From the New York Daily News:
U.S. commandos are hunting for secret nuclear and chemical weapons sites and other targets in Iran, and have a plan to turn the hard-line Islamic country into the next front in the war on terrorism.
“It’s not if we’re going to do anything against Iran. They’re doing it,” an ex-intelligence official tells this week’s issue of The New Yorker.
Since at least last summer, the U.S. teams have penetrated eastern Iran, reportedly with Pakistan’s help, the magazine said.
“Iraq is just one campaign,” the official told investigative reporter Seymour Hersh. “The Bush administration is looking at this as a huge war zone. Next, we’re going to have the Iranian campaign.”
9 OTHER military secrets intelligence officials have recently entrusted to Seymour Hersh
- By 2009, Syria will be “a super big Wal-Mart” with “some really great deals on chick peas”
- Once the US has puppet control over Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and Syria, the next move is to instigate a velvet revolution in Pakistan—culminating in a pro-Democratic Islamic country that will gratefully change its name to “Margaritaville”
- Israel’s so-called “atomic capabilities”? Nothing but lava lamps wrapped in tin foil
- “Natural” disasters in the coastal areas of Southern California and New York will ensure Republican control of the White House and Congress for at least a generation. Trust us on this
- Todd Beamer? A CIA plant. “Let’s Roll”? Code for “scramble the fighter jets and shoot this puppy down. But make it look like we did it, okay?”
- Usama bin Laden has been dead for years, his remains kept in a shoebox at Langley; his recent “appearances” were actually staged using an actor whose previous credits included “Goofy” and “Hillbilly Bear” at Disney World, Orlando
- “John Ashcroft” is actually an animatronic unit completed in 1983 by Lockheed Martin; modeled after “The Robot Gunslinger” character in Michael Crichton’s Westworld, “Ashcroft” was modified to fit then-President Reagan’s request to “make the thing more Christiany”
- Ayman Al Zarqawi’s birth name is actually Schlomo Edelstein, born Yonkers, NY, 1963, and up until 1991 a social studies teacher in Fairlawn, New Jersey.
- The real reason for the breakup of Ellen Degeneres and Anne Heche? Two words: Condi Rice
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update: Pentagon reacts to the Hersh report (via Malkin)
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update 2: I would say that it’s quite likely we have (or have had) special forces units poking around in Iran. At least, I hope that’s the case. What I find humorous is Hersh’s hyperbole and his ubiquitous use of the unnamed military intelligence source. For the record.
Wow, that Seymour Herssh guy is really deep throating it up isn’t he? I mean, really knows how to deep thro-no. Um…sure is getti-noo…ah…what a deep throater tha-noooo. Ah screw it. You know what I’m trying to say.
Given the need to deal with Iran, I was happy to read this article until I saw Hersh’s byline.
The obvious conclusion that nothing in the piece is true depressed me.
“Ayman Al Zarqawi’s birth name is actually Schlomo Edelstein, born Yonkers, NY, 1963, and up until 1991 a social studies teacher in Fairlawn, New Jersey.”
Is he Lisa Edelstein’s brother? Because she’s really hot.
Maggie Wheeler is another of the chosen that I’d choose.
Don’t get me started on Sarah Silverman.
The goy notice…
P.S. Symousr Hersh is a putz.
“Symousr Hersh is a putz.”
As is Seymour Hersh, his evil clone. Played in the TV movie by Miguel Ferrar…
“Symousr” – I thought you were referring to Mohammed Ahmed Symosul Mohammed – who is now making a pretty mean Baked Alaska …
Do any of you wannabee Rodney Dangerfield’s have any actual facts, (you know, links to articles or even information) to post that would perhaps back up your statements that Seymour Hersh is incorrect?
Because, if true, this is serious business. And, from what I can see, while such serious business is going down, and US service men and woman are again risking their lives overseaas in Iran, (possibly) y’all are engaged in a mighty pathetic partisan circle jerk.
