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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
good lord. my baking days are over.
Doing the alphabet is very effective too.
A…B…C…D…. If she’s not writhing in ecstasy by the letter “Q”, you’re doing something wrong there bub.
My wife prefers Beethoven’s Symphony no. 5 in the key of C, first performed on Countess Razumovsky in 1809.
But only the arrangement with piano accompaniment… because the fingers are oh, so important.
It is also critical to maintain a disciplined, yet pliable embouchure. Otherwise, you won’t “feel” the music.
I thought embouchure applied to wind instruments, Jim. Which is the last thing you’d want to hear in that general area …
Well, it’s nice to know that Martha’s Diaries have gotten over all that holiday sentimentality, and back to the explicit lesbianism that brought us all here in the first place.
Two months to go. Then, 5 months of home confinement. Jeff, are we going to see the diaries for that, too?
Then, 5 months of home confinement. Jeff, are we going to see the diaries for that, too?
I’m thinking, blend the nanobot comic thingy with the Martha Stewart Chronicles for when she goes to home confinement.
You always have to bid up the concept when there’s a major change to the storyline.
My wife prefers Beethoven’s Symphony no. 5 in the key of C, first performed on Countess Razumovsky in 1809.
There’s a joke about Korsky-Rimzakov in there somewhere, but I just can’t nail it down.
I’m thinking that if business doesn’t pick up soon this blog won’t last much longer than Martha’s release from prison.
I had an ex girlfriend that would humm “How much is that doggie in the window.”
Jeff, stay it is still the post election funk.
What’s business, Jeff ? Hits ? Blogads ? Comments ? All of it ? ‘Cause we can work on increasing that stuff. But I swear: if you pull the plug, a fatwa will be issued. Hit men will be dispatched. Certain photographs will be published. We’re not messing around here, man.
Tell him, Allah.
Ah, the blogosphere has become a clique run by kingmakers. And its painful not to be among the elect. Additionally, several “important” people who use to return my emails no longer even acknowledge them. And traffic-wise, I’m being beaten by several people who hardly ever even post.
So I’m in one of those fuck everybody, why bother moods. But maybe it’ll pass.
More. Let us hear more of this.
Well, I’ll return your e-mails. Not that that’s any consolation. But still.
Jeff. The apostles were a clique run by kingmakers and look where it got them. Jesus!
Thanks, McGehee.
So. What’s the over/under on my demise, Allah?
March 1st. A few weeks ago I’d have given you through the end of April but now with this talk of cliques and kingmakers I see it’s the ‘sphere as a whole you’re disgusted with, not just your own little corner of it. That’s precisely when my case became terminal. Won’t be long now.
People keep saying it’s a big blog world out there, that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in Glenn Reynolds’s philosophy. Fine. Do any of the sites in the other 99.99% of the ‘sphere actually get read, though? Are there any huge Instapundit-type kingmakers out there driving traffic to blogs that specialize in subjects other than politics? Or are they all off fapping in the dark?
You’ve got three opportunities for traffic boosts coming up, Jeff. One is the CBS report. Two is the Gonzales confirmation hearing. And three, if and when it happens, is a vacancy opening up on the Supreme Court. I hope you’re prepared to flog at least one of them. Because the good taste and independence you’ve shown in refusing to hump the tsunami story’s corpse is going to drive your audience down to zero if it persists. Play ball, chump!
Jeff,
It may not be any constellation to you but my readers love you. I understand how you feel (Ah what am I saying, I have three readers.) and hope you stay. BTW I would answer your e-mails as well.
Thanks Jess.
Allah – of the 3 upcoming stories you mention, only the judicial confirmations interest me. So I guess I better hope Jon Stewart bitch slaps Bob Dole, or Michael Moore gets caught with his fat little Vienna sausage slapping across the bum of a school boy, or else I’m doomed.
I’ll answer your e-mails, too. And I’m here every day–Tsunami coverage or no.
Maybe you just need a break–turn it over to guest-bloggers for a week or something.
Fact is, some of us would still love to have your traffic.
And some of us hardly ever visit Instapundit.
I think we all go through this kind of thing at one level or another, but I wonder whether there’s a sort of zen to it, an ability to do the thing for its own sake, rather than focusing on the recognition.
Just a thought.
And–is it Goldsteyen, or Goldsteen?
It’s -een.
