Serr8d, who has been one of this site’s strongest advocates and friends, lost his wife of 26 years, Mary, to an aneurysm yesterday. She’d lapsed into a coma 8 days ago and in his email to me he notes that she eventually died in his arms in the hospital.
As you would expect, he’s devastated — as is his daughter — and he was writing to let me know he won’t be back online or blogging, likely ever. He doesn’t see the point anymore. And honestly, who can blame him?
I can only hope the prayers and well-wishes Serrd8 and his family receives from the pw family will comfort him in what must be the most horrific of times; just as I hoped the same for Donald when he lost his wife, and for James Joyner, who recently lost his.
Through blogging, one makes many online “friends” (and online enemies, as well) — and at times, those relationships can seem surreal or even silly, solely virtual as many of them are and remain. But having been in email contact with Serr8d for many years, I grew to know him in a way that goes beyond online acquaintances: he is a very good, decent, driven, and idealistic man, a fierce friend to those he likes, a fierce foe to those whom he feels warrant outspoken opposition.
My thoughts and prayers, and those of my family, go out to him today, and for every day forward; may his pain be tempered by the knowledge that, even as he recedes from the online universe, we here at pw will still be with him for as long as he may need us.
Too, I should note here that BJTex was again admitted to the hospital here recently suffering from seizures. He was lucid and aware. So our thoughts continue to go out to Brian and his family; likewise, thoughts and prayers to dicentra, whose grandmother just passed.
It seems silly to say sometimes, but you are all a part of my extended family, and I honestly do feel the hurt many of you go through, though obviously not so deeply as you. Please know that I care, and that I really am thinking of you in your dark times.
damn
just damn
Holy Jesus. I’m incredibly sorry to hear that and I echo Jeff’s sentiments on family we’ve never met.
One day at a time, Serr8d. Just make it through today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. May peace be with you, my friend.
Serr8d, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
My prayers to BJTex, may he achieve full recovery.
God bless you, serr8d, wherever you are out there. I’ll be one of many sending thoughts and prayers your way.
when you’re faced with something as horrifyingly arbitrary as that he’s right nothing makes sense… I’m so sorry
My prayers go out to you, serr8d.
And yet we still feel the bond. God bless you all.
Serr8d,
May the Lord bless you and your daughter, and keep you; may He make His countenance to shine upon you, and give you His Peace.
Serr8d, may God give you comfort on the loss of your beloved wife.
I’m so sorry, serr8d.
My prayers go out to Serr8d, BJTex and their families.
And dicentra.
I am so sorry :((((( Just horrible. Prayers going out to him.
Believe it or not, I am truly sorry.
Sorry to hear this news. Prayers are with Serr8d and BJTex. I don’t comment here often, but I read them. It’s amazing how you can get to know people online.
I am so sorry to hear this, serr8ed, and we’ll keep you in our thoughts as well as brian and dicentra.
Prayers and thoughts go out for you and your daughter, Serr8d.
So sorry to hear that your wife has passed away Serr8d.
May her memory be eternal.
My condolences, serr8d. I wish you strength and comfort in these dark days, and peace in the days to come.
[…] Rocketman left a comment today, notifying us of the death of Serr8d’s wife, Mary, from a brain aneurysm. He is one of my best online friends, and I have nothing to add to the thoughts and feelings that Jeff expresses at his place. […]
My heart breaks for you Serr8d. The only thing I know to say is Pablo’s got it about right. Worry about tomorow tomorrow. Hang on to your daughter as much as possible.
My prayers for you
Serr8d and BJTexas, as well as dicentra: I am saddened to hear of the hard times. Breathe, put one foot in front of the other and plod best as you can. I pray your pain recedes, and the sooner.
And yes, Serr8d, hold your daughter close.
Truly, truly horrible. My heart goes out to you, serr8d, and to BJT and dicentra too. Such pain can’t be ignored, eased, brushed aside, or removed. It can only be endured. Life truly is awful sometimes. I really wish I had something more helpful to say than that.
My thoughts and prayers to Serr8d. May God bless you in your time of need.
Serr8d, I’m so sorry. May G-d comfort you.
Serr8d:
Words fail in the face of that. In the absence of all else, there stands God. I hope that you are able to seek him and find comfort. You have brought insight and humor to many here and elsewhere.