Or is that simply the point? Considering that this post was linked to by Instapundit, I’d hoped there might actually be something of interest…
I must be wrong.
Carry on.
Well, Hersh can’t hold a candle to Seymore Butts, who wrote that “Under the Bleachers.”
INSTAPUNDIT IS SNAFU’S MASTER!
Oh. And here’s your link, you self-important twat. Enjoy!
S<b>eymour <b>Nimrod Alter-ego Fouled Up.
Big time.
Has anyone noticed how much that new Palestinian dud looks like Peter Sellers? Or how we’ve never seen the two of them together in the same room?
Cosmic Man……
(Grrrr!) Retry:
Seymour’s Nimrod Alter-ego Fouled Up.
[Anti-spam word: “thinking”—which I wish I had been the last time I hit “Submit.”]
SNAFU,
oh we’re sorry, we forgot now we are supposed to be using the new Rather/ Mapes / Thornburgh / Boccardi criteria: information does not have to be PROVEN to be true, instead, we have to PROVE it is not true.
With that FOOBAR logic, (SNAFU logic being “normal” F’d Up), I can say whatever crazy conspiracy theory I want, and just say “sources told me,” and you would have to believe me and PROVE I’m wrong.
Have you ever taken a logic class? How about debate? No? Too bad.
I also wrote an article on the repurcussions of the Boccardi report (forgive me for plugging my own site):
CBS Report repurcussions
Pluto’s Dad
Eyes On The Ball News
News Satire that’s Right for You
Irrespective of the fact that Hersh’s utterances are protected by the First Amendment (and should be), is it responsible journalism for him and his publisher to be ‘outing’ black ops, national security measures? Certainly, there are consequences for publicizing these kind of operations, not the least of which probably is reducing the frequency of, and opportunity to conduct these intelligence gathering missions. Doubtless, the mullahs will have their military scouring these areas now. Interesting stuff, but for public consumption?
Hey Bill (you know who I mean) –
I thought that was SNAFU FUBAR
Dammit I spelled FUBAR wrong argh now I look like a complete idiot!
(It was all those computer classes in college that did it to me..) foo and bar
bubbly
Situation Normal All Fucked Up: (A good name for a liberal)
I don’t wannabee Rodney Dangerfield because he’s fucking dead.
Seymour Hersh hasn’t put a fact in the wind in the last thirty years, by his own admission he said, something like, “if facts mattered I’d have been fired already.”
My point has been proven. Thank you all.
Continue.
SNAFU SAYS WE CAN CONTINUE! YIPPEEEEEE!
SNAFU, I see you’ve boldly demonstrated your ignorance of Hersh’s past history – such as his attempt to foist forged documents on the public in his book on JFK, Hersh’s unsupported charges that Barry MacCaffery’s division had fired on penned Iraqi prisoners in Iraq, or his ridiculous assertions in the case of the forged Niger documents that the CIA had forged them ( criminal investigations in Italy show that they are more likely forgeries from France intelligence ).
Seymour Hersh has no credibility, SNAFU.
YOU’VE PROVEN HIS POINT AGAIN, ROBIN! SO HA! TAKE THAT!
After hersh’s first post-9/11 article, I’ve not read anything else he has written. Too many bad facts, anonymous & suspect sources. Make CBS’ NG story look well researched.
Here is one simple fact check that flew by the New Yorker staff:
“The mission was initiated by sixteen AC-130 gunships, which poured thousands of rounds into the surrounding area but deliberately left the Mullah’s house unscathed.”
No it wasn’t. There are only 21 AC-130s in the US military and there were at least 8 that were not in theater. The rest of the article seems to be written by ONE disgruntled ex-operator or wannabe. Complaining about strategy, tactics, and leadership is not uncommon in the military. Telling a reporter is the rare thing. I think the souce is made up.