And I do write much of the material here as a sort of zen exercise, though I’m heartened that more than a few people seem to enjoy some of the weirder stuff I post to amuse myself. However, it’s the almost pointed avoidance I sometimes feel that tends to get under my skin. Probably my own paranoia, but there you have it. Oh. And I can’t stand the way the same few sites are given again and again as representative of the blogosphere, or are being written into the official “history” of the blogosphere.
Really chaps my ass.
But hey, like I said, it’ll prolly pass…
I have high hopes that the next Supreme Court confirmation hearing will produce the ultimate blog cock-flap. Even more so than Rathergate. You know why? Because it operates entirely within Glenn’s and Volokh’s and Hewitt’s and Powerline’s and a million other people’s primary area of expertise. Instead of just pretending they have a fucking clue what they’re talking about, this time they really will have a clue. And holy shit, are they ever going to show it. Casual usage of legal jargon; long-winded exegeses of ancient Supreme Court precedents; ponderous, detailed accounts of previous confirmation hearings—the sheer learnedness of it all will be conveyed with the same degree of subtlety as a man sticking his dick in your face, handing you a ruler, and asking you to measure it.
Looking forward to it!
Jeff, me and my four readers are addicted. . . if you go, I won’t have anyone to plagiarize. . .
Can almost hear the skin slapping as the cocks cross, can’t you, Allah?
I’ll probably limit my “analysis” to meditations about the relative comfort of robes vs. slacks / skirts.
SS – Thanks. One day, some grad student in cultural studies will trace my influence through the early days of the blogosphere and find that…some program will actually give him a degree for such meaningless bullshit.
You know what frustrates me? To pour hours into a serious posting reflecting planning, thought, and not-inconsiderable effort, and get zero comments. Then post some silly SF babes poll that takes little thought and about half an hour of image-choosing and processing, and voila! traffic.
Your site is great. You have something unique here, and I would miss it if you depart the blogosphere. There are more than enough lawyers and would-be-journalists imitating Glenn. You do something different, and valuable. I hope you can find a way to keep it going…
Look, I don’t mean to shock anyone, here. But if there are certain high-ranking bloggers one doesn’t enjoy reading–whether it’s Volokh or Reynolds or Hewitt or whomever–why not just skip those guys?
I mean, would the world come to an end if we just stopped reading the websites we don’t enjoy?
And is reading them “just to stay current” just perpetuating the notion/actuality of a hierarchy in the [I’m writing it now, so avert your eyes] “blogosphere”?
I’m not trying to be an asshole, though God knows I am sometimes. But every now and again, when one isn’t in with the cool crowd, the thing to do is to create one’s own crowd of far-cooler people.
Okay–sermon done with. Please excuse the patronizing assholism. Over and out.
Um, Attila Girl?
I AM the cool crowd. I mean, didn’t you see my 80s picture? I sliced like a fucking hammer (to borrow a Paul Anka phrase).
And thanks, John.
Jeff, don’t let the post-election doldrums get you down. These doldrums are inevitable. I bet come inauguration you’ll just be bursting with fresh material.
stop your fucking whining.
“Me”–fuck off. You’re not helping anything.
Jeff, you still slice like a hammer. You’re the internet sex symbol; don’t give that up for porridge or whatever.
(Hm. My validation word is “theres.” Shouldn’t it be “there’s”? Or “theirs”? Must be an allusion to Gertrude Stein: “There are a bunch of theres there.”)
relax. just trying to put things in perspective.
Here’s what I’m thinking:
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle comes out tomorrow. Must go pick that up before the heavy snow comes.
See? My perspective is fine.
whew.
Is it just me, or does anyone else, after reading this thread, feel like givin’ in and kickin’ back with a fistful of ‘ludes, a bottle o’ Jack and a heart-wrenching country western tune belting out of the jukebox in a forlorn, desert highway truck stop?
No?
Okay, it’s just me. Never mind…
Harold and Kumar would love to guzzle Jack and ludes with you.
Okay, but if “White Castle” is a euphemism for, you know, Margarita Nose, all bets are off.
I amaze myself with how dense I am sometimes. But, clearly, I meant well–so there’s that. I think I was protecting you from a possible troll, so there you have a possible defensive use of stalkers/fans.
I missed ‘ludes. I mean, they didn’t sound like a very fun drug at all–but now I feel like my experience of the 70s has a lude-shaped hole in it.
