in Colorado in about 3-4 hours, I figure—and when I get there, I plan to drive my Jeep into the mountains, fire up the remains of Lester’s stellar herb, throw in a John Denver CD, and reflect on the past 4 days.  Talk with y’all sometime after that.

Man, being a reporter is fun

11 Replies to “protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 15”

  1. Chrees says:

    Hmmmm… so you were going to Carolina in your mind?

    Sounds like the only thing missing from this convention was having your lawyer in tow…

  2. Teem says:

    So do you like know Hunter Thompson personall? All I can say is wow, man.

  3. Colin says:

    Beautiful. This is Hunter S. quality—and not the jittery, brain-dead Thompson of the 90s nor the mediocre Thompson of the 80s, but the pure, unadulterated fun of drug-binging 70s Thompson.

    This is why you’re 2nd on my daily blogroll.

    -colin

  4. Scott P says:

    Back lounge might read a little better than back seat to the informed groupie.

  5. Beck says:

    Bill and Ted said it best, “Be excellent to one another.” Well, they said it anyway. 

    Your voyage of political discovery definitely ranks up there as one of the most entertaining long strange trips I’ve, er, read about.

  6. Forbes says:

    Nooo, if you were on 91, it means you exited I-84 in Hartford, but if you were in Waterbury, you continued on I-84. Probably the last time you were coherent! Either way takes you southwest to NYC, and closer to a better airport to transit to DIA, so I guess it was the last time you were coherent! I don’t think using “highway 84” changes the pace of the narrative any, though.

    Perhaps I’m taking this waaay to seriously wink

  7. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Highway 84 works for me.  I was still a little drowsy from the ‘ludes Carol King gave me, so my details might be off a bit.

  8. Attila Girl says:

    I like the “being a reporter is fun” callback.

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