me: “So. Meet any nice people while I was away?”
apple:
me: “Make any new friends…?”
apple:
me: “…hello…?”
apple:
me: “…Oh come on. You’re not still angry because I didn’t take you to Baltimore with me, are you?”
apple: “No, why should I be angry? After all, what apple wouldn’t enjoy staying here and being fondled inappropriately by that creepy INDC guy for five straight days.”
me: “He did that–?”
apple: “Put it this way: just be thankful you’re not a legless fruit.”
me: “Wow. I had no idea…”
apple: “Yeah, well, live and learn. Now run me under some hot water, would you? I feel so filthy.”
Yeah. Bill’s dumping bedpans and used plastic sheep (don’t ask) all over this blog while you’re gone, and apple wants to gripe about a little goose on the ass ?
How about a little perspective, for Pete’s sake.
I don’t even want to know what Bill did to your deadbeat neighbor…
… Do I?
Welcome back. Your guests were rude, obscure, and completely without scruples. Deelightful!
Now you’re gonna hear a lot of crazy talk about Bill putting us all into a heightened state of sexual arousal …
Now I know how Kobe Bryant feels (without the height, money and movie star good looks).
Boy, at one point someone wanted me to do my Magic 8-Ball™ trick, and I didn’t have it handy. If I had used that damn whiny apple instead of Beck’s head…
Dang.
Bill is the Wonkette of the right leaning blogs! (That should get me banned from INDC)
It was that goatee….always brings out the ‘nasty’ in a guy.
And the really amazing part is, I didn’t even have to take off my Stetson ten-gallon.
When he mentioned that wasn’t really into blondes, I just assumed that he preferred brunettes.
My mistake.
I still don’t know why Beck’s head kept replying, “Ask again later.”
what do you mean he isn’t into blondes????????? Hmmph!