The whole “article” is here:
http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?011112fa_FACT
Found on SNAFU’s blog: “It is all an effort in controlling media. All media. Through intimidation, money and propaganda. And Rather is the poster child for what happens when you don’t play with the right-wing machine.”
Um, yeah. And the full sinisterosity of the “right-wing machine” is clearly in evidence in this post. I expect the rest of the media to soon begin running stories about Condi’s secret lesbian trysts, because where intimidateing-thought-leader-Goldstein goes the spineless and cowed MSM follows. Or Else!
Oh, and happily, my anti-spam word today is “own”
Heh.
YOU’RE JUST ATTACKING THE MESSENGER, FACT CHECKER! SO YOU’VE PROVEN SNAFU’S POINT AGAIN!
HA! EAT SNAFU’S DUST, WINGNUTS!
Since SNAFU has given me permission to continue, I’d like to talk about hot jewish girls…
What am I supposed to take again, Jeff? Silverware … liberties with the maid … the dignity of the brothers … ? I’m so confused.
Wow, Jeff, I just now saw the Pentagon release you linked. That’s a hilariously vicious rebuttal of Hersh’s stupidyt. Thanks.
You’re welcome, Robin.
BUT LOOK AT WHO OFFERS THE REBUTTAL! SUCH DENIAL ACTUALLY PROVES SNAFU’S POINT!
Hersh has smoothly progressed from babbling idiot to outright conspiracy lunatic; the contemptuous dismissal by Pentagon Spokesman Lawrence DiRita should have clued you in, Seymour Needs A Fucking Unclogging, ‘cause he’s clearly full of it, as are you.
SNAFU’S CHEATING ON ME!! I thought I was the only one who kicked his whiney butt all over the place.
Nothing that Hersh says ever is true. Why, look at that stupid story he did last year about our soldiers torturing Iraqis at that Abu-whatever placy in Iraq. Obviously lies, all lies, which is why the U.S. military is court-martialling and convicting the soldiers who did the torture, because, well, Hersh LIED. Look, them darkies need a good whuppin’ now and then to beat some sense into them, they’ll *never* learn about this “democracy” stuff unless we put a good whuppin’ on them from time to time when they ain’t payin’ attention!
– Badtux the Redneck Penguin
So, what do we have so far? Let’s see…
Attacks upon me… how boring.
An attack on Hersh by the Pentagon which essentially serves to deny that a covert operation in Iran is underway. Huh. How odd. (Standard procedure.)
Meanwhile, if you’ve been keeping track of the Iranian situation, via Jane’s, or CFR, or Stratfor, (subscription required) the common take on it seems to be that some type of military confrontation with Iran is imminent.
Considering the recommendations in the CFR report, it’s not at all out of the question that the US is exercising it’s military options and has launched
an intel op. It’s a two sided affair- military and diplomacy. Nothing new there…
And, considering the current Administration’s policy of “first stike”, it is highly possible that Hersh is correct. Regardless of what you think of his work.
It is also possible that Hersh was fed disinfo by the Pentagon. Highly possible.
The current situation with Iran is an intel and covert hotbed. That much is clear.
It just seems to me that the tone of this discussion is not apropos to the gravity of the situation.
It’s not.
Nor is it clued in to the very available policy matters and intel on Iran.
It’s all about bashing an over the hill reporter.
Hersh looks at how much money Michael Moore has made peddling nonsense and says, ‘Why not?’
“It just seems to me that the tone of this discussion is not apropos to the gravity of the situation.”
Yes, because if there is even one unhappy person in the world, the rest of us don’t have the right to be funny.
I agree, yes, yes, I agree
— F. Zappa
p.s. The bald guy’s name was Jackie Wright
From Global Security: One potential military option that would be available to the United States includes the use of air strikes on Iranian weapons of mass destruction and missile facilities.
In all, there are perhaps two dozen suspected nuclear facilities in Iran. The 1000-megawatt nuclear plant Bushehr would likely be the target of such strikes. According to the Nonproliferation Policy Education Center, the spent fuel from this facility would be capable of producing 50 to 75 bombs. Also, the suspected nuclear facilities at Natanz and Arak will likely be targets of an air attack.