Without love we would not mourn, but the true answer to grief’s pain is not bitterness but more love. May those whose hearts are sore today find strength.
What a horrible tragedy. Thoughts and prayers go to all involved, for strength and peace.
Thoughts and prayers to everyone…
My genuine sympathies, serr8d. These are the times where not a one can console and not a word can reason. The hours seem endless and dark, and all we can hope to do — failing often — is to take a moment at a time.
You are a unique, gifted, and valued friend and I hope for your best and that of all near to you. We care about you.
How awful. My condolences serr8d, may God keep you and comfort you.
My condolences and prayers, Serr8d.
I am sorry for your loss Serr8d.
Prayers for you, Serr8d and your daughter. Jeff’s sentiments are so apt for all of us.
May the G_d of all comfort be very present for you at this time. Sincere condolences to you, and to all who love her.
JHoward said what I wanted to say already.
Remember that when life overwhelms you, there are people that care what happens to you.
Oh, God.
How many other pw regulars have lost their wives in senseless, painful ways?
My grandmother’s death at 97 makes all kinds of sense. It’s an end to pain and difficulty, whereas these other losses are just the beginning.
My fullest condolences to serr8d and donald and all others who’ve been mercilessly kneecapped by life.
Serr8d I’m so terribly sorry.
As you would expect, he’s devastated — as is his daughter — and he was writing to let me know he won’t be back online or blogging, likely ever. He doesn’t see the point anymore. And honestly, who can blame him?
It really has been a terrible year for the PW crew, and I think many of us have felt the temptation to just let it all go, leave the vultures to feast on the fools and focus on our own families. Our opponents are excellent at what they do, our allies are clueless or actively working against us, and apparently we are largely shouting in the wilderness. There are times when it certainly all seems futile and pointless.
And yet, here we are. If we hadn’t pursued these intellectual passions, if we had chosen not to wade into the political and cultural battle that is consuming our beloved country, we would not be here to offer you Serr8d our deep and sincere condolences.
And so I offer those condolences for your beloved Mary, and wish you and your daughter good life.
Serr8d: My condolences and best wishes to you and your daughter. You are welcome to rejoin us anytime, should you so desire.
Also, what motionview said. I wish my grandparents were still alive; I would like to ask them if this is what it felt like in early 1942, when all we could do was give ground here and there and hope to fight another day.
I was feeling that way today before this additional sad news.
I will be bothering God a little extra on your behalf, serr8d. Fuck, that sucks.
The list of people to remember in prayers has gotten way too long. I hereby forbid anyone else from suffering until the backlog subsides.
SBP and Ric Locke and donald and now serr8d, all losing their wives through death or incapacitation or both.
I appreciate the well-wishes on my behalf. I hope you don’t mind if I regift them to the truly bereaved.
My heartfelt condolences to Serr8d and his family. May God bless and keep you and your daugter, and grace you with all you need to bear the burden your darling wife’s sudden passing. I realize that knowing that she’s in a better place, and that you all will ultimately be together again one day, doesn’t make this any easier, my friend…
One of the way’s Our Lord graces and offers his merciful comfort to us is with each other’s support at times like these. As Jeff said so well, know that we offer that as well as our prayers for you and your’s.
God bless and keep all who have suffered the losses of their loved ones.
Serr8d, please accept my condolences. You and your wife are in my prayers.
Serr8d, I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. While you undoubtedly have friends in meatspace, you have some here too.
My deepest condolences. Remember where we are if you ever need to.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Serr8d. Such a horrible, horrible tragedy.
This just sucks out loud.
Damn. Prayers on their way.
This has been an annus horribilis for so many and the sorrow runs deep.
May all those suffering be comforted and strengthened in their time of grief.
Serr8d,
If you see this, these are my condolences.
And now you’re on the cross, suffering for us, so that we’ll remember how much we love our wives, husbands and children. It will not be lost on me, I promise.
How awful.
Crap, I’m not even sure what to say. I can’t imagine how awful it feels and doubt that anything I could come up wtih to say would even begin to help. The better half and I lost an old and once very close friend to suicide this year, and that was bad enough without even beginning to compare. Maybe I’ll give the old lady an extra hug tonight or something.
Amen, Jeff.
