9. The phrase “make the yuletide gay” will be replaced with “make the yuletide spiffy!”
8. Decree that each year, the Angels win the World Series and the Saints the Super Bowl
7. Demand “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” change its show title to “WHORES WHORES WHORES!”
6. “Eggs Benedict” will now be referred to as “Eggs Benedict XVI” and served with a side of white smoke.
5. No more “Family Fued”. It sends the wrong message.
4. Out: Cash for Clunkers. In: Cash for Those Who Accept Jesus Christ as Their Lord and Savior and Who Swear Off the Devil’s Latex Dick Socks and Have Oodles of Babies, Amen.
3. Federally-subsidized school lunch program will consist of a wafer and a chalice of red wine. And maybe a bologna sandwich.
2. “‘Lady’ Gaga my ass!”
1. Skinny jeans on men? Banned. And hair highlighting like, severely frowned upon.
Ha! ROTFL!
I totally get behind #1.
Numbers 7 and 1 would make me willing to go door-to-door for Santorum, and I’ve witnessed his irreconcilable-with-reality betrayal of Toomey (and thus the PA electorate) first-hand.
I’m with Ella there otterbe a law!
10) mercury laden fish is good for you
on Fridays
In re: #1: I do defer to the wisdom generally (perhaps apocryphally) credited to GHW Bush: Never trust a man who dyes his hair.
10. Only variety still available at trendy west-coast cupcake emporia: Angel Food Cupcakes.
Jeff:
I understand your reluctance to back a Santorum-like “moral crusader”, but perhaps what we need is precisely someone willing to predicate their stances as moral ones. See, e.g., Doc Zero’s plea for the GOP to make the moral case for capitalism.
There’s a moral case to be made for not viewing citizens as something more than vote-holding serfs and someone needs to do so. Everything I’ve seen says Mittens can’t/won’t do so.
11) All public high school students must take a quarter of Latin and a quarter of Greek.
because it’s immoral to take a dead language off of life support
No more “Family Feud”. It sends the wrong message.
Well, yeah.
those look wonderful but I’d go with a white chocolate ganache in the middle and just let the raspberry jam accent the top part
You’re giving the progressives ideas again. Don’t be surprised if these are reported on the “news” on MSNBC some day soon.
zamoose —
I have no problem backing Santorum. See my previous post. Bachmann was my first choice. Santorum is just fine with me — and in fact, I’ve been taking a lot of shit for saying I’d support him.
Also, Zamoose, see here for an additional discussion of your second paragraph.
At least the Republican establishment is looking out for him.
Karl Rove should just start wearing a button that says, “No, really, I do matter. I swear it!”
Rove has become a sad little man.
I say again: ANYBODY but the SCOAMF currently infesting the WH. I could vote for Jimmuh Catah with a clear conscience. At least he’d have a good shot at dying in office.
1 exception: Ron Paul. Sorry, he’s bug-fuck crazy. NEXT!
By the way? Found votes gave Romney the last-second win.
They should have found him a few more votes —then he wouldn’t be seen as having lost support compared to four years ago.
Jeff:
No disrespect intended. We want a candidate that makes moral cases for what are labeled as “conservative” or “classical liberal” views of innovation, freedom, commerce and societal structure.
Slightly related: <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204791104577108782771826106.html
Gah, HTML fail! Little help?
I can’t look at Romney’s tiny margin as a win, if only because I can’t believe that the votes going to Michele Bachmann would have gone in the majority to Romney had Michele not been on the ballot, nor those from Gingrich, nor Paul, nor Huntsman, nor Perry: so, in the abstract, Romney got his ass kicked in Iowa is my takeaway.
link for zamoose?
7. Demand “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” change its show title to “WHORES WHORES WHORES!”
Could he get behind changing “Jersey Shore” to “Jersey WHORE”?
He’d have my vote.
zamoose,
If the fiscons and socons were smart, they could make common cause by figuring out how much spending could be cut and how much government interference with faith could be gotten rid of by simply restricting government to its’ proper Constitutional sphere.
For example, the FedGov has no business getting involved in adoptions at any level. If Catholic Charities doesn’t want to place orphans with gay couples, it shouldn’t have to… and if the SanFran Bathouse Charity wants to take orphans in and place them with no one but gay couples, cool.
Likewise, give the socons vouchers to send their kids to schools that teach creationism, and the atheists to schools that teach evolution. Let the job market sort out if the training was good enough.
#1 and #2 would get my vote locked down, tight.
SDN:
Read that as “SanFran Bat House” and wondered when we’d stumbled into Bat Country and whether it was worth giving anyone a heads-up.
LBascon #25:
I knew how to post the link. ‘Twas rather a failure to close the quote properly what did my comment in.
zamoose, I tried that first, and that didn’t work either.
I think you might have had an extra space between the a and h at the start…
‘Deck your halls’ with whatever turns your crank, but let’s be clear, that doesn’t include those men’s “look at my butt” jeans with fancy embroidery on the hip pockets. Those are gay apparel and right out in SoCon circles.
I wish the Oklahoma primary was up. I would like the see the candidates note this woman and what she went through. http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/2012/01/self-defense-inspiration-of-day.html
Saw that on the news tonight. Good on the 911 operator for telling her to do what she had to do, and good on her for doing it. In California, she’d be facing prosecution.
Which I suppose is better than New York, where she’d probably be dead.
That young lady lives about 60 miles from me in Tulsa. It’s been all over the news today.
Thank goodness for the castle law.