American air strikes on Iran would vastly exceed the scope of the 1981 Israeli attack on the Osiraq nuclear center in Iraq, and would more resemble the opening days of the 2003 air campaign against Iraq. Using the full force of operational B-2 stealth bombers, staging from Diego Garcia or flying direct from the United States, possibly supplemented by F-117 stealth fighters staging from al Udeid in Qatar or some other location in theater, the two-dozen suspect nuclear sites would be targeted.
Military planners could tailor their target list to reflect the preferences of the Administration by having limited air strikes that would target only the most crucial facilities in an effort to delay or obstruct the Iranian program or the United States could opt for a far more comprehensive set of strikes against a comprehensive range of WMD related targets, as well as conventional and unconventional forces that might be used to counterattack against US forces in Iraq.
SNAFU DOESN’T APPROVE OF THE TONE OF THIS DISCUSSION. SO SERIOUS IT UP, OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF SNAFU!
Yes, because if there is even one unhappy person in the world, the rest of us don’t have the right to be funny.
You make an assumption that is simply incorrect.
Neither unhappy nor at a loss for the humor.
But, there is more to this than bad jokes and denigration.
And, for what it’s worth.
You guys aren’t that damn funny.
Frank Zappa… now that was a funny dude…
For the record.
Herschshit!
SNAFU IS NOT ONLY A THINKER, BUT HE’S A THINKER WHO CAN LAUGH!
WE NEED MORE LAUGHERTHINKERS LIKE SNAFU OR THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON!
Bless you, AbuQa’Qa
You make an assumption that is simply incorrect.
Neither unhappy nor at a loss for the humor.
But, there is more to this than bad jokes and denigration.
And, for what it’s worth.
You guys aren’t that damn funny.
Frank Zappa… now that was a funny dude…
For the record.
The fact that you felt like you had to answer that seriously tells us all we need to know, YOU FUCKING MORON!
And boy am I relieved that you think Zappa was “a funny dude.” That’s a load off my mind!
Poor unfunny scary clowns. So very sure of themselves.
Hehe.
As if I care what you think of me!
How cute.
And I wasn’t even going to dignify your comment that “you guys aren’t that funny,” but now I’m pissed. One of the fun things about this site is that not only is the Citizen Journalist the best acid-drenched satirist since, well, since Benny Hill, he’s attracted a bunch of contributors to the site who are also smart, funny, and creative. Present company excepted, of course.
You wouldn’t know funny if it snuck up your colon and pulled your condescending uvula out your ass.
Definitely since Martin Heidegger, anyway.
I AM SNAFU. I HAVE NOW COMMENTED 6 TIMES IN THIS THREAD. BUT I PITY ALL YOU FOR BEING SO VERY SURE OF YOURSELVES.
CAN’T YOU HEAR THE MOCKERY IN MY VOICE? HEAR IT!
Benny Hill?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Oh man. Now, THAT WAS FUNNY!
ROFLMAO.
Woooohoooo! Thanks. (Wiping tear from eye.)
Um, Snafu?
I think you’ve gone beyond “lack of self-awareness and context” into a whole new realm of making a fool of yourself.
But keep it going, pal. That’s what I’m here for.
SEVEN COMMENTS! CAN’T YOU SENSE HIS SNAFU MOCKERY?
What’s the matter Jeff? Run out of funny things to say?
I guess you did!
Let me try that:
I AM JEFF. I’VE COMMENTED SEVEN TIMES N THIS THREAD. BUT I PITY ALL SNAFU FOR BEING SO VERY SURE OF HIMSELF.
CAN’T YOU HEAR THE MOCKERY IN MY VOICE? HEAR IT!
Huh. Not very funny. Oh well.
Nah. I just wanted to see how far you assholes were willing to go when someone is yanking your chain.