RWS: ludes = quaaludes. No longer available in the form they took when we were in junior high, I’m afraid.
“Lude-shaped holes” were only experienced by those who actually used ludes, I seem to vaguely, faintly recall.
Jeff,
To talk to you bluntly, you are funny, you are original, you are real. Fuck Glenn Reynolds. Fuck Atrios. Fuck LGF. Fuck Kos. You are the real deal a man not a bullshit ego trip. Dude you are the shit. I am a dem and I still say this. Jeff, the world is made of people that understand and relate to you far more than the above mentioned. Hell as a blogger I would have to stand on two chairs to kiss your ass. Hell I would give you a week to draw an audience. That pipeliner in me is coming out.
The feeling of community has definitely decayed. I mean hell, I only started doing this blog thing in March, and in that brief 10 month span, the number of Technorati tracked blogs has quadrupled. I can only imagine how it must feel for folks who have been doing this for 2+ years.
Me, I’m just hoping for more chapters of An American Love Story. Those were always some of my favorite bits.
As a wiser person than I once said, “Sam, sam.”
Jeff,
Jesus, I don’t want to sound like I’m at an AA meeting but here goes: This blog has saved my life. Over a year ago my entire world took a serious left turn. Not to go into too much detail but I got arrested, lost my job, my new house, two cars, my wife left….you know, that old chestnut. I moved back in with my parents at 42, changed careers and am really trying to be a good American again. I read your blog everyday from work and the the only community I feel part of is this group of smart-assed, overly-informed and fucking hilarious people. I don’t comment much anymore but I read daily. To quote from 80’s rock: Don’t Toss Us Away.
Jesus…wtf is going on?
Allah (God bless him), the Commissar, de Beste, now Jeff Goldstien…all burned out or bored. The blogosphere is worse than the political world.
I left that rat race 20 years ago. We had a saying that if you last more than 5 years, you’re either a certified loon or a junkie. I can understand the pressure you place on yourself when trying to satisfy the thousands of people who stop by everyday. And, not being funny myself, I can’t imagine the difficulty in coming up with humorous posts on a daily basis.
So is big league blogging not all its cracked up to be? Juding by what I’ve read here, apparently it is.
OOPS! Should be “isn’t.”
It sounds to me as though you’ve got a decision to make, regarding whether you want to be true to your own voice or want to crease a large market segment. Unless–by some statistically impossible coincidence you happen miraculously to reflexively write exactly what a huge percentage of people want to hear, in the language they want to hear it–you’ll need to work to understand your intended audience and write directly to them. If you want to achieve your apparent goal of dominating the clickthrough rates of the blogosphere, that is.
Personally, I hope you don’t change at all. I wouldn’t mind if you unloaded the gratuitous profanity (not necessarily all of it, but much is superfluous and is probably hurting your numbers), but would hate to see you dumb the site down to be easier to understand. And your regular commenters are some of the sharpest in the blogosphere. Que se ressemble…
Wow, serious stuff! OK, enough! Let’s get back to Martha’s tongue and where we can all get some of that gel. Does it come in vanilla?
Does it come in Nutmeg?
If we’re allowed to consider cereal flavorings for Martha’s consideration, I vote for Booberry.
Jeff, for Gawdsakes, stick around. You are one of the highlights of my morning. (I have a sad life, yes, but still…)
Plus, I’m hoping to see what more wacky “to-do list” hijinks that lil’ scamp Juan Cole might produce.
Oops, that should be “Qui…”
Okay. Looks like everyone voted, and Jeff will keep posting. Yay!
Jeez, this website is the only thing I can grade freshman comp papers to the accompaniment of. Music doesn’t work. And if you all think it’s lonely in the blogosphere, imagine being a Bush voter in academia.
Make that an ENGLISH DEPARTMENT in academia.
This is one of the few places where I don’t feel like I have a contagious skin disease. Waaah!
Appreciate the feedback, people, but honestly—not necessary. I’m not fishing for conmpliments here. I was just answering a couple of questions.
I have no intention of changing what I write; and I’m not looking for some truly massive audience (though I am looking to grow the one I have; going in the other direction is disheartening). And no, I’m not going to fucking tone down the gratuitous fucking profanity, because I don’t believe it’s fucking gratuitous to begin with
….Because to my ear, that’s just how people talk. And by “people,” I mean “me.” And maybe “Leif Garrett.”
Wow, everyone’s weighing in.
