“If they were done in Word™, your defense is absurd.”
****
inspired by Allah and the Llama Butchers.
****
update: Lileks has more (via Glenn).
****
update 2: Then, of course, there’s the Bill INDC).
A friendly reminder to the folks at CBS and their apologists…
If the pajamas do not fit, you must acquit!
Wait… that didn’t make any sense.
Thanks for the nod! The sheer absurdity of CBS using the Mark Fuhrman “yeah, I planted the glove, but OJ’s guilty as hell” defense is beyond description.
if the reporter is rather,
then the news is pure blather.
I still like the haiku format best
Truth matters not here
CBS’ ‘truth’ ignores fact
Rather’s demise………now.
Addendums:
“With a superscipt, then you must quit!”
“With letters kerned, then you’ve been burned!”
“With bad acronyms, this ain’t the Sims!”
What kind of idiots do McAuliffe & the DNC take us for? This is the greatest thing since sliced bread & butter. Rather’s ratings in NYC are behind re-runs, not to mention NBC and ABC.
Rather serves the truth
his logic escapes me now
it may spring forth soon
Texans are typing
Neo-con are sniping
Hell, they had Word way back when. I got myself a original copy of the Bible wrote in it! Some feller name Gutenburger or sumpin done it up.
Rather lied…
CBS died
Crazy like a fox?
Her name is Ms Knox,
She keeps saying “they’re fakes!”
And we’re on our 34th take.
Cut!!
if the docs are feigned, you must explain.
Microsoft fonts?
Object of taunts.
Times New Roman?
A career in the gloaming.
Rather lied: docs are forged
Truth emerges triumphant
C B S dies slow.
If the type’s proportional,
The defense is contortional!
—-
If the leading is tight,
Then somethin’ ain’t right.
—-
If it matches Word’s default (duh!),
Then bring back Uncle Walter!
Save a Demo
Type a memo
i’d Rather be blogging.
All your memos are belong to us!
If your a doubtin’ Thomas,
then blog it in your ‘jamas.
Kerry served, Bush swerved.
Bush fights, Kerry might.
There once was a newsman named Rather
Who lost his good name—or so I gather:
Since, with his documents fake,
And his reputation at stake,
He continued to promote his false blather.
Distressed Michael Moore has one:
If the document’s forged
buy some donuts and gorge.
Maybe someone can send Rather a pair of pajama bottoms to replace his pants which are currently on fire.
There once was a newsman named Rather
Who lost his good name—or so I gather:
Since, with his documents fake,
And his reputation at stake,
He continued to promote his false blather.
That doesn’t scan. Try:
There once was a newsman named Rather,
Who lost his good name, so I gather:
With documents fake,
Reputation at stake,
He kept on promotin’ false blather.
Instead of Cochrane, you should have used a picture of Jackie Chiles (the Cochrane caricature from Seinfeld).
There was a strange man named John Kerry
Who found two rich widows to marry
But his stories ‘bout ‘Nam
Were just a big scam
And now the whole country is wary.
CBS
Clearly BS
Complete BS
Concocted BS
.
.
.
Charlatan Back-Stabbers
If it’s New Times Roman
Then Kerry’s a yeoman.
There once was a man from Nantucket…
(Well, from Massachussetts, anyway)
Better stop there are try this instead:
When carefully crafting a memo,
To help out a crapulent Demo,
No secrets are kept,
You can’t trade on your rep,
When bias is part of your M.O.
If the signature’s a PICT,
Then you must convict!
If the letter is PostScript,
Build a CBS Host Crypt!
Legitimate journos are bothered,
‘Cause bloggers have it better covered.
You: “Folks in pajamas.”
We retort: “Your mama.”
The monopoly has been shattered.
Shadoobee, shatterer, shattered.
Shadoobee, shattered, shattered.
Blinded, blinkered rage
Flawed in the forge, then shatters
On myriad blogs
If I were a Blogger
in this land
I’d declare
Total War
on the Forger Man
I’d post him as he stands
Photoshop him if he’d run
I’d debunk with my TypePad
Link to Lileks, just for fun
God damn!
God damn
The Forger
Dan, in a fashion
reminiscent of jen-jhis,
gets burned by doc scam
An anchorman, name of Dan Rather
Got the Blogosphere all in a lather
their pajamas engorged
finding documents forged
Have we finally found ‘Epstein’s Father’!
If it’s “too good to check”
Your cred’s gone to heck.
If the laser printer has spewed it,
Then Jen-jhis John is denuded.
Jammie Nation YES! These are just GREAT! My favorite is, he needs pajama bottoms cause his pants are fire, oh that’s just rich. And Rather lied, CBS died, too good, it’s just too good! I’ve been bugged by Rather for years, knew from my own experience that he only told us what would support his agenda, and now he’s busted, this is just too, too sweet.
Jammie Nation YES!
Nitro Nora
“their pajamas engorged”?
Easy Monster, this is a family show.
If the DNC typed,
the charges are hyped.
Once it was bias,
now it’s “Bye, ass.”
When Rather’s retired,
Remember: not fired.
We love pajamas.
Dan loves osama.
CBS: the documents are fake,
but there’s been no mistake.
If you’re dissed by Rooney
Then ya gotta be looney.
If it’s Times New Roman
Then fire the showman!