And, I gave you decent context, and was shat upon for it.
How about that…
You guys are impressive.
But, you’re still not funny.
There’s always your day job!
It’s not NICE to fuck with Father Nature!
YOU CAN TELL I’M A THINKER BY MY CAREFUL USE OF THE LINE BREAK.
FOR EMPHASIS.
LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,
THIS.
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I, SNAFU, QUESTION BOTH YOUR APTITUDE FOR HUMOR AND YOUR WORTH AS A THINKER?
BECAUSE I DID SO. BUT ONLY TO TO CHALLENGE YOU.
LIKE A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT.
A SERIOUS ONE; HENCE THE SERIOUS LINE BREAKS.
BUT WITH A DASH OF HUMOR, TOO.
EG. THE LINE ABOUT YOUR DAY JOB! HA! HOW BEAUTIFULLY DELIVERED A BON MOT WAS THAT!
I AM SNAFU, SLAYER OF GIANTS! FEAR ME, EARTHLINGS.
But, but, but (imagine Jerry Seinfeld) SNAFOOO, SNAFOOO, what about the Martin Heidegger comment? Huh, huh, huh? Now, THAT’S comedy!
<SNAFU arrives home where his mother awaits>
Mommy SNAFU: How was your day darling?
SNAFU: Those mean old clowns on PW made fun of me.
Mommy SNAFU: There, there little SNAFU, take your haldol and dream of more pleasant things. Tomorrow is another day. Someone will listen to you.
SNAFU: Really? Do you think so?
SNAFU: Tomorrow I will rise up again. I will show them all that SNAFU is not FUBAR!
<fade to blue>
BTW, Jeff, you can never go wrong with “Schlomo.”
Or monkeys.
while i’m encouraged the u.s. is doing its homework on where the bodies lie in iran (unlike the way we approached iraq), we don’t need to be advertising it. it’s obvious that hersche’s sources have axes to grind and are willing to endanger national security in the process.
i think the unfortunate circumstance is that iran needs to be dealt with militarily, but we can’t do that until we get nailed again. the moment we get hit with terrorism, put iran’s name on it and go to town.
Also BTW:
9. Two words: Portia De Rossi. Oh, wait…
How did that bitch get Portia De Rossi??!! I mean, she’s kinda cute, but, come on.
“Badtux”—How the hell did Hersh break a story that was mentioned in daily briefings for MONTHS before he ever got to it? All Hersh did was regurgitate what one of the accused was feeding him.
Hersh’s only function in the modern world is to remind boomers of when they were young and stupid, so they can forget that now they’re old and still stupid.
I guess it wouldn’t be nice to tell SNAFU that he’s not using the word “apropos” correctly.
I never know whether or not to feel sorry for the people who just stumble in here and start shooting off their mouths . . . or keyboards.
I enjoyed how SNAFU ignored all the evidence that Hersh had no credibility and didn’t allow that to slow him down from introducing irrelevancies.
PlutosDad – BTW – you are OK – Wikipedia says:
There are links there.
Roughly, SNAFU = TARFU = FUBAR = JANFU = FUMTU = SUSFU = Shit sandwich.
Today wittle SNAFU is FUMTU which is SUSFU.
There! See! Didn’t I tell you! He always gets the last word! (that one was really good!)
[keyword “although” hehehehe”
… if only I could get my brackets shifted into position …..
[keyword “bad” ?]
Why, Mr. Crawford, gosh darn it I was just pointing out that Sy Hersh is just a big ole’ liar who never tells the truth when I started talking about how he lied about that Abu Ghraib place and the patriotic way in which our brave soldiers was a’treatin’ them Aye-rabs like theys very own chilluns (I mean, doesn’t EVERY good daddy strip his chilluns nekkid and pile’em up in a pyramid and take pictures of’em in order to make it clear to them that they done wrong? Why do them libruls hates discipline?!), why you bein’ mean to this poor li’l redneck penguin? It’s obvious that this Sy Hersh feller is just a liar, and un-Christian to boot! Otherwise the military would have convicted those soldiers of crimes!
