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Atheists For Santorum [guest post by motionview]

EXT DAYTIME, COMEDY CENTRAL / DNC HEADQUARTERS

DNC MEDIA CHIEF: We have 4,332 magic underwear jokes for Romney, if it’s Newt we’re going to re-animate Chris Farley, Tina Fey’s contractually obligated to have her cock put back on to play Ron Paul if he wins, and if it’s Santorum….

COMEDY CENTRAL EXECUTIVE: Yes?

DNC MEDIA CHIEF: We’re putting new censors in at the FCC; YOU won’t have a problem ridiculing the Santorum problem.

COMEDY CENTRAL EXECUTIVE: Carry on

AtheistsForSantorum

8 Replies to “Atheists For Santorum [guest post by motionview]”

  1. B. Moe says:

    Can they do testicular transplants yet?

    Because if we could get just one of Newts and graft in on Rick, I mean Newt would still have plenty and Santorum might have a chance of survival.

  2. newrouter says:

    In 2006, when the Romney administration drove Catholic Charities of Boston out of providing adoption services because it held the organization must arrange same-sex adoptions, did it not think it was following the law? Of course it did – it just wasn’t willing to fight to do what was right. Two of Mr. Romney’s nominations for judgeships in Massachusetts, Stephen S. Abany and Marianne C. Hinkle, were well-known as advocates for special protections for homosexuals. What about the First Amendment’s protection of the free exercise of religion? What assurances did the governor receive that these nominees would “only follow the law”? Do their assurances still apply now that Mr. Romney is no longer in office?

    The bottom line here is that it is not enough to nominate judges who say they will not legislate from the bench. Nearly all say that. The next Republican president must nominate and fight for unambiguously conservative jurists who will stand their ground. Mr. Romney has shown repeatedly that he is unwilling to do this. The left has no such inhibition.

    If elected president, I will apply a three-part litmus test for jurists: They need to be well-qualified, ethical and constitutionalists. In addition, my nominees will have a clear record of supporting the principle that judges should in no way rely upon any foreign or international law for the purpose of interpreting the U.S. Constitution and laws.

    When only judges of this kind are nominated, future generations will not look back on the coming four years and wonder, “Why did they fumble the best opportunity in a generation to return the federal courts and the third branch of government to their proper place in the constitutional order of government?” Numerous conservative leaders have said that I was the “go-to” guy in the Senate to push for conservative judges. This is a deeply felt cause for me – of both heart and head. We absolutely must get this right. Ambiguity and timidity won’t get it right, nor will it defeat the left’s judicial agenda. We need to uphold the Constitution with principles and conviction, not with moderation and vague hopes.

    link

  3. motionview says:

    I’m sorry was I not supposed to pee in the punch bowl?

  4. leigh says:

    It’s Friday night, mv. Not your fault.

  5. Pellegri says:

    /brofist.

    I’ve got a wee babby atheist on my tumblr who may be trainable some day to join these esteemed ranks; unfortunately right now he sees Santorum and immediately envisions RELIGION FOR EVERYONE.

  6. motionview says:

    Send him the link Pellegri I’ll hit him with the 2×4 of knowledge (logo, top left)

  7. […] at protein wisdom) This entry was posted in tina fey's cock jokes and tagged chris farley, comedy central, dnc, […]

  8. EBL says:

    http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-is-matter-with-rick-santorum.html Dan Collins has a pretty good theory of what is the matter with Rick Santorum…

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