Jeff, you started this because you wanted to “Say Something.” And now you have. One (or more) of those blips on the hit-meter’s me checking what you posted – both through RSS (which I don’t know if it counts on the sitemeters), through loading the main page, or other sites that link back to you. Nu, even if you throw up a post that said simply “I don’t have a damn thing to say today.” I’d check it, check back the next day, day after, and so on (e.g. I still check Allah’s site; though it went boom. Found the new/old one, and I check *it* too.)
If you hit a dry streak, sobeit. Take a walk, read a book, other blogs, MSM-droppings, whatever. Post because you want to post, not because the blogless are clamoring for a daily feed.
Nothing you write is gratuitous, Jeff. You never waste words.
Jeff, You are the cool one! This is the funniest, most original site out there. The ability to view all common stories (via Greatest Hits) is unique and should never go away – just expanded upon (for example: random thoughts from a tourist in Sri Lanka).
I can get the news anywhere, but only this site has JG humor. I’m just a reader (until this post), but i see that many, many comments come from “bloggers”, i.e. attila, rightwing sparkle (flutter, flutter goes my heart), etc. Your are very well known.
Keep up the great work. Can you keep the Martha stories going for another year or more? I hope so. The presentation alone is worth it.
I still read it every day Jeffe.
I think people who read blogs and make them are still recovering from the election year which had an addictive amount of material to cover.
I don’t blog but I’m pretty damn sure you’ve captured me as a reader because you blog for yourself not for what you think I might find interesting or amusing. For example, I would want more fat pics of Britney Spears but that’s just me.
I don’t think you’re in it for a popularity contest but maybe you are. Whatever blows your hair back.
I’m a big hockey fan and there are two schools of thought among hockey fans. One group thinks it should be altered and popularized to be more appealing to a larger fan base. Others such as myself have a punk rock philosphy about hockey and don’t give a rats ass about making other people fall in love with the sport. The slow demise of hockey in my opinion is because of this yearning to find acceptance when it would be more popular if they just stuck with the sports roots.
And that is my Joe Pesci in Leathal Weapon 4 “froggy” moment.
People, don’t you think we should all spend a little time abusing Jeff, now? I think he’s been slobbered on enough.
Kate‘s found a new way we might abust him!
.. or “abuse”! Whatever!
Well, I accidentally told him to “fuck off,” so I can check that off on my list of things to do.
Advice to Martha from PDQ Bach: “To curry favor, favor curry.”
The world be full of possibilities.
I AM the cool crowd.
And I am the token uncool guy. It’s good to belong.
I’m a big hockey fan and there are two schools of thought among hockey fans.
Umm … what’s hockey?
And while we’re on the topic, what in hell happened to Stephen Green?
I’ve been wondering about that too, Beck. Hope everything’s okay in Colorado Springs.
I’d happily join in on the Jeff-love-fest but you guys have said it all.
Other than to say any blog with posts that are so deep that I have to acually do research before I can even comment on them is okay by me.
I never read Green until the conventions, so don’t have a long history,but it seemed as though his posting has been very gappy for awhile now. That “Irate Savant” link was at the top of the page for weeks.
Jeff, I quote from your site and comments more than I quote from the late-early seasons of “The Simpsons.” The Mormon-hunting and Excalibur threads were priceless and pretty much clean enough to be work-forwardable (depending on the HR department’s attitude towards Mormons and PCP, respectively, I suppose).
Keep generating the content. The traffic will come.
This blog is pissa. The best.
Wicked Awesome.
That is all.
Good God, Jeff… If you want email I’ll make sure to write you a couple a day of breathless prose about what new weird sh*t is up at the DA office (or just run of the mill sh*t)…but you’d probably just then block me within a short time…..
But please stay, and stay writing what you want, not what you think we want…cuz when you like what you do, that is what comes through.
This is the front porch, the sidewalk cafe and java shop, the Algonquin Round Table (though the vicious cynicism of that band of wags hasn’t quite been reached …yet) … it’s really one of the most democratic of places, where anyone with a ‘puter and a few bucks can comment at will or even try their own hand at sophmoric humor or patrician disdain (and sometimes both at the same time, even unintended)
You bring some fresh, startling and hilarious things to bear and I love coming here to see what new stuff you are up to.
I hope to keep coming here for quite a while.
When I looked at this entry, there were 69 comments. I just had to tell someone…Oops