Godspeed, serr8d family.
Godspeed us, everyone.
I’m sorry for you serr8d, my sympathies.
I’m so sorry to hear that serr8d. What a horrible thing to happen, especially around the holidays. I’m adding your family to my morning prayers (I assume God will be able to identify you by your internet handle).
serr8d: God bless and keep you close. When I was struggling with something not nearly as dire as this, a friend told me she would pray that God close His arms around me and hold me tight as an earthly Father would. That is my prayer for you, my friend. Thinking of my own wife and all she has saved me from, I can not even imagine your pain. I will be at daily Mass tomorrow, praying a rosary for you and your daughter.
Yes. We feel the bond.
And it’s not for no reason. It’s different getting to know people through their writing, but it is a very real and significant way of getting to know one another. It takes quite a while, but it can go very deep.
So people who hang out here know, as Jeff knows, that our friend serr8d is indeed a very good, decent, driven, and idealistic man, a fierce friend to those he likes, a fierce foe to those whom he feels warrant outspoken opposition.
Words fail in the face of grief. Yet Jeff found the right words for this post, and there are so many beautiful words of love and support in this thread.
I find that encouraging. Terrible events encourage us to count our blessings, so it seems like a good time to thank Jeff for creating this intellectual oasis. I find it very heartening to be part of such a beautiful community.
Our hearts go out to you, serr8d.
Well that sux. Best wishes to Serr8d, BJTex, and Dicentra.
My deepest condolences. Let us not let loss force us to take stock in what is truly important in our lives.
Amen
God·speed
? ?[god-speed] Show IPA
noun
good fortune; success (used as a wish to a person starting on a journey, a new venture, etc.).
From Serr8d to all at Protein Wisdom.
Blessings and condolences to Serr8d, an all-round Good Person.
I can and will testify from personal experience that Life goes on whether we like it or not. It is said that God doesn’t make mountains His creatures can’t climb. I don’t find that to be a Universal truth, but He always provides a path.
Regards,
Ric
I lost my wife 14 months ago to a pulmonary embolism. Very unexpected and very devastating. My heartfelt condolences and deepest sympathies to you, Serr8d. May God grant you peace.
Thanks for posting that, Geoff.
You hang in there, serr8d. Something I always appreciated and occasionally even admired about you is how quick you are to make a joke. That little thing means nothing at the moment but it’s brightened my day more than once. Thanks.
Awhile back I lost someone and Geoff was kind enough to talk with me quite a bit during that time. It really made a difference. It did. You have my email I think and we’ve DMed on twitter already if you ever want to talk about anything at all some night.
Sad, sad days. Condolences all around. Blessings to all.
Ach, Serr8d, it’s terribly sad to hear this news of your loss. I hope, nevertheless, that you’re buoyed up in the presence of your child, near loved ones, friends and neighbors. We too take your behalf, to wish you ease. And hold here friendship for you and yours, to await your return.
Wow. Well now that sux. May 2012 be better for all of us.
This is so sad. My sincerest condolences, Serr8d, to you and your family.
Deepest condolences to all who’ve lost loved ones. Prayers and warm wishes go out that they are comforted.
I’ll be hugging the kids and wife more often and tighter than usual, that’s for sure.
I’m sorry for your loss, serr8ed.
[…] leaving him and their daughter behind to deal with the loss. (Jeff Goldstein at Protein Wisdom also wrote about the tragedy.) You hear of these things, and things like today when I learned that the […]
My prayers are with you and your family, Serr8d, my blogging brother. Take care of your family first– your online family will always be here for you!
Been away from the internet for a few days and this is certainly not the kind of news you anticipate coming back to. My heartfelt condolences to Serr8d and his family.
I have been missing seeing Serr8d on twitter and just yesterday saw a tweet from him on my favorite subject “antisemitism.”
“Antisemitism that’ll impress Ron #Paul ‘bots?: Why the left might stop carping about Act of Valor proteinwisdom.com/?p=37771 ”
Rather casually I tweeted back to Serr8d asking “where have you been?” as I didn’t know that a tragedy had happened in his life. And then he let me know.
There are no words of comfort to give, only maybe knowing that people are out here who care and await his healing as it may come in dribs and drabs.
Hang in Serr8d, we need you.