– Badtux the Redneck Penguin
Look! It’s the all-Bush-voters hate Arabs insinuation! Why, I haven’t heard that since the last time Poorman’s blog tipped some sewage this way.
Yawn. Tell me, BadTux, does it bother you when the other lefty bloggers whisper behind your back about your being Jesus’ General-lite? Because I would guess that stings.
<long echoing rifle shot>
Damn – I hate getting penguin blood all over the site you know …
Diana – To you m’lady, to you. Say, do you have my bottle of love potion #9? – can’t seem to find it… <smooch>
Darlin’ …. it’s in your hip pocket!
Yikes – I thought that was my rifle – wonder what that’ll do to the penguin?
Well, it’s a long shot, but I think he’ll live.
Whew! Good. For a moment I was thinking the penguin and the armadillo and then … oh, well …
Hey – JW – what was that you said about pulling on Superman’s finger? I’m in trouble here, man!
I’ve been trying to raise him – he’s prob’ly off writing some new lyrics. Guy never quits.
SNAFU,
here’s an idea for you to chew on:
I’m willing to bet we have plans on attacking every single country out there. We probably have satellite photos of all important industrial and power facitilies. It’s just called intelligence gathering. It doesn’t mean we’re going to attack anyone, it means we are prepared for anything.
And why wouldn’t we want to know important information on Iranian security? Anyone who isn’t concerned at all about North Korea and Iran having nuclear weapons has their head in the sand (or somewhere else).
The only exception to the above would be France. You don’t really need much of a plan to defeat them.
.. just buttery, flakey croissants and a good California Zinfandel.
Pluto’s Dad – I’m not really that “flakey”. I would hope that your assessment is 100%. If we’re not looking, we’re very foolish.
“Someone left the flake out in the rain…”
Oh, man….stop it, you’re killing me.
JWebb – A little while ago, Diana and I were like in love’s hot, fevered iron. Now you’re making suggestions on strategy with the French?
‘t’s OK. It’s cool. So what was Richard Harris’ favorite liquor anyway?
Make it white zinfandel for sure. Only let them eat that and American cheese. They will die of starvation first.
Remember when the Francs were kinda tough? (well tough enough to beat up Gauls I guess) And even the Normans were tough? I guess getting civilized turned them into wimps.
Hmmmm.. butter flakey croissants…
[I am a baby pussy. My site is here. I also post here. But be warned. I can only handle 1, maybe 2 comments a day. I’m still building my readership, you see.]
SNAFU – Go back to bed. Your mommy is calling you.
SNAFU = FUMTU = SUSFU
Oh, that Simon piece is so engaging. What am I thinking?
Well, I guess I could read some Clive Cussler – you know: “I went into the restaurant, because I was hungry, and a restaurant is a place you can go and eat. When I got in the restaurant the waitress said ‘Want somethin’ to eat honey?’ I said ‘Yeah’, but I’m not really her honey. She calls everyone honey – you know when she waits on them …”
Think Hersh is being played? I mean he could be played couldn’t he? Whaddya think, played?
Cool. Musical Comments!
“And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I’ll be thinking of you
And wondering why … ”
MC – Richard Harris’ drink of choice was double vodka, neat – usually six at a time.
JWebb – No wonder he stayed so well preserved for so long – and I do appreciate you sharing such intimate details from so long ago. I don’t think many here really know who it is that graces us with his presence.
M’lady knows!
Shhhhhh.
I still like the shoebox conspiracy!
[keyword “trouble” this thing is spooky!]
<walks in, looks around>
There’s penguin blood on the carpet.
And I don’t even want to know what that stuff is that has all those shoeprints embedded in it. Dang, you guys didn’t just step on it, you STOMPED it.
Jeff, I hope you budgeted for new carpet.